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(Venting) A guy who knew me before hormones said I still look the same to him.

Started by Angélique LaCava, November 18, 2016, 12:11:04 PM

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Angélique LaCava

He was my coworker at one time and I was living as female.... it's been 2 years since I saw him and 1 year since starting hormones and today I saw him someplace and we talked and I told him that Im on hormones now and he said "really? you still look the same so you must have just started.". I feel like hormones arnt working now....
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Annarko

Well, not having seen you before I don't have anything to compare, but you are absolutely Stunning! I only hope I can look as nice as you do once I've started hrt.
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KayXo

People who knew us from before don't perceive us as we really are because first impressions last and override reality. This goes for yourself too. Notice instead how strangers react to you, female or male? That says it all. Also, look at a picture from before HRT and now. Compare.

He might also be biased and have some prejudices so that's why he said this. He might be right but double check with strangers and pics. This will be the real test.

Oh and last thing, you might take what he said as a compliment as in..."oh, that means I looked female even before HRT! Wow. Thanks. :)"
I am not a medical doctor, nor a scientist - opinions expressed by me on the subject of HRT are merely based on my own review of some of the scientific literature over the last decade or so, on anecdotal evidence from women in various discussion forums that I have come across, and my personal experience

On HRT since early 2004
Post-op since late 2005
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2cherry

He's a true b...., trust me. No-one would say that. From now on, take everything he says with a grain of salt. Or even ignore it.


1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
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Artesia

I believe in the metaphysical, so it could be that he always perceived you as your spirit had you, the lovely lady that you are.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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Amy Chislett

Angelique, I have trouble believing you were born male, as I presume.
HrbHRT 21Jun2016
mtf hetero
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Amy Chislett

HrbHRT 21Jun2016
mtf hetero
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warlockmaker

Just because you are on HRT does not mean your eyes and the essence of you will change and become unrecognizable. It does not mean you cannot be recognized. I look at my sisters and they bear a strong resemblence to me and today after almost 4 years on hormones and post op I still see the old me but wow I do look now like my sisters.

I think its good that a friend sees the old you, you must have made a strong impression. Be positive, from your avitar I see female, its the strangers that count. Our friends dont want to lose the old you, so they look for it and find whats left and cling on to that.
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015
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jentay1367

Sounds like some passive aggressive nonsense to me. I knew a guy once who thought it was great fun to screw with girls by saying things like, "its hard to look as good as you do carrying that much weight" or "usually, a girl doesn't look as good as you do when their skin's as bad as yours" and other crap like that. He got great kicks from breaking them down. Reeeeaaaal ->-bleeped-<-. Don't feed the trolls. He has an ulterior motive and he knows he's renting space in your head. If you see him again, turn the tables on him..... mention that your concerned for his health since he looked so much better just a short time ago. Life is short, have some fun!
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Lady Sarah

I had an encounter more exaggerated than that. While using dating sites, I came across a guy I graduated high school with, 30 years prior. He sad I looked exactly like I did when I was in high school. Maybe these guys need glasses, and do not know it yet.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016
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Alora

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on November 18, 2016, 12:11:04 PM
He was my coworker at one time and I was living as female.... it's been 2 years since I saw him and 1 year since starting hormones and today I saw him someplace and we talked and I told him that Im on hormones now and he said "really? you still look the same so you must have just started.". I feel like hormones arnt working now....

I just want to say that guy's a jerk. Honey your gorgeous, and quite frankly I'm a little jelly of you. 😉 I hope I look half has hot as you at some point.

Loves ya 💋❤️💋
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Sophia Sage

Yet another good reason to pack your bags and start over in a new city once transition is done -- or even to find a temporary place to work and live while you finish up.

There are very few relationships and acquaintances from my past that didn't become toxic, eventually -- because, as the lovely KayXo points out:

Quote from: KayXo on November 18, 2016, 12:16:53 PMPeople who knew us from before don't perceive us as we really are because first impressions last and override reality...

He might also be biased and have some prejudices so that's why he said this...

Truth.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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Jess2Impress

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on November 18, 2016, 12:11:04 PM
He was my coworker at one time and I was living as female.... it's been 2 years since I saw him and 1 year since starting hormones and today I saw him someplace and we talked and I told him that Im on hormones now and he said "really? you still look the same so you must have just started.". I feel like hormones arnt working now....

Assuming your coworker had a full and complete understanding of the effects of hormones?? Which I highly doubt by the way..

Always trust your perception.. but give yourself time after an il-informed comment before you make up your mind :) Check back in tomorrow after you've looked back in the mirror and reminded yourself how fantastic you are  ;)
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Drexy/Drex

Everything
  Louder
   Than
Everything
    Else
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Debra

so annoying when people say that.

We are trying to so hard to make a huge change....when it's not reflected or seen, it's frustrating.

I know my parents probably feel the same about me after 7 years of HRT and countless surgeries. They see what they want to see.

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