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I have had my FFS...

Started by 2cherry, November 11, 2016, 12:11:44 PM

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2cherry

My personal difficulty rating based upon pain and discomfort combined:

Tooth pulled: 2/10
Drilling in a tooth: 3/10
Catheter pulled: 3/10
SRS surgery: 6/10
Bladder spasms: 7/10 (supposed to be one of the worst physical pains, feels like being stabbed)
FFS: 9/10
Vestibular Neuronitis: 10/10 (infected nerve of the inner ear)

Truly, this severe case of vestibular neuronitis nearly did me in, back in 2012. 24/7 vertigo and vomiting, and I nearly died from dehydration, it lasted 3 weeks and could not even walk. Had to lay still in bed all day. Even with my eyes closed the vertigo would go on. My eyes were rolling uncontrollably. My only escape was sleep. Truly frightening. I still cry when I even think about it. And have great compassion to those who suffer from it. I almost killed myself because of it. Like van Gogh, I was ready to cut of my ear! After 3 weeks I had to learn to walk again.

I do regard FFS the most taxing experience of my transition. If you never had surgery to your face, you can't even imagine. I could not. Now I know. It's mostly discomfort after the first week. But it's very, very, very exhausting. I had only two days of pain, but they were intense. As if someone had run over my head with a monster truck type of feeling.

As said before, I've been taking stock of my life the last few weeks...

I think I decided on a few things. It is time to burn bridges. In 2017 I am getting a new e-mail address, and thereby cutting ties with all those people who never contact me anyway. So why have it... why have them in my life, if they never visit, never call, and never send me an e-mail. Oh, yes they do send an e-mail when they want something from me. Not anymore.

Over and out. Now it's my time to live, for myself.





1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
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Sophia Sage

Quote from: 2cherry on December 16, 2016, 05:43:29 PMVestibular Neuronitis: 10/10 (infected nerve of the inner ear)

Oooh, I forgot about the searing stabby pain of the inner ear enervation.  Yeah, that's intolerable.

QuoteI think I decided on a few things. It is time to burn bridges.

Mmm hmm.  *nods sagely*

I was extremely lucky -- my immediate family was so invested in me, they transitioned too; they gender me impeccably.  Everyone else though, is no longer a part of my life, including previous friends, colleagues and coworkers, acquaintances, you name it.  This has turned out to be a great blessing.  For that is what gave me the opportunity to really move on to a post-transition life. 

Or perhaps a post-trans life.

I still think this is the most controversial subject in the community. 

It's a very different experience, living a woman's life without a trans narrative. And if it's at all possible, I think we owe ourselves to at least see what it's like.  Sure, I was nervous about it at first, but after a year or two it became second nature, or rather first nature, and I went a good four or five years without having to talk about the subject at all. Which also took another bridge -- not one to burn down, but one to leave behind. Which was the trans community itself. I stopped going to therapists, and support groups, and internet boards.  And in the meantime, I made new friends and lovers, got into a long-term relationship, found new work, and no one said anything.  Eventually, there came days where I didn't even think of it.

What glorious days those were.  It's amazing how the banality of everyday living can be simultaneously divine.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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2cherry

Yes, I think I will go stealth in 2017. I just cannot be bothered with it anymore. I won't let it define me any longer. Once you tell people, they act differently. If you don't tell, and they find out, you're suddenly a liar. i.e. they still see you as a man who became a woman. No matter what you do. Being trans is a huge conundrum.

Dating is another issue. Let's say I go to a dating site:

If I tell:  I might attract ->-bleeped-<-s. I might also run into possible haters and lure me into their hate crime.

If I don't tell:
and he finds out, I will either be accused of lying or even murdered.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I did go on a dating site before. I tried the two scenarios: tell and don't tell. When I did not tell, I had plenty of matches. When I did tell, I got zero matches. But I got a dozen messages like: It's good you told me before, I admire your honesty, blah blah... ergo: tell, and you're suddenly a guy who acts like a woman. it's impossible to escape.

