The worst part about being ftm is that I have these horrible female parts I don't want and never asked for. And it's like they know that. I've had PCOS before transitioning and ruptured cysts to boot. This week I was in horrible pain, kind of like menstrual cycle cramping but worse, and thought I had another ruptured cyst. So tonight I finally got up the courage, the pain was that bad, to go to the er. The doctor and nurses were all super nice and understanding but it didn't ease my anxiety and dysphoria when being poked and prodded in the worst place possible (not to mention the physical pain involved). After all was said and done it turns out the cyst wasn't that big and hadn't ruptured and was even on the other side than I was experiencing the pain. But have no fear, the doc totally freaked me out when she said, "your cervix looks misaligned. You might want to get a cancer screening. It's probably nothing and we can't do it here but it's best to rule that out." What?! So now more poking and prodding... I just want the dang things out but my endo doesn't feel it's best to do yet. I call bull. I think my body calls bull. Ugh, so frustrated!

Are you open to having stuff removed? I can't remember if that's something you were interested in or not. But if it's a health concern, it may be for the best that stuff comes out. I didn't think I'd feel much different post-hysto, but it's made a world of difference in terms of both pain and anxiety about all the things you mentioned.

steel86man how old are you? That makes a big difference to most drs when deciding if you can get everything removed.  I know you go through such bad pain every month with PCOS and now the dr mentioned you could have problem with your cervix as well.  Sounds like you need to ask about getting all the parts removed.

Quote from: FTMax on December 15, 2016, 09:02:05 AM
Are you open to having stuff removed? I can't remember if that's something you were interested in or not. But if it's a health concern, it may be for the best that stuff comes out. I didn't think I'd feel much different post-hysto, but it's made a world of difference in terms of both pain and anxiety about all the things you mentioned.

I'm definitely open to having things removed. I feel like it would make a huge difference, like you said, emotionally and physically. I can remember the first time I got my period it was horrible, the physical pain and the trauma of it all. I couldn't stop sobbing because I hurt so bad and even though we had just learned about sexual health in school (they called it family life in our conservative town) I couldn't help but feel like it wasn't right. At that time I didn't have the words for how I felt, being trans, but I knew it wasn't supposed to happen.

Thanks, btw, for your input. I always appreciate your response.

Quote from: mm on December 15, 2016, 10:15:47 AM
steel86man how old are you? That makes a big difference to most drs when deciding if you can get everything removed.  I know you go through such bad pain every month with PCOS and now the dr mentioned you could have problem with your cervix as well.  Sounds like you need to ask about getting all the parts removed.

I'm 25. Thanks for understanding. I think I might send a message to my endo or at least my primary doc. Like you said, its monthly pain, even though I'm not getting my period anymore.

Sorry to always whine on here folks. I'd like to be more supportive and responsive to others as well. Plus, share more positive news about my transition. It seems things have just been more rocky as of late :-/.

No worries, it i what this place is for. Whine all you need to. All of us need to from time to time. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: steel86man on December 15, 2016, 11:13:08 AM
Sorry to always whine on here folks. I'd like to be more supportive and responsive to others as well. Plus, share more positive news about my transition. It seems things have just been more rocky as of late :-/.

There is a Facebook group for guys who had hystos or are looking for info called FTM Hysterectomy. Quite a few folks in there, I'm sure someone would be able to help you find someone nearby that could perform one on you. If you're not on FB or want to keep FB separate from trans stuff, you can PM me or post here vaguely where you're located and I'd be happy to ask for you. What you would most likely need is a referral from your doctor for it, though it may not be necessary with the right surgeon. Mine didn't need a WPATH letter, but some ask for one because it could be considered a bottom surgery procedure.

Quote from: FTMax on December 15, 2016, 12:21:10 PM
There is a Facebook group for guys who had hystos or are looking for info called FTM Hysterectomy. Quite a few folks in there, I'm sure someone would be able to help you find someone nearby that could perform one on you. If you're not on FB or want to keep FB separate from trans stuff, you can PM me or post here vaguely where you're located and I'd be happy to ask for you. What you would most likely need is a referral from your doctor for it, though it may not be necessary with the right surgeon. Mine didn't need a WPATH letter, but some ask for one because it could be considered a bottom surgery procedure.

Thank you, I didn't know you didn't always need a WPATH letter. I will check out the FB group as well.