So I have questioned my gender since I was probably about 10. I am MAAB but have never posted here before. I have been following for a while as a guest. For about the last six months it's felt like part of me has been trying to claw its way out of me. I have scheduled a therapy session hoping to find somebody kind to help me. I have never been good about letting people in. Should I have things in specific to try and talk about at this first session? I find that I have always been shy talking about myself.
Thank you for the safe place to talk.


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First, I'd just like to say"Hi!", and give you an unofficial welcome here.  One of the moderators will be along soon to give you some starting info on the site.  This is a great place to help you in getting started with your therapy, and with any other issues that might come along.  Friendly and helpful support here!

Scheduling that therapy session is the right move.  In your first session, the therapist will guide you a bit to tell them about yourself and what issues you might have.  Definitely tell them about that sensation, of "part of me has been trying to claw it's way out of me".  Let them know you are questioning your gender.  They should ask additional questions about that, and guide you in clarifying just what is going on.

Just try to relax and talk about what is bothering you.  Therapists are non-judgmental folks there to help you help yourself.

Good luck, and I hope your first session is productive for you.


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Hi juris and welcome. I had my first therapy session in January this year and I was very nervous as I've never seen a therapist or even a gender therapist before. I also decided to show up in girl mode which was in retrospect a great decision. I was able to talk as the real me and it was a huge relief. I've seen her many time since that day and I always  look  forward to the next session especially in the beginning as it was the only time I could be me and talk freely about my issues.

The decision to start therapy has most likely saved my life as it became unbearable to live with it hidden deep down in the darkest dark of my brain.

I wish you all the best and feel free to PM any time. Keep us posted how it goes.

Big hugs
Jessica


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+1 for all that Michelle said

I'll also add in that that you are seeing this person for HELP. And that requires YOU to sort of push you personal limits some and trust them. Which you do not need to too much on the first session. This is usually a "Getting to Know You" first date in which you both get vibes about the other.

If they say things that bother you or creep you out.... perhaps check here for a sanity check before seeking out another therapist. Also to factor in is how experienced with real life trans clients are they? Depending on where you live, it may be little to none beyond what I've seen in the Psychology Today doc find "I once had a class where it was mentioned so I checked off the box".

If you are in the boonies, just finding a trans friendly therapist is a big plus. If you are also totally unsure of who you are or where on the trans spectrum you may be.... you may not be the best person to "Educate" this therapist. Unless, in the boonies you have no choices

When I realized I needed to take on the Trans-Beast for real I was in rural West Virginia, AKA HillBilly country. The nearest TG support group was some 90 miles away. DC or Pittsburgh was another hour plus drive. The best therapy I have ever recieved was from the angels in the support group

Welcome to Susan's Place. The therapist is there to help you however stage fright is pretty common. The therapist is there to help you so feel free to speak about what's on your mind. If you feel you might freeze, write up what you would like to say to the therapist and you can read from it or hand it to the therapist if you are uncomfortable speaking. Most of the time by the end of the first session, you will lose much of the fear and be able to talk freely. To help you, I am giving you a link to "the transition channel" so you might get a feel for some of the subjects that you will be talking about.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

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Thank you for your concern Joanne. I was able to find a provider that was listed on WPATH. In fact one reason why she was unable to see me until next week aside from my finals schedule was that she was attending a WPATH conference. So hopefully she can spend more time helping me sort my feelings and less time learning together.


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Well finished up with my first session.  Far more welcoming and inviting than I expected and I found myself sharing parts of myself that close friends rarely ever get to see. I walked out of the office a little shaken at how much I opened up.


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Congratulations! First time is the hardest. I'm now looking forward to my appointments.


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Absolutely have a plan. Get to the point and don't beat around the bush. The rush of getting your story out and the weight it carries on your shoulders will seem to disappear once you leave the office. Go into the weeds with them the deeper the better. It is the most amazing cathartic thing I have ever done. It made it so much easier to tell the ones I love because I came out of the appointment knowing I was not alone, I was not mentally ill, and I was suddenly hopeful for a future. Good luck

Dawn