It's so tough! So much so, that I decided not to date anymore. Because this gap cannot be bridged. I am disappointed in people. And I think it cannot be fixed. the SRS and FFS can make me passable to a high degree, but it will never provide me with the full life of an ordinary woman. I don't believe in it anymore... I am tall, still have signs of a male body. I cannot erase it all. Too much Testosterone ravage. Too late, too late.... Maybe I have hit the wall. Maybe I should accept that I will never live a normal life. That's it's not for me.

I am sorry for being so pessimistic, maybe it's a post-op depression... I don't know. It does bother me though that I have to go through these extreme surgeries, pain and huge scars, and still not getting what I want: just a normal life. Nope. Nothing is normal in my life.


1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
  •  

2cherry

An update on the changes so far... 1 month, 1 week and 1 day.

I guess the post-op depression is evident. I feel foggy, can't concentrate on anything other than healing and just existing right now. It's difficult to wake up each day, and get into a routine. I also lost my sleeping routine.... FFS messes with me, more so emotionally. It's a struggle. If you go do FFS: take at least 6 weeks off.

Update:

Skin of my chin is still swollen, but sensitivity is back for 100%. Which makes me happy. No sensitive spots either. I considered it healed. The swelling will go in time. I noticed a huge improvement after I started eating fatty salmon every other day.

Jaw is still swollen at the edges, skin is also swollen a bit. This will all go down in time.

From day to day I see the orbitals swollen. Sometimes it looks as the bone is back. But it's just skin that is swollen. Still needs to settle...

Forehead sensation is back for about 80%, in a radial manner. I feel less near the hairline and more near the sinus. Forehead still feels a bit tight, because all the muscles were detached. They still need to settle, so the skins feel a bit tight when I raise my eyebrows.

Top of my head is completely numb. Doesn't bother me at all, unless I try to touch it. I feel nothing there. it's very weird. It is like I touch someone else's head. Sometimes I freak out a little bit when I touch it.  :D

Brows sometimes tickle... feeling is back in brows (plucking hurts again)

Shooting sensations through my forehead, about 10-15 a day.

Lips are back to normal. All sensation is back.

Cheeks are 100% back, fully sensitive.

Nose has swollen a little bit since the last few days. Nose is also dry during the day... not very nice. Shooting sensations inside my nose have increased to twice a day. Nerves reconnect again. It started a few days ago.

Tightness inside the mouth is now 10%, it's there, but not noticeable. I discovered some sutures in my mouth. The surgeon did not remove these yet. Don't know why...





1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
  •  

Sophia Sage

Quote from: 2cherry on December 16, 2016, 07:58:57 PMYes, I think I will go stealth in 2017. I just cannot be bothered with it anymore. I won't let it define me any longer. Once you tell people, they act differently. If you don't tell, and they find out, you're suddenly a liar. i.e. they still see you as a man who became a woman. No matter what you do. Being trans is a huge conundrum.

"Being trans" is a narrative condition. 

So take control of the narrative.  You're a woman.  That's the beginning and end of the story. 

Why on earth would anyone you haven't told "find out" otherwise?  Trust me, it's not about being tall.  I'm tall, I have a "sturdy" build according to one lover, and no one has asked.  Not once.  It's a big world.  I don't live where I used to.  Bridges have been burnt.  We get through this world by leaving all that behind and simply being women.  Which takes self-acceptance.  Accepting that you are a woman, and that you've always been female.  So live it down, by embracing the truth that's actually the most difficult truth to embrace.

Your body is just a light bulb.  You are the light.  You live it down by shining. 

Here's the thing you aren't considering, the thing you can't see your way to -- the life where you simply go out into the world and live it and no one questions who you really are, because it's apparent for all to see from how you simply are.  Being trans isn't a conundrum.  Being a woman, now, that's what you need to concern yourself with.  We learn, as all women have, from other women.  And we learn, as all women have, from men. 


