Oh, that would be amazing!  This must happen, immediately!

I've finally moved out after previously living at home with a not so supportive parent. Yet I still don't feel happy. Maybe it's because I feel like this will be taken away from me. Or maybe it's because I feel like I'll fail. Or maybe it's because I feel l don't know the real me from the the pretend me. Or when they interconnect. On the rare occasions I can socialise is that the real me or am I faking it due to wanting to stop impending anxiety or because I feel like I need to and should socialise. When I act fem am I doing it for myself or other people. Am I playing a part or is that the real me. I've lived so long at home I really don't have any  answers.

I'm thinking that Christmas this year is a lonely and sucky time of year. I've been scrooged out of my job, family is scattered, mother is...mother, health is questionable.  While things could be worse, they aren't rosy either.

At least I won't be around a bunch of people getting neurotic over making Christmas "perfect", and then getting angry when it isn't 

There is a bright side, Susan's can still be festive. Kylo, what would be your 'perfect' Christmas?

Quote from: LordKAT on December 24, 2016, 02:24:50 PM
There is a bright side, Susan's can still be festive. Kylo, what would be your 'perfect' Christmas?

A humble, relaxed one. I wouldn't mind seeing some relatives if they wanted to come over, but they live too far away for that. So just a quiet day, no work, no people getting upset, just chilling out and watching some movies or playing some games or something. My other half is present atm, but even if he wasn't that's still what I'd be doing. Maybe I'll go for a walk before dinner.

When I was a kid my parents had a habit of driving somewhere remote on Xmas and just walking for a few hours out there, or even going on holiday somewhere and spending it "away" from the Xmas hype. I'd either spend Xmas morning out walking with them, or relaxing in the house before they came back. But it's sort of ingrained in me now that I shouldn't just spend it in the house feeling underwhelmed, but to go out and enjoy some daylight or something.

One of the things I used to do with my kids was, on Christmas eve we would go for a drive and just look at all the decorated houses and lights. When we came back, hot cocoa and a snack followed by opening one present before bed. The light drive is still remembered fondly by my kids and was definitely a relaxing time.  I think your walk idea is a good one for a relaxing Christmas celebration.

Nothing wrong with making your own Christmas traditions.

Thinking I'm going to commit an act of violence against that cherry 3.14 on the counter. 

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 26, 2016, 05:46:20 PM
Thinking I'm going to commit an act of violence against that cherry 3.14 on the counter. 

Hmmm?    Please elaborate, photos would help

Well, it was a big piece of pi, but now there's just a chalk outline of it and police tape around the kitchen! 

..and Devlyn with a gold painted halo no doubt.

Ah, sounds precariously similar to the fate of a slice of cheesecake and coffee encountered at my computer desk this morning

Did you use a fork, and was that fork plunged relentlessly with no thought of remorse or consequence into the poor innocent and unsuspecting pi !?!

I haven't spent a day this year without thinking about/doing work on some level.

The hardest thing has been taking 4 days off for Xmas and trying not to think business. I used to be kinda lazy. What happened to me.

2016 is soooo yesterday LOL

I'm extremely lucky to have the support of my wife and kids that I have. I am glad to have finally put the pieces of the puzzle together. I am lucky to find the wisdom intermingled among these pages of Susan's Place. I wish each and everyone reading this gains acceptance and understanding. As I write this my heart is filled with love for everyone here struggling to find themselves.

Thinking another year down and I still don't have a Nobel Peace Prize. It ain't looking good. 

Hugs, Devlyn

I'm suddenly regretting taking two hard science classes the same semester and I haven't even started them. (I mean, I needed to take them EVENTUALLY since I need one for my minor and one to fulfill a Core Classes requirement, but I could have timed them a lot better).

Also, earlier today my mom asked my 13-year old brother for cooking advice and I'm both proud of him and sorry for her.

How do I know that when something happens, it was something that should happen, or just something I imagined, and made happen?

For instance, in the past, whenever I'd decide to be in a relationship, I tended to have a picture of what kind of person I wanted, then that person would appear almost immediately, but after a while I'd feel claustrophobic and want out, then something would happen to end the relationship, and so on.
I now realize that my objections could have been my male side not wanting to play the wife role.

The other day, I was trying, once again, to think up someone to be with who would accept me for what I am, and wouldn't annoy me, and realized I couldn't decide between male or female (I'm androgynous, asexual/demi-sexual), so idly thought the perfect mate would be my ex-husband, but as a female.

When I checked my email that evening, there was an email from my ex saying he was going to transition to female and wanted to get back together.

Then I panicked, and wanted to change my mind, because he was badly behaving when we were last together, but I still seem to want to be with him, so he has continued to say he wants to get back with me.

The problem with our creating our own universe is getting ourselves to WANT the "right" things. But what is "right?" If we create our own universes, aren't we the ones deciding what is right?? ACKKK!

I almost miss my religious days when I was taught that "God" controls everything and we are helpless pawns who must remain passive and obedient.

I'm thinking that eating jalapeño enhanced pork rinds is a VERY bad idea for someone who does not do well with spicy foods.

Owwwwww. My tongue feels like it's been crushed in a vice.

Quote from: Sephirah on January 04, 2017, 06:13:55 PM
I'm thinking that eating jalapeño enhanced pork rinds is a VERY bad idea for someone who does not do well with spicy foods.

Owwwwww. My tongue feels like it's been crushed in a vice.

As someone who also does not deal well with spicy foods, I sympathize with you.