For so long I thought I was the deviant outsider who had a weird problem. That lasted for a long time because of the times and the lack of information. As I go over more posts from average people who have just about the same core issue of gender dislocation I'm some what relieved that I wasn't the evil deviant that I thought I was , but just some one dealing with something that a lot of others were dealing with. I personally find it quite interesting.

Me Too. I alway thought I was somehow less of a husband and when the kids came I was so scared the police or someone would find out and take them away.  I shut down and everyone had a problem with me because of the shell I built around me. I became a druggy. Thanks President Reagan. I've never been open about much of anything. My social skills have always been stunted. I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin, only because I came clean after all these years of beating around the bushes. I don't feel the hate I once carried with me. I can finally forgive myself because I know now I am not alone.

That was my experience, too.  I knew of the existence of "transsexuals", but I thought they were rare, like maybe a couple of dozen in the world.  That's how I managed to talk myself out of knowing that I was trans: there was no way I could be that weird, could I? 

Encountering my first real transgender person and realizing that she was just a normal person carrying on a normal career was a real eye-opener.  That, and the Caitlyn Jenner effect, opened my eyes enough for me to start investigating. 

And yes, I was surprised at how many of us there are.  I would never in a million years have guessed that I could sit in a crowded room full of trans folks, all just from one small city.

I am also surprised at how many of us are only figuring it all out in late middle age or senior years.  I would never have guessed that either.

I think one of the problems for us oldies but goodies was the strict binary view of the 50s

Quote from: KathyLauren on November 20, 2016, 04:54:12 PM

I am also surprised at how many of us are only figuring it all out in late middle age or senior years.  I would never have guessed that either.

I'm not really surprised that there are so many of us "late bloomers".  I can't count how many times I've thought "if I had the internet when I  was a teenager I would have transitioned years ago" . 

Also a lot more awareness of others aside from the internet than 30+ years ago, and even 20 years ago.

The late bloomers will still be out there in 20 years time, but I think fewer of them.

I knew I was "Different" since the age of 4. I twice in my early 20's experimented with transitioning. Both times utter fails. All the while I lived and worked in the shadow of NYC.. For all my life never daring, plus this was the 70's-80's, to "Reach Out". What little existed before the internet was pretty seedy, to say the least. I wanted NO part of that crowd.

Almost 8 years ago while living in rural West Virginia I was totally floored attending my first ever TG support group meeting. I was totally surprised by how almost everyone packed into that living room had almost the same feelings and life story I did.

In talking with a friend tonight who has helped dozens of transwomen find their way, she made similar comments.  Almost all of us share similar events growing up, similar behaviors and issues from repression, and somewhat similar events leading up to out coming out.

(Fun dinner.  Four of us, and a nice ciswoman who has almost finished classes and training for becoming a therapist.  We'll get her trained right...)

Honestly, there were many indicators that I didn't pay much attention to. I seemed a bit more interested in transgender issues than most people, but under the guise of wanting to learn more about what it's like to be transgender. After all of that, I came to realize that every story I read or watched was my story and that there isn't anything to be ashamed of. I began looking up to those who transitioned before me as those brave enough to withstand the scrutiny of the public eye. It isn't easy for me now, but I think of how much more difficult it would have been before there was a wider acceptance of us in society and I'm thankful for all of those who were successful and for those who withstood the struggles and even those who were killed because of who they were. I love all of you beautiful people. Without this community, I wouldn't have made the progress I've made in the past few months.