I know this is an on going dilemma , but I thought I'd seek out the infamous Bell Curve. Please be patient with my insanity.

Thank you for putting this up and asking this question. I was pleasantly surprised to find how strongly I felt for '2'.

To quote Popeye "I yam what I yam"...so, a 1 I guess.

If you had asked me four years ago the answer would have been 10.

10.  It's a binary thing for me.  I fully accept it, and am doing everything in my power to fully transition, as part of being what I truly am.  Nonacceptance comes with a certain penalty clause, where I wrap myself in black depression and leave this life behind, a rather final sort of thing.


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Take that back... this is a 8.

Let's not bull ourselves either though. I can accept it, but if I had it the other way, I rather be cisgender woman. I don't care about "making myself to the person who I am", I gave up having children biologically, gave up at least 100-120k to look passable, gave up my family loving me unconditionally.

I accept it, but I accept it only because I have no choice

10 . I hate it that no matter what , I'll never be cis like any trans cant .. its a pain that I cant accept but have to deal with it

I voted "1" even though I'm only 60% transmale.

I just means that I know 100% that I'm partially trans.

1

I see it as a magical metamorphosis.  The fact that I am actually doing this.  It's something that for most of my life I could never even conceive of.  I believe that at some point, somewhere along the line, I really did something right to deserve this happy karma.

Deny, Deny, Deny. Although I know it's true.

I was diagnosed as hypogonadic more than ten years ago, and have attended several local trans groups a few times.

I've had the name and phone number of a local trans-friendly counselor for nearly a decade, but I have never called. I've driven to her office a few time but never went in.

I know with certainty that if I went through that door, I would be declared transgender, recommended for HRT, and eventually probably have SRS.  So I don't go through that door and set off a chain of events.

I know a lot of you prayed to wake up a girl when you were young.  In my case it appears God was listening.  My testosterone is near zero and my estradiol is way above the male range.  Now at age 67, overweight at 250 lbs, SRS would not be an option.

Although I am mostly bald, my body is undeniable female looking.  I have a great set of boobs that are obscured by my 46" waist.  Here again is denial.  If I got down to 170 lbs my boobs and butt would remain and it would be impossible to hide my female characteristics.

 

Totally.

I have always known, always accepted who I was inside. I'm just happy I finally decided to show me outside. Hiding in the world is just a prescription for depression and that which follows.

Archlord, I can understand that sentiment. I'm over the "never will be" part. I'm just looking for peace now in my life.

I said 2.  I accept being trans because I yam what I yam.  I fought it for 60+ years and I'm done with fighting it.  I didn't say 1 because I still wish it weren't so.  Life would be so much easier being cis.

Quote from: archlord on December 22, 2016, 11:19:19 PM
10 . I hate it that no matter what , I'll never be cis like any trans cant .. its a pain that I cant accept but have to deal with it

Yes this is how I feel about it as well, to always know that you will be labelled as trans no mater what is so disheartening. Glad some of you can see past that though, maby i can as well some day but for now 10 it is.

I don't really have a choice in the matter, therefore I accept it for what it is. 

Even if I had a choice, to just be a completely average guy who did not think of gender, I would rather be this way, it sucks, but it is who I am.. and tbh I'm not entirely bad person, I haven't wronged anyone as far as I know, I have a lot of empathy, I may be trans, but that is far from the worst thing out there.  I would rather be TG than a psychopath, or any other number of people who gain pleasure from hurting others.  When I go to sleep, I do so with a clear conscious, I like that - even though it often puts me at a disadvantage. 

The only thing I find a hard time accepting right now, is people in general, I don't hate them, but they scare the hell out of me.

An interesting question to post, one that I have been wrestling with for the past few months. While I fully believe that being cis, of either gender, would be far easier on both me and my partner, but......As it has been so eloquently stated, "I yam what I yam" ( thank you Popeye and Ms. Grace). In the past few months I have progressed from, "ok so I am trans" to "WOW, I just couldn't be happier". The magic of hrt has gifted me with mood swings that swing to both needles on the meter. Last year there were times that I am surprised that I survived. For now and from that perspective, Anne couldn't be happier and am really glad to be alive! - Anne

It is what it is, not accepting will not change anything except to give you a bad life.

another classic inverse bell curve by our little community

Quote from: archlord on December 22, 2016, 11:19:19 PM
10 . I hate it that no matter what , I'll never be cis like any trans cant .. its a pain that I cant accept but have to deal with it

I feel your pain. I really do and it upsets me you will not be satisfied with what you have accomplished thus far. The results have been miraculous. Luckily you are on the young side and with the recent attempt to transplant a female uterus, you do seem to be on a path to success in the future. Be patient, it will happen and your female persona can be fulfilled. In the meantime concentrate on making the inside as beautiful as the outside as that is where the essence exists. All the rest is just scalpels a and sutures.

I don't mind being or accepting myself as Trans. It's the rest of the world that I'd wish would just be cool with it. If I woke up as cis-female tomorrow, that'd be great. But there is something special about being trans that I can't deny - in spite of all the awful crap I've endured.

If I'm honest with myself, I have to say that I don't particularly like the fact that I am a transsexual woman. I would much prefer being a regular ciswoman. I think if I were to be fine with being transsexual, the quality of my life would greatly improve but alas, it is what it is. I can't force myself to feel a certain way. I'm sure I came to internalize this feeling after seeing how others viewed transpeople when I was younger.

I really contemplated my reply for a while which is 1 yet it took me 50 plus years to come to terms with it. At 57 years old the realization came that without gender confirmation surgery I would be a very unhappy person if I didn't transition which would had if asked several years ago my response would had been on the opposite end of the scale.