QuoteDating is another issue. Let's say I go to a dating site:

If I tell:  I might attract ->-bleeped-<-s. I might also run into possible haters and lure me into their hate crime.

If I don't tell:
and he finds out, I will either be accused of lying or even murdered.

Let's consider you going to a dating site, and you find a match, and you date, and no one brings it up.

That's been my experience.  I was in one relationship for six years. It ended because he smoked pot everyday, and I had to get away from such temptation. It ended because he was not intellectually stimulating enough. Because we had different tastes in entertainment. Because, frankly, we'd run out of things to talk about. I probably stayed in the relationship longer than I should have. But it was so, so good to be "normal" and I just had to revel in it as long as I could. Until I finally realized that it was also "normal" to move on. So I did. 

Now, one of my best friends back in the day was dating this guy (they'd met at a bar), and after they'd been dating six months, it's getting serious enough that she introduces him to her impeccable family... and he found out while idly looking up her parents online, whom he'd met and liked -- unfortunately, she never moved away from her home town, and her parents still lived in her birth home, and the old name came up.  So he asked, and she was unshakeable in her resolve -- this was a medical condition, it's been rectified, and if he doesn't believe in the truth that she's unmistakably female then there's no future for the relationship.  She took control of the narrative, with a one-week deadline for talking about it, and after that such conversations would be verboten.  And yeah, she was a mess that week, but he didn't leave.  Her... faith in herself was overpowering. He had to concede (and the sex was fantastic, apparently, which certainly didn't hurt).

They married a couple years later, and are still together to this day.  She finished raising his kids from his first marriage. 

My point is, you're not lying if you truly believe the truth of your own narrative.  If you're being truly authentic to your inner light.  So there's good reason to believe that as long as you've done everything in your power to shine (which especially includes voice, because that's what shines brightest) that there won't be any accusations in the first place.  And if there are, any accusations are false accusations, and you deal with them by being prepared to walk away.  So there's great value in learning that you can burn bridges in the first place. 


QuoteI am sorry for being so pessimistic, maybe it's a post-op depression... I don't know. It does bother me though that I have to go through these extreme surgeries, pain and huge scars, and still not getting what I want: just a normal life. Nope. Nothing is normal in my life.

Well, first, yes, there's post-op depression (especially from a surgery as brutal as this one) and I didn't get over my post-op depression for a good two to three months.

But you have also been mired in transition for, what, seven years now?

That's long enough.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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2cherry

Thanks Sophia, I don't know what to say to that...

I still think that I will stay alone, it's just... well, destiny, fate, my path... karma? who knows. Or maybe it's my personality. Maybe I've been hurt too much, that I lost my faith in people. Truth is, I never met someone whom is at a similar level, or similar frequency. I am very fragile. Too fragile. I don't want to be hurt, which instills my fear for people, partners and dates. I am a complex person indeed...

But anyway, maybe it's the post-op depression talking.  ;)

I have to figure out where I am going... and how I will shape my future. What I want to do from here on. I have so much talent in many different areas, but zero interest in doing something with it. I just don't care. The last 8 years were only spent on transitioning, reading about it, learning, and growing to be myself. Allowing to be myself...  and now there is this void, this abyss that is staring at me.

As for the FFS:

Forehead is starting to go down more. I don't notice it much during the day. Same as yesterday, but a bit better. I did notice that when I walk outside, sometimes I have a blurry vision for a few seconds as my eyes are crossing. I had this a couple of times. My eyes need to settle as well. They have to readjust. Because when they pulled back my forehead, they pulled it back over my eyes, to get to the edge of the sinus and the top of the nose. So I do feel some shooting pains next to my eyes from time to time. A few sutures dissolved in my mouth today. That was nice.

Exhaustion is getting less... but there is this lingering annoyance of healing... wounds, scars, swelling doesn't make me happy. I am ready for it to go down. I want to see the final result.

