Merry Christmas to all

I posted so long ago and came so far from last posting. I have been living 6 months now full time. Got divorced got a boyfriend moved in with him and continuing with life as a woman. A lot of my support came from people on susan's. I definitely grew as a person and as a woman from my last post.

Well my problem that I have now is my 3 year old's acceptance of me being transgender and a woman. She keeps on calling me papa and not recognizing my gender is there anyone with experience in doing the transition for them and how they would handle dad becoming a mom in the future when they realize what is going on and that I am a woman.

Kind regards

Amore

I don't have a solution for your child other than continued exposure and sometimes ignoring the child when the wrong name is used. You might say "Who do you want? The only one here is is Amore." when the wrong name is used.

Just yesterday for no reason I started to wonder how you were doing. I am glad to hear that you are doing better and I hope that you have a great New Year.

I am glad to see you posting and in such a good place now.

I agree, a gentle redirect sounds appropriate.

Quote from: Dena on December 25, 2016, 09:36:28 AM
I don't have a solution for your child other than continued exposure and sometimes ignoring the child when the wrong name is used. You might say "Who do you want? The only one here is is Amore." when the wrong name is used.

Just yesterday for no reason I started to wonder how you were doing. I am glad to hear that you are doing better and I hope that you have a great New Year.

It have been one hell of a ride. Sitting on Christmas without my child really sucks but I have good company with my partner. I have tried a couple of methods and trying to explain to her that I am not papa but she corrects me.

Life did improve a bit with a couple of surprises. Being female now and living full time is a blast not having to act male anymore and realizing how fake being him was. The only thing that still gets me down is my voice and not having the op yet. I will talk and ask advice about that in another post   Everything else does come natural strange enough the way I act behave and all is just natural and being me and it is so feminine that is just amazing. I thought it would be a lot of adapting. the people around me like my father and brother did not adapt too well and basically wants nothing to do with me.

The problem with my child is she basically gives me away in public because I have passing privilege. I don't mind her calling me papa but in public the combo of her and my voice outs me.

You might try a reward system/game where when you go out, if your child calls you by the right name, she is given a reward at the end of the day. Starting out, you allow more mistakes and only a few proper usages are sufficient for the reward. The reward could be ice cream or candy, nothing large but sufficient to interest her.

You might also consider something different to call yourself like  Mandy, similar to daddy but with a feminine twist.

It helps to understand that she may not be misgendering as she is calling you by your name. A young child sees papa as a name, not a title kind of thing. It may help if you tell her you changed your name and it would make you happy if she used your new name.  It also helps if others around you call you by  whatever you want her to call you. I hope her other mom is on board and calling you by your new name. That can be the biggest influence.

Amore,

it's good to have you back.

I know it's quite an age difference but I told my 10 year old, that I will always be her father, still I prefer if she is no calling me Papa anymore because I feel uncomfortable. She still calls me Papa sometimes, she was used to it for a very long time, but we are gradually switching to Mapa or my name.

So give her time, but insist that you don't want to be called Papa any longer.

Hugs,
Thessa


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Hey girl, i would like to add on to what someone here has mentioned. The calling you ''papa'' is seem more of an actual name as opposed to a gender-ized title of relation. When i was your childs age i thought that my dads name was actually dad, same goes for my mama. Just explain you changed your name and you would appreciate her addressing you by your new name. Hugs!

Thanks for all the feedback I will try the reward thing with her

My 6 year old loves to call me Josie while my almost 8 year old tends to call me dad. My older daughter just thinks of it as a name while my younger daughter thinks calling me Josie is such a fun game. Although we have to remind her not to do it in certain situations where I have to still act male.

I'm kind of in a similar situation with my 3 year old. Given I'm not anywhere near being full time yet, but making the transition an easy adjustment for her is important. My wife and I talked and I'm in the full belief that I should not be taking the mom title. One because it might be more confusing for our daughter and two, I'm not the one who gave birth to her. So our solution is to come up with another nickname that is more feminine than dad. I'm still trying to figure out a name, but I have time.

So coming up with another nickname might be better, because mom is already taken.


Edit: just came up with an idea. You could. Use mom in a different language.

Depends on the personality of the child, but maybe you could explain there are bad people out there so you need to be addressed by a secret code name?

I would steer clear of any behavior mod approach it's especially important for kids that age to recognize that love is unconditional and I would see papa as an expression of relationship.

She will eventually get to the age when she understands gender well enough that she'll start to use correct pronouns, I'd say wait until she starts to recognize that and maybe then mama will become the name she uses more easily.