I'm currently presenting male 90% of the time, but that's going to change soon since the "E" is starting to have it's affects.  Here's the issue, I've never been bothered with male pronouns or my birth name.  I've grown up with them and think that anything else is flattery but unnecessary.

However today I had two experiences that surprised me.
1) I got mam'd at a store today and it felt good/right.
2) Someone who rarely calls (work related) started with "Hey D...." (birth name) and that actually for the first time made me sad and/or uncomfortable.

I've told people that I don't really care what pronouns are used to refer to me, but now I'm starting to have second thoughts about that.  Maybe I'm becoming more comfortable in Denise's skin.

Has anyone else experienced this and if so, does it get worse and I need to tell people that I would prefer female pronouns?

Quote from: Denise on November 29, 2016, 08:07:02 PM
I got mam'd at a store today and it felt good/right.

  i have most certainly never been ma'amd. just wanted to say congratulation!

  i too feel pronouns and a few others do not matter, but with my new found acceptance. can see how these things may change.

Denise , I can totally relate to what your saying. I'm in a similar situation although I not on hrt yet ( hoping that changes soon ). My given name has never really bothered me also. I even talked with my therapist about it as I thought it a little unusual. She told me to not stress about it. It's the name I've been accustomed to for 50 plus years , it's been my reality , sort of an "is what it is" type of thing. I will say I really like being referred to by my chosen female name when I'm presenting as the real me and being "mam"d and having men hold doors open and the like, for me just feels so right and like you being sired and dude ect. ect. is starting to wear a little thin. But my reality is I have a job I could never transition in and it pays me well. Until I'm able to find a solution to my employment situation and am stuck having to be in guy mode 95% of the time I've gotten pretty good at tuning out the male references and such. Can't expect people to get it right when I'm hiding in plain site so to speak. I will amend what I've said that if your presenting as your true self you definitely have the right to expect people to use the right name and pronouns and to correct them if needed. I guess my advice is try not to let it get you down cause better days are on your horizon. Jessica.

Lily - Thanks, as expected I'm not alone.

Jessica - It's not something that's getting me down, it's more of a "it doesn't fit anymore" type of situation.  The strange part is, using Denise, although is nice, doesn't seem to fit (fake?) after 50 years either.  I Guess that's why I'll be going with "Dee" or "Dee-Dee"  (My given initials are D.D.B.) so that won't feel as strange.  It might be a cop-out but if it helps with transition, I'm all for it.

I'm 49. I feel the same way.

Yes I said I wasn't too fussy about it initially, but to the guy in my office who keeps calling me Sir,
"Really? Look at me. Do I look like a Sir?"

Hi Denise,
I guess I have never liked my given name since I was a kid
(although people didn't know why I didn't like it)

Once people started calling me Kath and mam, then I really
started getting very uncomfortable if someone called me sir
or hearing my birth name. I even find myself hating to sign
my name. You are likely just getting used to being treated
as a women and now that it is happening, you are probably
only going to want it more.

Kath, thanks, I think you're on the money with that. 

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