Hey all!
Names Liez
Quick recent history that has brought me to this point... I am a year separated from my husband. No we didn't separate because of gender issues but after we separated and I looked back at what a horrible marriage we had and the things I learned about myself, it made it a lot easier for me to now finally take this path seriously. He was an angry horrible person that had the whole family walking on ice and it took the extreme of his anger and how nasty he is being during this divorce to push me to the point where I suddenly don't give a ->-bleeped-<- what he (and in realization anyone) thinks of what i do or who i really am. It was INVIGORATING!!! I had cracked my wall and now I am letting it crumble and am figuring out what really makes me ME. I am 43 so it has taken a LONG time to find that catalyst. I don't care to know him anymore but I am glad of all the people I have met through him and I feel i do have to thank him for helping me get to this point. I only wish something like this could have happened a lot sooner in my life and that it didn't take such a negative soul to bring it out. Well I can't sit regretting the time i've lost so I look forward and am now pulling me out of the shell the world has gotten to know.
It's a slow process because I am not completely sure where i stand exactly on my gender due to so many years of supressing it. It's confusing, but as I start to take steps in making myself more comfortable I find I feel like a kid in a candy store. Or more like I'm going through puberty all over again. I guess you could say i'm FtM, though at this point in time I lean more towards gender fluidy as I gather my thoughts about it. I have a lot to consider because I have a 5 year old that I need to consider. No i don't plan to let having a child stop me from being me, but i do want to figure out how to make this as easy on her as I can as me and my family take this walk.
I have been doing a LOT of online reading and research to answer questions and have come across many forums, though I have to say this one seems the most responsive and its nice to see a place people can talk and actually get replies to their queries. There is a Canadian transgender site but it is not very active so i have widened my territory of research.
I hope you all had a great weekend and I look forward to getting to know anyone X)
