Hi,

I'm new to this site. Born as a girl, I have only lately realized that I'm happier when percieved as a boy. (I'm 35, btw.) But I don't experience any strong negative feelings about being a girl, either. Sure, I don't care much for the feminine shape of my body, in particular my hips and boobs. I got a binder and like it better. I slimmed down and like it better. I cut my hair and like it better, too. But anyway. It's not as if I have depression or feel terrible when addressed as a girl.

Now am I still trans, or something else, or is it just some self-induced confusion. Something in the lines "she doesn't know what she wants but she wouldn't be happy until she gets it" (IDK if there is such saying in English but you probably get the meaning ). Maybe it's just that I came across many life stories of trans people and now I subconsciously think I am one, too.

Okay, looking back I can see that I wasn't a typical girl as a child and teen. I did not relate well to other girls. But then again I did not relate to peers, period. I was smart, shy, a bit chubby and not into sports, moredrn music and other things that were "in". I also never cared much for dresses and make-up. But I'm not sure it's in any way gender-related.

I definitely love being "mistaken" for a boy. But does this go beyond the vanity of appearance? I dont know.

Do you think it's a thing? Or should I better try to forget all this stuff and get back to my happy little life? Does anyone have / or did have similar doubts?

Thank you for your comments.

Hi Theo,

Working out who we are is a real struggle, and working out our dysphoria is challenging too - it's a part of our journey.

QuoteI don't care much for the feminine shape of my body, in particular my hips and boobs. I got a binder and like it better. I slimmed down and like it better. I cut my hair and like it better, too.

Dysphoria is being uneasy with an aspect of ourselves, that is related to gender, so your shape, and the fact that you felt better when you tried a binder, cut your hair short and more, are all indicative of dysphoria.

QuoteNow am I still trans...

Probably, yes,and this is where a therapist will help.

QuoteMaybe it's just that I came across many life stories of trans people and now I subconsciously think I am one, too.

There is an expression in English - it takes one to know one - what it means is that something in those stories is resonating with you, and subconsciously your reading material is probably seeking that affirmation, for yourself.

QuoteI definitely love being "mistaken" for a boy.

The opposite to dysphoria (our unease) is euphoria - joy when accidental misgendering occurs. For me, the joy I felt being misgendered on a furniture order was exquisite, and also created a cloud of questions - many of which I am still starting to unravel.

QuoteDo you think it's a thing?

QuoteDoes anyone have / or did have similar doubts?

As you read around, you'll discover that your questions and experiences are very familiar, although many of our journeys are different.

With love

Rowan

Hi, Theo.  Chances are you probably are somewhere on the trans spectrum.  They say cis people never wonder about their gender.  So if you are wondering, you are probably trans.

This is where a gender therapist can help you: figuring out whether you are trans and, if so, what your path might be to becoming fully yourself.

There are many non binary transgender identities which may fit you. This is a general guide http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Main_Page. You might also want to check out the non binary network blog on tumblr and youtube and see if they have answers to what you're feeling.

There are two types of dysphoria: social and physical. Some trans people have both to varying degrees of severity and some only have one of these. If you simply feel more comfortable presenting as another gender to which you were assigned this would also make you trans.

Quote from: Sno on December 27, 2016, 05:14:26 AM
The opposite to dysphoria (our unease) is euphoria

Oh! An epiphany!  I knew the word euphoria of course, but I have never put it in connection with dysphoria which was new term for me. That makes sense. I definitely have this euphoria. Thanks.

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 27, 2016, 06:44:00 AM
This is where a gender therapist can help you

Thank you, I also thought about it. But as far as I know we don't have any specifially gender therapists here. And I'm somewhat reluctant to go to sexology counselling b/c there are some stories about how they are frozen in waaaay old opinions and views. Maybe I'll try to find some more friendly therapist online. Even if it's paid service. But in US or somewhere.

Elis, thank you too for the link and advise. I'm going to check it.

Welcome to the site!

I want to share an article that was hugely helpful for me in helping me become comfortavle with my identity after I began to realize I was trans:

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9318754

There is no one-size-fits-all definition for how we're affected by our dysphoria. Like trans people, it comes in all shapes and sizes.

Quote from: theo_cz on December 27, 2016, 02:10:39 AM
Hi,

I'm new to this site. Born as a girl, I have only lately realized that I'm happier when percieved as a boy. (I'm 35, btw.) But I don't experience any strong negative feelings about being a girl, either. Sure, I don't care much for the feminine shape of my body, in particular my hips and boobs. I got a binder and like it better. I slimmed down and like it better. I cut my hair and like it better, too. But anyway. It's not as if I have depression or feel terrible when addressed as a girl.

Now am I still trans, or something else, or is it just some self-induced confusion. Something in the lines "she doesn't know what she wants but she wouldn't be happy until she gets it" (IDK if there is such saying in English but you probably get the meaning ). Maybe it's just that I came across many life stories of trans people and now I subconsciously think I am one, too.

Okay, looking back I can see that I wasn't a typical girl as a child and teen. I did not relate well to other girls. But then again I did not relate to peers, period. I was smart, shy, a bit chubby and not into sports, moredrn music and other things that were "in". I also never cared much for dresses and make-up. But I'm not sure it's in any way gender-related.

I definitely love being "mistaken" for a boy. But does this go beyond the vanity of appearance? I dont know.

Do you think it's a thing? Or should I better try to forget all this stuff and get back to my happy little life? Does anyone have / or did have similar doubts?

Thank you for your comments.

AshleyC, thank you for welcome and for the article. It's really quite helpful.