Right now I am thinking: maybe I could have gotten more chin work... but I have to be careful, it's still swollen for about 5mm... so I can't really judge yet.

I want the lip lift, but I am also tired of another surgery. I had the same feeling after SRS, I thought: no more surgeries! But I have to have the lip lift, it's the final touch to my face... yet, I dread getting it while being conscious. Also the extra healing makes me shudder... plus, I don't really want another scar...  :(

That's about it.





1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
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R R H

That's interesting about the chin comment 2 Cherry my lovely because I was thinking the same yesterday. I suspect it's because the narrower and tighter face, through the lifts and in your case jaw work, then accentuates the chin?

I've been digesting your posts and the replies and wondering how to reply. Some, but not all, ties in so much with my own feelings. I was pretty down yesterday, wondering if it had all been worth it. If I had my time again, would I have gone through with this? I'm better after a good sleep mind you.

But on the issue of presenting to the world, I don't know. Some large part of me wants a clean break: to operate in the world as a woman without any trans narrative. I know someone who has done just that. Apart from her partner, no-one knows. It's incredible: they literally have no idea she was born in a male body.

On the other hand part of me also sees the point about links and owning that past, though I don't feel that too strongly. I have a minor public profile which makes it just about impossible to start afresh without abandoning my life of journalism and writing.

Re. finding someone. I never, ever, thought I would be in a relationship again. I was so hurt from the past and retreated inside my cocoon. In fact it was more like a hard impenetrable shell. To my surprise, a relationship with someone I have known for six or seven years blossomed this year. She's the one who just said, 'I'm flying to be with you in Bangkok.' I'm sitting in bed next to her as I type this. All totally unexpected. So it does happen, and I really hope it does for you if it's the right thing. I'd have gone on okay on my own, I think, so this was a lovely bolt from the blue.
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2cherry

That's nice Rachel!

Yeah... maybe it is because I don't love myself so much... don't love this body and this condition.

I am just back from a 4 hour walk! I went out at 7 AM and walked through the forest here... no people, all alone. I like that. No people means silence, and silence means thought. I can think better when I am alone, in nature. Once I see people I always get nervous. It's not that I don't like people, but I just don't want to deal with them.  :D

You could say I like to be alone. But, I also long for someone. Someone who I can spend time with. Go to places, do things. Not necessarily a relationship, but something more than friends. Soulmate maybe... but that is a big leap.

I visited the hospital. And I stood outside it, in the fog. I am trying to process what has happened when I was there. I had no-one, and so no one to talk to. I never processed all of it. I just underwent it, while trying to be strong... In such moments I miss someone... I have only my own thoughts. Going back felt good... I can almost close this chapter.

As for healing, I feel superb right now! the walk released endorphins. I think I had a bit of cabin fever. Spent days inside. And that's no good... I did a four hour walk, I think that was good. I do have some back pain, so I am going to take it easy the rest of the day.

The forehead has healed very much, the numbness is barely noticeable since today. When I frown I still feel some tightness, but not much. I feel healing is gaining traction and progressing now. So that is a good sign.  :)


1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
  •  

R R H

Awww I can identify with the need to be on your own but also the desire for someone close. It does sound as if you are dealing with things, though it often may not seem that way. I think you're very brave to have gone through it on your own, but we have this drive don't we, which means it's impossible to stop. Sometimes I think it's good to think how you would feel if you hadn't done it?

I really hope you do find people in your life who can be a support for you. You seem like a lovely person and deserve it.

xx


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2cherry

Quote from: Rachel Richenda on December 18, 2016, 06:31:01 AM
Awww I can identify with the need to be on your own but also the desire for someone close. It does sound as if you are dealing with things, though it often may not seem that way. I think you're very brave to have gone through it on your own, but we have this drive don't we, which means it's impossible to stop. Sometimes I think it's good to think how you would feel if you hadn't done it?

