The holidays have always been a real bummer for me. The last couple of days it's been really quite around the house and I've been in a real slump. I look at all the posts about people's successes with surgery, their photos and how they haven't even started HRT and they're already pretty passable. Then I look in the mirror and I just feel so down on myself. I wonder if I'll ever get there. Sometimes, one day at a time really sucks!

😔😔😔

agreed


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Like dating, some of us put our best foot forward and imagine the best till we get close enough to feel we're real.  Hang in there, these too obligatory holidays are often more hype than holy goodness;)  The Solstice and promise of brighter days in this hemisphere are less than a month away

I think holiday depression is a big thing across all people, not just us.  We just get the extra kick from the social dysphoria, being considered outcasts, taboo, the ones our transphobic society considers unpersons.  Add in the personal bummers of not being where we want to be in our journey, and we may not be happy campers at all.

But, remember that those folks on HRT, or getting their surgeries, or otherwise appearing to be well along on their journeys, were once back at the starting line, trying to get going, and worrying about if they'd ever pass, if they'd ever get HRT, and so on.

Look at this poor schmuck, back in April, for example.  He was a depressed dysphoric suicidal sad sack, who got better and finally figured out what she really was, and how she had to proceed.   She finally got moving, and she's doing much better now.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,207126.msg1840165.html#msg1840165

Hang in there, hang out here with us, and try to hold in mind the best of what could be, your best of all possible worlds.  You'll find a path to that outcome, set foot on it, and life will be better.

Tell use what you need and we will give you a good shove to get you moving. Once upon a time many, many years ago my therapist told me I was to masculine to be a woman. Fortunately I was in to much misery to pay much attention to him and I went out and did what he thought I couldn't. From that day it was a bit over 3 years going from completely male without a clue what to do to surgery. With the help of the site, that time could be less for you. Yes you are in a bad spot right now, but you have already made several steps forward and are beyond where you were a few months ago. It can only get better.

You take one baby step at a time, and in time you notice that you are winning the 100 yard dash. Even thinking about doing something about being trans is daunting. You already took that big scary first step. Then another step by being here on Susan's. You should feel proud of yourself for being so brave. For every one of us here I have little doubt there are many more too afraid to do as much as you have already.

This past week has been a big bummer for me too. Probably the follow-through of the funk I was in leading up to and for weeks after my big 6-0, the first time ever a bday got me down. I try to fight the feelings that my life has past me by. The days of me living, even part time, as female are just a memory and no longer will be again some day soon. Too many other bigger things in life are on top of the priority list.

I cry, I eat too much, I drink too much, I have no motivation about the future. Yet, but for a dream, I keep up on my HRT. I go to my support group meetings, I still see my therapist. I still tread water. The absolute last thing I want to do is slip backwards even more to that scared, angry, lifeless, soulless thing I used to be

Quote from: Dena on November 26, 2016, 09:56:41 PM
Tell use what you need and we will give you a good shove to get you moving.

I need someone that is going to keep me accountable to working out and doing my vocal training until they become habit. That's what I really need right now.

Loves 💋❤️💋

Quote from: Alora on November 27, 2016, 07:04:34 PM
I need someone that is going to keep me accountable to working out and doing my vocal training until they become habit. That's what I really need right now.

Loves 💋❤️💋

I am willing to work with anybody on voice. I have made that offer in the voice forum and it still stands. I have Skype and theoretically face time though I haven't used it much for live conversations. Just realize that my avatar is about 30 years ago so I have aged a bit. The one issue is you need to make the time available. My schedule is pretty flexible but I don't wish to intrude into your life.

Hey girl,

*Hugs*

It's going to be okay!

Like the other girls have said, you've already achieved so much! You're being so brave by facing this with everything you've got. While it may seem you've got so much left ahead of you, it's important that you also celebrate the little wins along the way. After all, isn't this journey just a whole lot of little wins that add up to a big win?

Remember, we're always here.

Much love,
Karlee <3