Hey everyone, I'm hoping for a bit of advice. I'm not fully 'out' yet about being trans, although family and close friends know.

I've been given a tentative job offer and I'm wondering what to do about my name. I've also got a 6 month probation period to get through at a government job, which means more protections for being trans down the road.

I've worked in my profession for many years and people know me by my female nickname and legal last name. I applied for the job with my legal given name, which is also very feminine. I've been introducing myself to new people the last 6 months or so with a gender neutral version of my female nickname, and wondering if I can introduce myself and get my e-mail, business cards, etc with the neutral name... or just go as is with the female nickname everyone knows me by, and wait till I'm through the six month probation period to come out with the gender neutral nickname.

I won't start T and do a full legal name change (including the gender neutral nickname) till I'm through probation, I don't think. This job means relocating to a different city, and there will be e-mails announcing me to our profession in my province and I will work with the public a lot, some folks I know and other industry folks that I don't know. I'm just thinking it would be strange to go through another round of introductions and more questions in six months' time. I am probably changing my last name too when I go through the name change, for various reasons.

Will it raise too many questions about why I want the other nickname right now? Does it matter? Am I overthinking this? I probably am.

I would just go with the gender neutral nickname from the start. It is less confusing for people. Not sure if they will let you do your email/business cards with a nickname, but it's worth a shot. I would definitely have everyone referring to me with a neutral nickname though.

I don't think anyone will question it. Typically when you're going through the hiring process you're whatever the full formal version of your name is, and then when you're there and settling in it isn't uncommon for people to announce that they prefer to be called "XYZ" instead.

Cheers, appreciate your thoughts!   No one knows me by my legal name at work (even my old work emails have my nickname as first name), which often creates fun in past jobs since they know me by the nickname, with payroll and other bureaucracy. I agree it would be easier to get everyone (and hoping work email and cards etc) to have the neutral nickname too. In the application, I went with mt legal name. In person, they went with the usual nickname. I also have people I used to work with at another company now working for the government, so they know me by old nickname... and others probably know my old name to say it, lol.

I'd feel more comfortable though having the neutral name at this point, especially given that I'm going to be reviewing/advising on projects over the long term (i.e. months and years), so I'd like to start officially like this, as long as it isn't seen as 'too strange' during the probationary period. It's a long one as far as I know, with the government, so I don't want to do any full transition stuff until I'm out of that. I feel like I'm in a marathon, lol.