I really hope you do find people in your life who can be a support for you. You seem like a lovely person and deserve it.

xx

Thanks Rachel.  :)

When I think about if I had not done it... I think I would be more miserable than I am now. The forehead was for me the most important result. I would have done only the forehead if I had to. It's just a world of difference... when I first started to transition, I did not notice it's importance myself. But now that I have the forehead done, I really understand how much a difference it makes.

Right now, I also feel comfortable to show people my side profile. Whereas before FFS, I would turn my head a away or turn my head towards someone so that they could not see my profile... that "stress" is gone. And it's huge relief... 

I feel very good today. That long hike gave me a boost. I also felt at ease when walking in the forest. As if I finally came back into my body, and all senses started to function again. As if I removed all walls I pulled up... and everything became bright and clear. I allowed myself to "feel" things again.

I still have some insecurities, but I have to wait for the healing. It's barely 5-6 weeks now. It's in infancy.  :icon_chick:


1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
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Debra

Quote from: 2cherry on December 18, 2016, 06:53:58 AM
Right now, I also feel comfortable to show people my side profile. Whereas before FFS, I would turn my head a away or turn my head towards someone so that they could not see my profile... that "stress" is gone. And it's huge relief... 

Exactly. I find I'm pretty happy with my profile now......the nose swelling can still go down a lot at the tip but other than that, the forehead profile looks pretty damn good. Ironically it's the front of my face that I'm not caring for right now. Still just too much swelling....selfies aren't bad but when I see myself in photos farther away, it feels like my eyes are sinking into my face haha.

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Sophia Sage

Quote from: 2cherry on December 17, 2016, 11:44:33 PMI still think that I will stay alone, it's just... well, destiny, fate, my path... karma? who knows. Or maybe it's my personality. Maybe I've been hurt too much, that I lost my faith in people. Truth is, I never met someone whom is at a similar level, or similar frequency. I am very fragile. Too fragile. I don't want to be hurt, which instills my fear for people, partners and dates. I am a complex person indeed...

I have to figure out where I am going... and how I will shape my future. What I want to do from here on. I have so much talent in many different areas, but zero interest in doing something with it. I just don't care. The last 8 years were only spent on transitioning, reading about it, learning, and growing to be myself. Allowing to be myself...  and now there is this void, this abyss that is staring at me.

Well, first, unless you're a time traveler, there is no fate.  :)

The harder part, I think, is figuring out what you want.  Because, yes, having spent so much time and energy focusing on a project that is now basically completed, what do you want to do next?  And it's really okay to not have an answer to that.  Go ahead and drift.  I drifted in my first major post-op relationship, that was really all I was doing, not paying attention to anything else.  Eventually, though, the abyss started poking at me, a prod here, a stick there, and soon there was plenty to occupy myself. 

Think of it this way -- having done what you've done, don't you think you could do just about anything now, if you put your mind to it?

So figure out where you can go.  The, decide on something to do -- something to make some money, but that's a no-brainer, and doesn't depend on a reputation or a social network.  Follow your bliss, and if your bliss eludes you then follow your whims.  Or read the universe for coincidences, and let fate decide. 

Regardless, though, the next phase -- the post-transition phase of transsexing -- does take getting out into the world and doing something. I think we've got to be immersed in people for a while.  They don't have to be lovers, or even close friends, and certainly not with the intention of going for one or the other (relationships just happen), but there's something just so powerful about becoming "known" for who you are in the present, post-transition.  Maybe it'll be a new work environment, or a social hobby group, a volunteer organization, what have you, it doesn't really matter. 

The thing is, people are mirrors. In the absence of narrative, they reflect who we are in the moment.  And the mirroring other people provide is so much more powerful than what we get from glass and silver. 

Quote from: Rachel Richenda on December 18, 2016, 04:03:59 AMBut on the issue of presenting to the world, I don't know. Some large part of me wants a clean break: to operate in the world as a woman without any trans narrative. I know someone who has done just that. Apart from her partner, no-one knows. It's incredible: they literally have no idea she was born in a male body.

