Does anyone else force themselves into uncomfortable situations during transition?

On purpose I'll go a little further than I'm comfortable.  I find it helps the next time making things less stressful.  For example, sunbathing in a woman's suit.  No way was I ready for that, but I forced myself to do it.  The third time I went to the pool was easy.

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Quote from: Denise on December 20, 2016, 04:08:49 PM
Does anyone else force themselves into uncomfortable situations during transition?

On purpose I'll go a little further than I'm comfortable.  I find it helps the next time making things less stressful.  For example, sunbathing in a woman's suit.  No way was I ready for that, but I forced myself to do it.  The third time I went to the pool was easy.

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For the longest time my motto at work was. Nothing to it but to do it. I think it apply's here.

Everything about transition involves stepping out of one's comfort zones.  Once I realized that my comfort zone was a prison in which I had jailed myself for 60+ years, I had no choice but to venture outside of it.

I don't think you can transition successfully without going through uncomfortable situations. First time out dressed, first time seeing a therapist, seeing an Endo, buying a dress, getting your hair or nails  done. These were all really uncomfortable situations the first time that you sooner or later will have to master.... Plus a lot more...

Be strong
Hugs
Jessica


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I think the saying "You don't know until you try", applies here. Many people are uncomfortable doing things they haven't done before. Once you have done it once, whether successful or not, the next time you do it is definitely easier.


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Quote from: Denise on December 20, 2016, 04:08:49 PM
Does anyone else force themselves into uncomfortable situations during transition?

On purpose I'll go a little further than I'm comfortable.  I find it helps the next time making things less stressful.  For example, sunbathing in a woman's suit.  No way was I ready for that, but I forced myself to do it.  The third time I went to the pool was easy.

Yes, that is pretty much what transition is.  One uncomfortable situation after another.

I won't do the bathing suit thing due to a bit of a phobia about swimming. (Bad dive accident, really bad.)  Just too many unpleasant associations there., and no reason to revisit them just to flash my 63 year old bod in a swimsuit.  Besides, that's why my bodycon tops and skinny jeans or leggings are for.

I do try other things, like taking my car into a garage as myself, where I know I'll have to show ID, and my car paperwork, all deadnamed, to a seriously testosterone-fueled workforce.  Last week's little adventure...  Or going dancing with another woman. Or going out to dinner with a transgender social group, then hanging out in a bar for a few hours chatting.  Or singing (!) in a pagan solstice rite. (All in the last 4 days.  I'm a busy little lady.)

Next week I'll be the blonde gal trying to buy a car.  With male ID and paperwork.  Should be fun...

Ah, transition.  Someday these will be the good old days. /P



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I did.

My first time out as Grace was not the first time I'd ever been out as a woman - I'd had practice at that many times during Transition 1.0 in 1991 - so in that sense it was actually like getting back on the bike and quite exhilarating and comfortable at the same time. So exhilarating in fact I then committed myself to three outings as Grace the following week...to a public talk on trans issues, to a friend's art show opening and, to a dinner at a club with a local trans support group.

Each had their own particular hurdles but the art show was the most challenging...for starters it was totally unrelated to trans stuff, and even though I knew the people there were all likely to be pro-LGBT I suddenly found myself in panic mode when I arrived and saw how many people were there milling about.

My instinct was to do a runner but I had a little conversation with myself and decided that it was a safe place and that if I didn't go in I would feel pretty depressed about it afterwards. So I worked up some courage, walked in and quickly found my friend and plied myself with a glass of red wine. All was good, I soon calmed down, chatted with a few people I hadn't met before and had a fantastic night which included dinner with my friend, her partner and a bunch of other women afterwards.

It was only a small challenge, but at the time I almost baulked and ran...so glad I didn't because it improved my confidence exponentially!

Yes a couple of times in my life. About 2 years ago, I met up with Ms Grace in Sydney (I was en route to the US for a conference) and up to that point has not met any other TG women except Cindy in Adelaide, and one evening out with Catherine Sarah in Sydney to her club in North Sydney (that was an experience too in a crowded restaurant full of CIS gendered men and women). Anyway  Ms Grace collected me from my hotel in Central Sydney and we walked down the hill from my hotel to a restaurant where a group of other TG women were meeting for dinner. I was pretty nervous at the time and a little unsteady in my heels, although I had been out earlier to get my nails done at a beauty therapist close to my hotel). Anyway by the time we had reached the restaurant , grace soothing voice and friendly manner had calmed me down and I really enjoyed my dinner out in Sydney. Sadly I haven't been to Sydney and met the group since then, although I have met an amazing group of women thru Susans Place in the UK and USA as well.

Quote from: judithlynn on December 21, 2016, 01:54:17 AM
I was pretty nervous at the time...

I would never have guessed it!

Not really. In my mind I'm not ready to go full time, so I don't. That's based on how I look to myself.

But I guess everyone's comfort zone is different. As it is I'm very androgynous; I wear only unisex clothes (mostly women's) like skinny jeans, and have long hair and polished nails. At my job no one really bats an eye, or at least they haven't commented. Lol. But they know I'm in a band, so I assume they think that's the reason.


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Quote from: Denise on December 20, 2016, 04:08:49 PM
Does anyone else force themselves into uncomfortable situations during transition?

On purpose I'll go a little further than I'm comfortable.  I find it helps the next time making things less stressful.  For example, sunbathing in a woman's suit.  No way was I ready for that, but I forced myself to do it.  The third time I went to the pool was easy.

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Back in youth, back in my street racing days, we had a saying. You don't get better unless you go Gear Banging with the Big Boys. AKA taking yourself out of your safe zone and pushing the envelope.

Having tried life both ways. Staying in a space where you feel safe and comfortable... sort of; vs pushing yourself out of that comfort zone in hope of a big pay day... One is a slow rot. The other a path to great joy, success, even failure.

I tried merely existing for decades. It was no fun at all. I am trying taking myself out of my comfort zone. Some times it came with the cost of great pain. Most times it delivered great joy. On the whole, FAR Better then simply existing