.... in 9 days my wife will be leaving the country with the kids. This sucks but in 9 days I will also finally start living as me. I came out to her almost a year ago, started HRT 9 months ago but have been trapped as presenting male because that was the deal or she would have left way earlier. Her "official" reason for splitting up is not my trans issue but the way I treated her all those years. Yes, I was a unmotivated, depressive, boring husband that lied to her for over 25 years. I tried to explain her a thousand times that I was lying to myself but it's hopeless, she doesn't understand it or doesn't want to understand it. Anyway.... it is what it is and I can't change it - I tried it unsuccessfully for decades but it hurts to get the full blame for everything.

So on the day she leaves, I will get my ears pierced, my hair done (for the first time in way over a year) and I will start the biggest shopping event in history....ok, ok - that might be slightly exaggerated.

I can't wait to share my journey with you.

Big hugs
Jessica

Best of luck to you, sorry to hear she will take the kids out of the country. Hope you have worked out a system where you can see them at least some of the times.

hugs 

Sorry to hear how things went between you and your spouse. Good luck with the next phase of your transition and being able to move forward with it Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Vinya on December 21, 2016, 04:30:49 PM
Best of luck to you, sorry to hear she will take the kids out of the country. Hope you have worked out a system where you can see them at least some of the times.

hugs

Thank you Vinya. I hope so too and I'm planning to move back to Europe later next year to be closer to them but I would like to complete my transition here. I can't go back in this very awkward state I'm in right now.


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Quote from: Mariah on December 21, 2016, 04:57:00 PM
Sorry to hear how things went between you and your spouse. Good luck with the next phase of your transition and being able to move forward with it Hugs
Mariah

Thank you Mariah,

I guess our marriage was meant to go down. I wonder what percentage of marriages survive a full transition in the long run.

Hugs
Jessica


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Amazing.

I'm leaving the country with my wife and daughter for her home country and coming back in 4 weeks while they stay another 6.

I'm getting my ears pierced and going out as myself the day I get back stateside. She's non-accepting, Pentecostal, and literally rather see me dead instead of "embarrassing" her by transitioning.

So I'll have a few weeks to actually feel alive, and this is good.

So sorry it didn't work out as you'd hoped.  But we can't always imagine what the road looks like ahead.  Perhaps one day you'll find this is what you had to endure to get the next great thing.  Meanwhile, try to enjoy the adventure.  Hugs. 

Erin

Quote from: JessicaSondelli on December 21, 2016, 03:44:26 PM
.... in 9 days my wife will be leaving the country with the kids. <snip> Her "official" reason for splitting up is not my trans issue but the way I treated her all those years.

Been there, done that.
My ex-wife is in brazil with our two kids. Yes, because of the dysphoria I treated her poorly. I was angry too much.
Funny thing is we get along better now, than we ever did when we were married.

Quote from: Sleepnowmythrowaway on December 22, 2016, 01:28:15 AM
Amazing.

I'm leaving the country with my wife and daughter for her home country and coming back in 4 weeks while they stay another 6.

I'm getting my ears pierced and going out as myself the day I get back stateside. She's non-accepting, Pentecostal, and literally rather see me dead instead of "embarrassing" her by transitioning.

So I'll have a few weeks to actually feel alive, and this is good.

It sounds like our wives are having very similar issues. She says she is mostly concerned about bullying on our kids but I tend more to her being embarrassed by me because she can't see the female in me. She is also the kind that days she can clock every transgender woman.

Oh well... Good luck to you and be strong.

Bid hugs
Jessica


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So sorry to hear of your loss Jessica, being so brave by accepting and addressing your disphoria! I am sure you won't regret it except for not seeing your kids. Good luck with your new life!
When I told mY wife she initially thought I didn't love her and I was lying to her! In my case I really wasn't sure what this was, and convinced her I didn't understand it so I couldn't really tell her as I couldn't explain it! This was the truth even though I had purchased and used Estradiol occasionally in the past, I didn't know why I was so drawn to it. Obviously I now know why and accept I am mtf trans with body and genital disphoria being stronger than the gender disphoria, but they all play their part. I now see it was there since I was 3 years old. I am not brave enough to transition yet for many reasons but inevitably it will happen in one form or another. I still love my wife and she loves me but can we make it through this and stay together? Fortunately we don't have children but I have others from past relationships. It is never easy for us!

Hi Jessica,
while I can not help you with your emotions during this phase I can give you a few tips for your big day as a woman, so that you do not end up making the same mistakes I did.
The most important thing is the order you do things.
Do the clothing shopping first.
Then the hair.
And last the ear pricing.
Also have an emergency make up kit with you.

The reason for that is that changing clothings will mess with your hair, make up and touch your ears. You have no idea how often you touch your ear until it gets priced. So once you have your awesome new clothings put them on and then get your hair done. As for me my hairdresser made me look 20x more female than I had ever looked before. Now with new clothings and hairstyle you can get your ears pierced. If necessary you can put on new make up and I hope you will like the way you look more.

Hope these tips will make your day as good as possible.