On the other hand part of me also sees the point about links and owning that past, though I don't feel that too strongly. I have a minor public profile which makes it just about impossible to start afresh without abandoning my life of journalism and writing.

Well, just to be perfectly clear, I do think it's possible to transsex with an open narrative, it's just a lot more difficult, because people take narratives much more seriously than they should, imo.  They believe in stories rather than looking at what's right in front of their face.  So you just have to live it down. 

But yeah, it's incredible to live in the world without that narrative.

And I bet you could do it, Rachel.  You could think of it as a writing project -- doing first-hand research with as little intervention as possible.  Find a different line of work, just for a while, and see what it's like.  If it doesn't suit you, you can always go back to your previous profession. 

Or not. You're still you, after all.
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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R R H

That's such an interesting post Sophia. Thank you for the compliment and it's something I'm really going to think about. I have a novel to finish by end of February and then I could do something completely different. Why not?!:)

Debra, great about your positive post. I think it takes a long time for the face to settle fully, even with less invasive surgery.
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Michelle_P

It's interesting.  We live for such a long time focused on this goal, striving towards it, getting past all the obstacles society and medicine can put in our path.  It takes incredible determination and focus to get through transition.

Then we achieve our goal.

Now what?  All that drive and determination, and what do we focus it on next?  I think it's a really good idea to take a deliberate break at this point, relax, look around, recognize that we really have accomplished that goal, and don't need to plan another surgery, or another biochemical tweak.  We're done.  Finished.  Put a cherry on top.

I think it just might take a little time and introspection for us to fully accept we are done.  Selah.  Pause, and think of that.

Then, we can look around our lives, our world, and find a worthy new goal for our drive and determination.

Quote from: Sophia Sage on December 18, 2016, 06:42:00 PM
Regardless, though, the next phase -- the post-transition phase of transsexing -- does take getting out into the world and doing something. I think we've got to be immersed in people for a while.  They don't have to be lovers, or even close friends, and certainly not with the intention of going for one or the other (relationships just happen), but there's something just so powerful about becoming "known" for who you are in the present, post-transition.  Maybe it'll be a new work environment, or a social hobby group, a volunteer organization, what have you, it doesn't really matter. 

The thing is, people are mirrors. In the absence of narrative, they reflect who we are in the moment.  And the mirroring other people provide is so much more powerful than what we get from glass and silver. 

Oh, yes!  Folks in transition tend to silo themselves, associating with their closest supporters, other transgender folks, the gang at the local LGBT center.  Post transition is long past time to get out in the world.

I am deliberately making an effort to avoid living in the silo, the company of just my peers in the transgender community.  Oh, I do that here, and with the social support group I'm seeing at dinner tonight, among others, but I'm trying to mix it up more.

I'm also active in a couple of amateur radio clubs, and teach classes.  I'm on the coffee committee at a local church.  I was in a recent protest action to remind people there's more to life than spending and merchandise.  I spent yesterday evening at a pagan winter solstice ceremony. 

I'm trying to interact and connect with the whole variety of the human species, rather than the narrow realm of "my people".  The human race is my people, and I am one of them.  (I imagine this may upset some. ;) )


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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2cherry

#134
Well... I finally managed to do a before and after timeline in pictures.

Ready?  ;D

Here it is: https://unsee.cc/bosaritu/

The first picture is the timeline: 2010 to 2016. I tried to put up 4 pictures with a similar expression. The 2016 pictures are after FFS. The picture from 2010 says it all: I was very unhappy... I just started electrolysis there. So you can see how much I changed. Most of it was due to hormones as you can see in the 2015 picture.

I am just 5 weeks out of FFS surgery, It's difficult to see but my face is still a bit swollen in many areas. Especially the nose has swelling, jaw and chin. I only have minor makeup: lipgloss, eyeliner, and mascara. I used my tablet to take the pictures, which has a bad camera in it, I used no photoshop and no effects. Also, consider the fact that I made the pictures myself from about arms length away, so a little lens distortion of proportions emerge. When I am fully healed, I will do a proper before and after.

