Susan's Place Logo

News:

Based on internal web log processing I show 3,417,511 Users made 5,324,115 Visits Accounting for 199,729,420 pageviews and 8.954.49 TB of data transfer for 2017, all on a little over $2,000 per month.

Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! (Updated)

Main Menu

When Does Transition End?

Started by Sophia Sage, October 23, 2016, 11:26:26 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

When Does Transition End?

After Fully Coming Out
One Year of RLE / HRT
Legal Name Change
Bottom Surgery
No More Coming Out
Never

Barb99

I think it is different for everyone. For me transition ends 11/29/2016 that's my SRS date. I will be a woman mentally and physically.

I will continue to try to improve my voice and remove a few more facial hairs but I know cis women who do these things so I just consider these things ongoing personal maintenance.

The SRS will finally make me feel complete and comfortable with my body.

Right now every morning I get out of the shower and am reminded that things just are not right. In a few more days that reminder will be gone and instead of living to transition I can just start living.
  •  

2cherry

Fore me when I had my SRS and FFS, I am physically done. Mentally/spiritually/socially is another transition, a lifelong one I think.


1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
  •  

Mariah

I would say it depends for each of us. Each of defines it differently. My social transition was complete when I went full time, but the physical transition with my SRS. However, I still have hair removal to get done on my face. Then again so do many CIS woman too so I suppose I don't really need to count the remains facial hair towards work in relation to my transition, but jut life. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
  •  

Sophia Sage

Quote from: 2cherry on November 18, 2016, 01:26:40 PMFore me when I had my SRS and FFS, I am physically done. Mentally/spiritually/socially is another transition, a lifelong one I think.

Mental, spiritual, social... for me it was several years, but no more than five.  A dear friend of mine called this "transsexing," when we've become so immersed in a woman's life that we forget... or rather, remember that we were truly always female, even if no one (not even ourselves) realized it at the time. 

According to her, and I tend to agree, this latter kind of transition depends on non-disclosure.  Disclosure implies that we have to ask for female gendering, even after all the physical work is done, and as such it isn't freely and automatically given as it is for all other women.  It's like the difference between the shallow end and the deep end of the pool -- it's still water, but the immersion of the deep end proves beyond a doubt that we can swim.

And then we can leave the pool entirely and head out to the ocean.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
  •  

DawnOday

Considering that eight months ago all I had going for me was crossdressing and a lifetime of prayers and realization I was different, I already feel I have made the most important transition. That of coming out to my family and reconciling my gender situation in my mind. When offered the opportunity for HRT I did not hesitate for one second. My brain is now functioning as it was created all those years ago.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



  •  

jentay1367

My answer wasn't in the poll. I think it ends the day I say it does. I hope it ends the day I say it does.
  •  

Michelle_P

Honestly?  Never.  I think I'll still be figuring myself out, making adjustments, completing mid-course corrections until the day I die.

It sure isn't being out to everyone (did that) or doing the name change (in progress).  Those are major steps along the way, but they certainly aren't the end.  SRS?  FFS? Well, we see people here who did those years ago, and are looking at revisions or further work to help with their issues.  So those may not be it.

Life is change.  We are in a state of transition from birth to death.  The only difference is that we have decided to take the helm and direct our transition.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
  •  

Raell

#27
I agree..you are finished transitioning when you are personally comfortable with yourself.

I don't have to transition physically, since I'm only partially transmale, only readjusting my lifestyle and self description to reflect new comprehension of my nature.

I only tell people on a need-to-know basis..people with whom I interact a great deal, and only if those people are trying to pressure me into acting more female, which is why I told my immediate family as soon as I knew, three years ago.
  •  

Sophia Sage

Quote from: jentay1367 on November 18, 2016, 09:24:14 PM
My answer wasn't in the poll. I think it ends the day I say it does. I hope it ends the day I say it does.

And what do think will lead you to say that it's over and done with?

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 19, 2016, 12:34:44 AM
Honestly?  Never.  I think I'll still be figuring myself out, making adjustments, completing mid-course corrections until the day I die.

It sure isn't being out to everyone (did that) or doing the name change (in progress).  Those are major steps along the way, but they certainly aren't the end.  SRS?  FFS? Well, we see people here who did those years ago, and are looking at revisions or further work to help with their issues.  So those may not be it.

Life is change.  We are in a state of transition from birth to death.  The only difference is that we have decided to take the helm and direct our transition.

Yes, sure, everyone in the world is in transition from birth until death, and we call this "life."

But I think it's pretty clear that the context here is gender transition.  We transition from being gendered in one way to being gendered in another.  That's the work most of are trying to accomplish, if we haven't already.

In this context, the only way transition lasts forever is if we never anticipate granting ourselves the full gendering we deserve.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
  •  

jentay1367

QuoteQuote from: jentay1367 on Yesterday at 09:24:14 pm

    My answer wasn't in the poll. I think it ends the day I say it does. I hope it ends the day I say it does.


And what do think will lead you to say that it's over and done with?

I've no idea. I hope I just know when I know. I don't want to be one of those people that is so hypercritical of the mirror and themselves that they can never leave well enough alone and finally.....  just be happy with who they are.
  •  

Michelle_P

Quote from: Sophia Sage on November 19, 2016, 08:54:00 AM
But I think it's pretty clear that the context here is gender transition.  We transition from being gendered in one way to being gendered in another.  That's the work most of are trying to accomplish, if we haven't already.

In this context, the only way transition lasts forever is if we never anticipate granting ourselves the full gendering we deserve.

OK, being gendered correctly by others would mark the end of a social transition.  In detail I would describe that as the point at which others encountering us generally gender us correctly based on our gender presentation, that is, the package of physical appearance, dress, and behavior.  The goal is to avoid triggering transphobic persons who might act against me, and socially integrate well with others of my identified gender.

