I try to find humor in just about everything as it keeps me sane. Some is salty some not so much. So for Susans I suggest staying on the Jim Gaffigan side of humor. But here is what I pose to you ladies and gents. Pull out of hiding some of your favorite "clean" jokes and lets share. no smut, curse words.

The farmer was out in his field when a stranger approached. "I noticed you had some honeysuckle growing back there and I was wondering if I could perhaps have some". Not thinking there was any danger the farmer said "sure". Minutes later the stranger returned with honey all over his lips. "Sir, I saw some milkweed, may I try some of that? The farmer seeing no harm in that, said. "sure". Minutes later the stranger returned, with a milk moustache and milk on the front of his shirt. The farmer was so impressed that when the stranger said he saw some "pussy willows" the farmer said. Let me finish up what I am doing right now and I'll go with you.

  this is a joke i heard years and could not remember exactly. instead of filling in the gaps i cheated and found it online.


  A traveling salesman trying to make a buck was driving through the plains of Nebraska when he decided to stop at a farmhouse coming up on his left.
As he was walking up the driveway toward the front door of the house, a pig with three legs caught his eye. It was just hobbling through the grass.
When the farmer answered the door and asked what he was selling, the salesman first asked about the three legged pig.
"That pig is the most amazing pig in the land, son." The farmer said
"Last year, our house caught fire when we were all asleep and that pig ran in and woke us all up one by one and saved our lives!"
The salesman was surprised. "That is one special pig" He said.
The Farmer replied, "That's not all. Last summer, that pig jumped into the pond and dragged my drowning son to safety. He would have died."
The salesman was in disbelief as to how incredible this pig was. "One question. Why does he have 3 legs, is it from the fire?" He asked
"No son, ya see, a pig like that you just don't eat all at one time."

Oley and Lena are unable to talk openly about sex and use code words to get their message across.  They have used "washing machine" for sexual intercourse for a long time.  Oley has the urge and approaches Lena with the usual entreaties and beseeches her for clean clothes.  She says she is tired and Oley takes measures into his hand with hard bar soap.  Feeling guilty, Lena reconsiders and suggests "washing machine" to Oley.  He thinks for a moment and replies, thanks Lena but it was a small load and i did it by hand.