And yes, that is my real hair. (If I got 1$ for each time I am asked about that, I'd be a millionaire.) bear in mind: I am almost 40 years old. I cannot compete with the younger ones here. :)

I am happy with the forehead, the cheeks (much fuller), hairline lowering, brow lift, and the smaller jaw. I am in limbo about the chin, but I have to wait for the healing.

A lip lift is still planned. I only want a shorter lip to nose distance, I don't care about the cosmetic aspect.
But no flappybird lips for me...   ;)

Would love to hear your opinion.


1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
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R R H

Simply stunning. I'm not just buttering you up but you look 100% female, and gorgeous with it.

Re. the chin well there are plenty of cis females with similar shaped chins and it doesn't look out of proportion to me. If you hadn't of remarked on it I'd have swept it up with your generally beautiful female looks.

Fab too about your hair. I'm lucky to have all my own too and it does help a lot.

You're gorgeous!!

Rxx
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Debra

Wow so good! Esp love the profile difference but that's also what I notice a lot different about myself right now.

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Drexy/Drex


Would love to hear your opinion.



You look absolutely gorgeous ..wow
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2cherry

Thank you Rachel, Debra, markie...  :)

About the chin: I think it's swollen as much as he removed... so it looks like nothing has been removed. When I press the skin of my chin, it bounces in about 5-6mm. Same with the jaw in some places. That's maybe as much as my surgeon removed. So I have to be very careful in my own assessment. Nose has swollen in the last few days as well. So I am still healing.

Regardless, I do think I need a lip lift.

It is strange to look at myself... I still have to get used to the new face, but I do think it's much better. I don't have many photo's but the brow bossing was pretty serious...

Btw, in the pictures you can also see where I had to cut 6-10 inches of hair, it's visible in the profile picture... it was clotted with blood and I was unable to untangle it. Curls are extremely difficult to manage, and once tangled it's impossible to untangle them. Especially when it's steeped in solidified blood. Small sacrifice... not a real issue. I have enough hair! my hair is currently 50cm - 21". It ends on by back, below my bra. It was 60cm - 23"., and it's slowly growing back after I cut it last year. It never grew more than 60cm - 23". I think that is my limit.


1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
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2cherry

6 weeks.

I have indeed some left over swelling in the chin, and a bit of sagging. I was afraid that I had not enough chin work, but that's unfounded. When they shorten the chin, it's only a few millimeters. It's now covered with swelling. I think about 5mm of swelling. Which makes it look like nothing has changed. It takes 6-12 months for the skin to re-drape this area. I took pictures way too soon...

All sensitivity in the chin and lower lip has returned. Which really thrilled me, because I was worried about that. I read that it is common to have permanent loss on the chin, so I guess I am lucky that everything returned to normal at week 5. (although I am convinced that sensitivity returned after I started eating lot's of salmon, maybe it's the high Omega-3's and selenium that's in it.)

Pretty much all sensitivity has returned, except for the top of the head. Although that insensitive area has already decreased with about half an inch.

Forehead sensitivity is back for about 90%. The skins is still a bit tight when I frown or makes facial gestures, but day to day I don't really notice it unless I start to focus on it.

Shooting pains continue, which is good, because the more they appear the more sensitivity will return. I also have some little shooting pains around the brows, the orbitals. Sometimes they really sting! I have about two a day in this area.

Mouth movement has returned to 95% and I can open my mouth for about 80%

The nose had swelled since a week, especially the bridge. I can feel it's swollen a bit.

Exhaustion is gone! :)

What's left:

Residual swelling, shooting pains, and scalp numbness. Which indicates I am not healed yet.

I say, 6 weeks makes all the difference. So if you plan this kind of surgery, take at least 6 weeks to recover.



1977: Born.
2009: HRT
2012: RLE
2014: SRS
2016: FFS
2017: rejoicing

focus on the positive, focus on solutions.
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