Quote from: clarissa jade on November 09, 2016, 01:11:22 PM
My dad does not love and accept Clarissa at all.I started crossdressing 2 years ago and he had issues with it right away.Our relationship is alright at the moment and said he raised me to be totally masculine which that is not me.I have always seen myself as male and female all my life.Dad and I always get into an argument when this is discussed.My mom and sister have had it with him rejecting me dressed as Clarissa.Luckily my sister knows a great family therapist where she works at.My dad won't even try at all coming to terms this is me and happy as a part time crossdresser.
From other posts...
Quote from: clarissa jade on November 09, 2016, 07:18:45 AM
Hello,I am Clarissa and a part time crossdresser ... I had help with a couple good friends whom are into this including a week with an image consultant.My mom does know including my sister Cassie,they were a little shocked at first and been supportive ever since....
Quote from: clarissa jade on November 09, 2016, 10:08:45 AM
... I do have a non acceptive dad that does not accept this at all.Basically he does not love and accept Clarissa in.My sister loves it,says Clarissa is like a sister in her life she never had and we are close now..Mom,she somehow knew there was something about me....
Quote from: clarissa jade on November 09, 2016, 11:16:37 AM
unhappy,dad not still loving accepting Clarissa in
Happy,a shopping trip with my sister this weekend
Quote from: clarissa jade on November 09, 2016, 09:45:24 PM
My dad making me angry today,still wont accept Clarissa which is my female side in and won't even try coming to terms about it.My mom told him put the effort in at least.
So I get the feeling you are generally quite fortunate and have a number of good if not great allies by your side... you mother, sister, girlfriend, other friends. It seems you also wish to have a harmonious relationship with your father. I sense both you and your father love each other despite his nonacceptance. Of course, I recommend going over the dynamics in therapy but I'll personally offer that such is a strong confident position for you.
As things go, your situation doesn't really sound bad. I'm not saying that to lessen the significance of the dissension between you and your father, but it also doesn't sound hopeless. Depending on situations, different people encounter different obstacles, some like yours.
I find with transition, one magic word is "Time" ... so many things need time and that typically means patience as well. Patience for ourselves through awkwardness, patience with others as they figure things out, and so on. You're probably doing the best you can right now but you might consider being a little more patient with your not-completely-rejecting father, and accept him as he is without compromising your values. I say this sensing there are no ultimatums to comply or "get out" for example. Perhaps that might foster a situation where it's all up to him... then he doesn't need to change to make you happy.... then it becomes about how he wants to be toward his children... and the world. Your love for him is then not dependent on who he chooses to be. Perhaps too idealistic, but I really do believe this. It's how I approach things.
Generally speaking, I've heard many stories over the years of a person taking on that kind of confidence of accepting another for who they are, where—when doing that—the person sort of simultaneously begins being more independent and stronger in a way where it doesn't matter what some other person does... i.e., you will always love your father for how he has contributed positively to your life, while finding a place where you don't need to change him... I sort of believe that sometimes—not always of course—that's the best chance to find eventual reconciliation.
Sort of ironic, but quite often it seems to avoid changing another, one seems to improve the chances of eventually seeing the desired changes in the relationship. Maybe this is because doing that, getting to a place of not trying to change others, a person gains a certain indestructible confidence in contrast to what was once fragility and codependency amidst that same relationship.
Again, this is a great subject for therapy.
