I got harrased today.
I understand why someone wouldn't want to go back out there again.
But please don't hate those of us who do.
It takes a lot of strength for us to go back out there and do it again.
It is painful.
And it hurts.
Please don't hate us for doing what is neccisary.
We do try.
Please don't hate us for being human.
We are people too.
And we get angry too. And frustrated. And hurt.
Im sorry for all the suffering this world has caused us.
I hope we can end it.
I don't want any of us to be hurt still.
That sucks.
And don't think I don't think it doesn't.
I try to be an optimist.
That doesn't mean I don't bleed.
I love you all.
Sara

 

I'm sorry you had to go through that hun. I don't hate you in the least for being open, in fact, I respect you for it. I'm not sure where you go to college, and I don't know how it compares to mine, but I know it takes guts to do what you do. Far more then I have. So I hope you can keep your chin high, and I hope the dawn brings a brighter day.

Thanks friend.
I love you too.

Sara

you've got to do something about that, sarah.  can you complain or at least report the incident?

I don't harbor any anomosity toward those that are or go stealth. It's in my plan to try but not my reality. I do recognize however the costs of it to the rest of the community, that's why it's the catch-22 of the issue, what's good for the community isn't good for the individual and vice versa. But we all should make our life decisions on our life, and everyone should respect those decisions. I only ask the stealh one not to condone or even tolerate discrimination against those that aren't. Being stealth isn't a right or privilege to join the mob against those who aren't or can't.

It's not that hard to be nice as a human being and to other human beings. That's all I ask.

--Susan--

Of course, you don't want to an hypocrite and discriminate against
other T's because you can! But, there are ways to support a
cause without being out. You can support it financially or by voting
or simply by being a liberal person.

sorry Sara you had to deal with that  hope it gets much more better. hugs

Quote from: SusanK on January 27, 2008, 07:57:30 AM
I don't harbor any anomosity toward those that are or go stealth. It's in my plan to try but not my reality. I do recognize however the costs of it to the rest of the community, that's why it's the catch-22 of the issue, what's good for the community isn't good for the individual and vice versa. But we all should make our life decisions on our life, and everyone should respect those decisions. I only ask the stealh one not to condone or even tolerate discrimination against those that aren't. Being stealth isn't a right or privilege to join the mob against those who aren't or can't.

It's not that hard to be nice as a human being and to other human beings. That's all I ask.

--Susan--

Quote from: Keira on January 27, 2008, 08:13:20 AM

Of course, you don't want to an hypocrite and discriminate against
other T's because you can! But, there are ways to support a
cause without being out. You can support it financially or by voting
or simply by being a liberal person.

here is some good points  on this from both of you susan and keria. and indeed you can do it  by voteing

and  if one is able to financially do it then. then that is a good thing. but like i said  both you and susan

and keria have made some good points here. give yea something  to keep in mind and think about

Sara, Sara, Sara.

I can tell you with dead certainty that no one here at Susan's hates any member here for any reason, and especially those who are stealth or want to be stealth.  How you wish to live your life is your business and yours alone.  Sure I strive to be as stealth as I can, but in my own case it is almost impossible as I transitioned at work, so many, many people know about me.  Why on earth would I, or any other member hate you when we have all been where you are now to some degree.  Each of us TS has our own life issues to deal with, and to stir the TS issues into the pot only serves to further complicate our plight.  I don't shy away from fighting for TS rights so I am "Out" there, and if I thought that there were members here who "Hated" me for that then I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to be associated with Susan's, fortunately that's not the case.

One very special, much loved member of Susan's who passed away last year was very "Out", she was a very respected member who fought for her rights and those who are TS and she was not afraid of a fight, you can read about her by clicking here, and the only reason that someone may have hated her was because she called a spade a spade, she told you exactly what she thought of you, but even then it wasn't hate.

You are not hated here Sara, not for who you are, for how you live or wish to live your life, your beliefs about what TS should do or be doing, not for any reason.

Steph

I agree with Steph, Sara.

You are not hated, not at all. In fact, I am with Natasha on what happened to you. There should be some sort of report procedure available if this happened at the school. If it happened in the community, then there should be reporting procedures there as well. Might the school encourage the other students to boycott the establishment this incident occurred in?

I think we have all, or mostly all, been in that awkward period where one still seems to be one's birth-designated sex while dressing, behaving, walking, whatever in ways that appear opposite to what maybe more middle-of-the-road people of that sex might do.

It hurts to be laughed at. Or to have someone say something quietly but still audible to yourself and others. I ache for the pain that has to have brought you and I recall situations when that happened to me as well. (((((Sara)))))

Yes, you see one of the reasons that many of us prefer not to make any issue about our pasts in a public fashion. I'm very sorry you found that out. I wish no one had to. But, I also feel like I have to live the life I have now, not to further be forced or coerced into living a life that calls for me to conform to someone else's idea about whom I should be and what I should do.