I finished my internal transition when I granted myself the full gendering I deserve a while ago.  I now know who I am, and am happy within myself.  Now, that doesn't mean I don't want additional things, like SRS, FFS, or even that tracheal shave.  These address social dysphoria.  Those are for the social transition.

My legal transition is well underway, with medical letters and a nice stack of petition paperwork finally stamped, signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. I just hope the judge doesn't want to read any poetry to me.

The medical transition is still in early stages, with HRT, and discussions of possible surgeries going forward.  The surgeries will happen.  Whether they happen through my HMO, or with recent exogenous changes, involve a nice vacation overseas, remains to be seen.  Of the various procedures I am contemplating, some, such as gender reassignment surgery, are for myself, as a reassuring boost for my internal self-image and a way to make my clothing fit better.  Others, like that tracheal shave and FFS, are to aid in providing gender clues for my social transition.  These would not be necessary in a society that readily accepts a third sex, trans folks, or however one might express it.

There are many transitions I move through as part of life.  Life itself is a transition.  It's part of being a person.  We aren't rigid, immutable objects.  We change, and hopefully, we grow.

Transitionally yours
Michelle  ;D
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
  •  

Jenna Marie

I couldn't quite find an option on the poll that fit, so my apologies. I was unable to complete a legal name change until about 18 months after beginning transition because of an unrelated legal issue, for one thing. For me, I felt that transition ended when I ran out of things to do to "change," which is more or less in keeping with what you've said. (Except that that was about 2 years before GRS, for me, because I felt that that change was for me alone. By then, I'd been living as female for around 2.5 years.) Once I'd gotten all my paperwork corrected except for the name (and I did have a reasonably unisex nickname, thankfully), was living as female, had been on HRT for a while, and no longer felt that transitioning was the first priority in my life, it felt like I was done. I will still "come out" to support other trans people, but it's no longer a necessity of my life; I choose it (or not) on a case-by-case basis.

It took me about 11 months from figuring out that I needed to transition to feeling that I was finished.

  •  

Sophia Sage

Quote from: jentay1367 on November 19, 2016, 09:17:01 AMI've no idea. I hope I just know when I know. I don't want to be one of those people that is so hypercritical of the mirror and themselves that they can never leave well enough alone and finally.....  just be happy with who they are.

Here's an easy way, then:  When you no longer feel dsyphoric about your body or your social recognition.


Quote from: Michelle_P on November 19, 2016, 10:08:11 AMOK, being gendered correctly by others would mark the end of a social transition.  In detail I would describe that as the point at which others encountering us generally gender us correctly based on our gender presentation, that is, the package of physical appearance, dress, and behavior.  The goal is to avoid triggering transphobic persons who might act against me, and socially integrate well with others of my identified gender.

I finished my internal transition when I granted myself the full gendering I deserve a while ago.  I now know who I am, and am happy within myself.  Now, that doesn't mean I don't want additional things, like SRS, FFS, or even that tracheal shave.  These address social dysphoria.  Those are for the social transition...

My legal transition is well underway...

The medical transition is still in early stages...

I really like how you put all this.  Which makes sense, considering how sharp you are.

Yes, there are all kinds of compartmentalized transitions, different domains which we have to address, because gender itself is so ubiquitous.  It's really a massive category.  Breaking it down into these different parts really makes it more manageable. 

For me, it took navigating all of these domains for me to feel like transition was complete.  However, for me there was also an additional component to the social transition, namely that it got to the point where I no longer had to "come out" because I was finally being gendered the way I needed and coming out would have been counterproductive.  And it was having sex, without disclosing my medical history, that proved it to me. 

(Funny thing about that, by the way.  After we were done, my lover that night -- ten years younger than me, bless -- asked if I was a virgin.  "No," I lied.)

Anyways, I'm not sure I can say that I fully transitioned internally until that moment.  Mostly, yes, because it takes an internal transition just to begin this process in the first place.  Rather, there were still moments when I misgendered myself -- automatically, subconsciously.  Which had a lot to do with my embodiment.  Like, whether I was going to have sex or not, I had to have SRS just to alleviate my dysphoria, which was coming from me and no one else.  I had to have FSRS so I wouldn't misgender myself when looking in the mirror, even though I was getting properly gendered from others before facial surgery. 

My conscious mind was always completely on board, but my subconscious, ewww, sometimes it did a number on me.  Which makes sense, given that dsyphoria is an emotional response, and emotions are generated by the subconscious, preceding conscious thought.

Transsexing, now, that was a different matter entirely.

QuoteOf the various procedures I am contemplating, some, such as gender reassignment surgery, are for myself, as a reassuring boost for my internal self-image and a way to make my clothing fit better.  Others, like that tracheal shave and FFS, are to aid in providing gender clues for my social transition.  These would not be necessary in a society that readily accepts a third sex, trans folks, or however one might express it.

I think SRS, FSRS, and hell electrolysis and voice work for that matter, function both internally and socially.  Our bodies mediate our internal processes with others; of course changing the body is going to change both spheres.

I disagree, however, that addressing our publicly expressed embodiment (everything but SRS, basically) wouldn't be necessary in an accepting society... unless your internal identity isn't binary.  My identity is most assuredly binary, and considering that gender is initially constructed from embodiment, before we get to cultural values and social roles and what not, I think binary gender dysphoria is always going to have to address external public embodiment. 

Because we first assign gender instantly and automatically from material embodiment, much in the same way we can instantly distinguish cats from dogs, or tables from chairs.

Categorically yours,
Sophia ;)
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
  •