Hello all i hope everyone had a good holiday!  Unfortunately i feel like i am not in a great place and i need some help i suffer from depression anxiety and ptsd,  next week i have an apt with a dr to get me on anti depressants and something for anxiety and the urge of my therapist and my spouse (which i agree with) the thing is that i am nervous about talking to her because i don't want to talk about being trans(even though that's were a lot of my anxiety and depression lie) but i feel like i have to for that reason being stealth might be hurting me, i constantly feel scared that i will be found out and now they want me to openly talk about something i feel is no ones business.  with the added anxiety and increased sadness i am feeling lately not to mention the idea that any trans woman i see on the internet is so much prettier and more successful (i know its in my head)  and i know the dr. just wants to help i feel crippled by anxiety and i keep crying.  like most of my posts i dont know what i am looking for maybe someone else is going through the same thing and you have a story without a solution as well.  I guess i just wanted to talk

I hope everyone is well
Alice

Well, you could talk to her about issues without naming them specifically and see if she takes the hint or if she has any suggestions. But it's one of those problems that if it's not in the open, at least between you and the medical people, it's hard to deal with at all.

Anything you discuss with the therapist should be confidential, even from your spouse. If you can bring yourself to discuss your gender with the therapist it is likely you will feel much better. My experience has been that the more people who know about me, the less anxiety I feel generally. The fear of the reactions of others is nearly always worse than the reaction itself. There is no better feeling than acceptance, unfortunately that is not guaranteed with the people in your life but it should be automatic for a professional therapist.

Best of luck
Hugs
B