Been there. Done that. I cannot imagine it being any more pleasant now than it was then.

Nichole 

Stealth is good now, as long as they identify as trans? not women?
R >

Sarah,
  I think Steph was so right in her answer. I believe that way also. If you want to be stealth then go for it. If there are people who want to tell you how to live your life then they are no better than that security guard. I'm out, like Steph, I came out in front of about 100 people. Leigh was there and it was exciting and I never went back. I'm really open about who I am, but this is my life and not yours. I live my life the way I see fit as you should. Don't ever take a back seat to anyone. You are special and don't forget it for one second.
Love Sheila

Quote from: Rachael on January 27, 2008, 11:35:16 AM
Stealth is good now, as long as they identify as trans? not women?
R >

Not sure that I follow you Rach!

Steph

You can do whatever you want with your life its up to you.  I don't consider myself "stealth" but at the same time I don't proclaim to the world my transgender status.  Most of the people at work know because that is where i transistioned.  I didn't make any formal announcements and just eased into it. 

However when I meet new people the subject usually doesn't come up and if it does and I am comfortable with them I will answer some of their questions.  But I don't automatically volunteer information.  If you make a big deal out of it then other people will too.  People can't deal with something that they don't understand thrown in their face. 

I also think that people that "come out" before any HRT or electrolysis are asking for trouble.  Not saying you shouldn't do it, but just be prepared for any flak that you catch and be carefull.  In other words watch your back.  If youre even at the point with HRT and hair removal where your gender is questionable youll do better than pre everything.

Now keep in mind that this is a generalization and everyones situation is different, but it is kind of common sense.  When people see someone that has all the male gender markers (voice, facial hair, etc.) in a dress then they see them as A man in a dress.  Putting a dress on and presenting as female doesn't mean people will treat you as such.

Call me a liar, but its reality.

Audrey

^ Yes- you have to PROVE and SHOW to people that you are what you really want to be taken as. This means showing them that you have no facial hair, muscles, fat distrubution, voice, manners etc- if you come out with your "fake" self or lets just say extremely masculine then people aren't likely to take you very seriously.

But if you are masculine in your traits currently(which by the way doesn't make your GID any less), it's okay to come up out to CLOSE relations if you feel that they should know but again don't expect them to take you seriously- they may if they really see it through your personality that living male really isn't working for you and that this is some problem....

"It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable."
                                                                                -Moliere

I'm going back out there

Quote from: Steph on January 27, 2008, 12:59:20 PM

Quote from: Rachael on January 27, 2008, 11:35:16 AM
Stealth is good now, as long as they identify as trans? not women?
R >

Not sure that I follow you Rach!

Steph

Sarah had a big problem in one of her umpteen topics... with transwomen who identified as solely female, and went stealth, leaving those who cant or wont behind to fend.... now she crawls back begging forgiveness... i sympathise with her experience, but i dont with the uturn....
R >

Quote from: Rachael on January 27, 2008, 10:44:41 PM

Quote from: Steph on January 27, 2008, 12:59:20 PM

Quote from: Rachael on January 27, 2008, 11:35:16 AM
Stealth is good now, as long as they identify as trans? not women?
R >

Not sure that I follow you Rach!

Steph

Sarah had a big problem in one of her umpteen topics... with transwomen who identified as solely female, and went stealth, leaving those who cant or wont behind to fend.... now she crawls back begging forgiveness... i sympathise with her experience, but i dont with the uturn....
R >

Careful Rachael, you are crossing a line. Please don't.

which line? this one? *CLICK.....*






oh wait, twas a dud

R >

Quote from: Audrey on January 27, 2008, 01:09:31 PM
You can do whatever you want with your life its up to you.  I don't consider myself "stealth" but at the same time I don't proclaim to the world my transgender status.  Most of the people at work know because that is where i transistioned.  I didn't make any formal announcements and just eased into it. 

However when I meet new people the subject usually doesn't come up and if it does and I am comfortable with them I will answer some of their questions.  But I don't automatically volunteer information.  If you make a big deal out of it then other people will too.  People can't deal with something that they don't understand thrown in their face. 

I also think that people that "come out" before any HRT or electrolysis are asking for trouble.  Not saying you shouldn't do it, but just be prepared for any flak that you catch and be carefull.  In other words watch your back.  If youre even at the point with HRT and hair removal where your gender is questionable youll do better than pre everything.

Now keep in mind that this is a generalization and everyones situation is different, but it is kind of common sense.  When people see someone that has all the male gender markers (voice, facial hair, etc.) in a dress then they see them as A man in a dress.  Putting a dress on and presenting as female doesn't mean people will treat you as such.

Call me a liar, but its reality.

Audrey

A very good post Audrey.....and so acurate.