Hi there! I'm Nicola or Nikki, whichever suits you!

I'm 30 and from the UK. I need help and a little direction plus I hope I'm in the right place.

As many of you may have experienced, I'm at a point in my life where I have literally lost everything because of who I am and want to be.

I'm at square one, the point where everything adds and builds up to the epiphany that you need to change. I've always known that I wasn't supposed to be a bloke. Socially didn't fit in with guys and always spent time with girls. I've always been in awe of why I didn't change at puberty and get breasts and be like my friends.

Fast forward a few years and things are still the same, except I've lost my home, job, car, family and I think it's time that I started being who I should be. So if anyone can help point me in the right direction, give me tips on how to survive I'll be eternally grateful.

I do have an appointment with my nearest gender clinic but it's not for another 18 months and I keep changing my GP (physician) because I'm not getting anywhere with them.

I hope out there that someone can reply and let me know if I'm on the right track.


Love and admiration to all of you.

Nic.

I in the US so I don't know how your system works. Good luck and work on the non medical aspects.

Hi Nikki, I'm a thirties (still just) UK girl in Bedfordshire. I managed to find a great therapist who has supported me through my ongoing journey. Your GP might be able to provide some general counselling/therapy, or if you're in a position to, you can go private and work directly with one. I'm in the GIC mincer currently, as are others here. Happy to answer any questions 😊.
If you're having troubles finding a supportive GP, you might find one here: http://transfigurations.org.uk/trans-friendly-doctors/

If you're not already and you can find one locally, attending a trans* support group can also be a great place for support and maybe getting answers to questions.

Welcome to Susan's Place. Something that exist in the UK is called Bridging. Bridging is private treatment that you can use until you are accepted into the government treatment program. People often start HRT and may be living full time before they ever have their first appointment in the government program. If you properly document your previous actions, it will be taken into account when you are in the government program and it will speed your trip while in the government system. You will pay out of pocket while in bridging but the government will pay your surgical costs which is a sizable portion of the total.

You may also chose to wait until you enter the government program which is your option. Often people have a few things to clear up before they start their transition. in either case, continue learning about yourself here and enjoy the site.

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Your GP may offer bridging via the NHS, but it's rare (many refuse due to lack of knowledge), my own GP has been very supportive, but won't do this. I used the http://www.gendergp.co.uk service to access safely monitored HRT at a reasonable cost privately.

Hi Nikki 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Thank you all kindly for your responses.

It has to be said I'm in no financial position to start anything as I'm couch hopping again. I think my main issue is how did you lovely people cope initially, I mean starting your journey. And is it always this hard?

I suppose i'm lucky that I have a blank canvas so to speak. But where do I start? I mean I have very few clothes, just some jeans, a few tops, underwear, mascara and a wig.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across a bit of an arse, I'm just desperate.

Everybody has their own issues to deal with but I admit yours may be a bit more difficult. It depends on where you want to start. It sounds like you have enough to present if you want. If you need more information, we have the voice and beauty section where you can learn more with little or no cost. You might be able to connect with a local LGBT group where other may be able to help you get in the public.

What you need to do is break your path into small task and start dealing with them. The ones you can afford now work on and the ones that cost money, delay them until you are ready.

The real question is what do you need help with.