I'm a little more than 4 months on T, and I've just been really impatient. I'm still gendered as female by strangers 90% of the time, and while I've definitely seen some muscle growth, my body still looks female and my voice, while it has dropped, is still not really in the male range, considering yesterday while talking on the phone I was referred to as "ma'am".

I guess I'm worried that, despite the fact that I have visible, albeit small, changes from testosterone, that I'm never going to look male and I'm never going to be happy with myself. I wonder if there's the possibility that T just won't work for me - is this a possibility, or do I just need to be patient? And how do I deal with waiting?

T works well initially for some people, for some people it takes more time. If passing is important to you, have you made any other appearance adjustments in terms of hair, clothing? Are you working out at all? You could consider posting in the "Do I pass?" thread and getting some advice there.

Quote from: FTMax on December 28, 2016, 08:21:12 AM
T works well initially for some people, for some people it takes more time. If passing is important to you, have you made any other appearance adjustments in terms of hair, clothing? Are you working out at all? You could consider posting in the "Do I pass?" thread and getting some advice there.

I have a masculine haircut and wear masculine clothing. I work out a ton. I think part of it is the fact that I'm 5', much shorter than average.

I don't really want to post a picture of my face, though.

Four months is still pretty early. It seems like somewhere between 6 months to a year is the window where things start to improve for most people. Changes on T also don't max out until 5 years on, so for some guys it may take a little longer.

Not sure how old you are, but think back to your first puberty and how long that took. You're essentially chemically inducing a second puberty while at the same time trying to suppress the hormone that your body naturally produces. So it's going to take some time unfortunately.

Quote from: FTMax on December 28, 2016, 08:54:29 AM
Four months is still pretty early. It seems like somewhere between 6 months to a year is the window where things start to improve for most people. Changes on T also don't max out until 5 years on, so for some guys it may take a little longer.

Not sure how old you are, but think back to your first puberty and how long that took. You're essentially chemically inducing a second puberty while at the same time trying to suppress the hormone that your body naturally produces. So it's going to take some time unfortunately.

That makes sense. I'm 22, and was actually on hormone blockers (not for trans-related reasons) for a little while to prevent me from starting puberty early because I was taking another medication that wouldn't work if I started puberty. So my first puberty was somewhat different than others', I guess.

But I know I just need to be patient.

Me Pre-T: consistently passing as a 12-14 year old (I was 18)

Me roughly 4-8 months on T: gendered 90% as female (I had a REALLY rough time around this point because of abuse/relationship problems but the misgendering made my self-esteem drop even more and made my mental problems even worse than they already were) around this time I had to wear the most masculine things and I tried SO HARD to pass but I couldn't. Particularly painful considering my pre-T passing rate

Me 1 yr+: gendered as male much more frequently, once facial hair picked up I began to be able to experiment more with presentation, etc. People still thought I was 15-16, MAYBE 17. (Real age: 19) With certain people and certain company, I did pass less. A certain store for example always the staff misgendered me.

Me now, 2+ years on T: beard progressing nicely, read as male 100% despite doing/wearing feminine things, I can wear pink now if I want, etc. Read as my age consistently, been offered drinks before without ID (Real Age: 20)

Note: my voice STILL doesnt pass. I get misgendered on the phone and drive throughs. BUT in person, nobody questions my voice. I've got dysphoria over it but it doesn't hinder my passing.

Basically what I'm saying is that testosterone works but it works slowly. And it's actually a common experience that somewhere around 3-9 months (it's different for everyone) testosterone can actually hurt passing for a bit. It's from the whole chubby puffy face stage. Once that stage passes, people find themselves passing a LOT more consistently, it just takes a few months to get there.

I have a friend who I think is roughly 4-5 months on T now? He always struggled with passing and still does. It's common for 4 months. Some guys get lucky and in 3 months they're bears who pass perfectly but for the vast majority of guys it just doesn't work that quickly. But it WILL start to work, just gotta be patient. A year will be there before you know it and you'll look back and see all the changes. I still can't believe I'm over 2 years now, it feels like just yesterday! Even at 2 years I'm still logging changes (mostly in body/facial hair, acne, and fat distribution). I believe I read that things like voice and lower growth finish by 2 years (but not always) and then some things like hair and fat distribution may not stop changing until  5-10 years in. It takes a while for hormones to work their magic.

As for dealing with it, my best thing was to focus on what HAS changed. Keep records of things like voice, hair, etc. And look back on them. For example my first voice drop came around 3 months and my biggest drop around 5. Listening to that big drop helped me see that even if things haven't changed enough yet, they ARE changing.

I have/had the same worries but I know I've not been on T long enough to judge - 5 years seems to be the limit for changes. I've not reached the 3 month mark yet but already lot of changes are taking place. Going by what people say on the boards just about everyone will experience most of the expected changes, maybe not every single one but I haven't seen a post yet where someone says T did nothing for them and they never pass after 1-5 years.

I was very impatient and was constantly obsessing over every little physical change. I only started passing when I was around the 7/8 month mark and was disappointed that I didn't look like the other trans guys at 6 months or earlier. What I have to remember is that those people are the minority and only seem like the norm due to social media. Only recently can I just about recognise myself in the mirror and begin to like what I see. Although I still have no noticeable facial hair. The first year is definitely the hardest; you'll see changes one day and be unable to notice them the next; especially voice changes. I find it best not to take pics or voice recordings of the changes bcos I know I'll obsess over them. I prefer to simply distract myself with clothes or getting my hair cut and just not thinking about what the T is doing.

One thing that might be helpful - take a daily picture of yourself if you haven't already. Put them all together as a slideshow so you can look at them evolve over time. Changes don't all happen overnight, so this might be a cool way of noticing the minute differences week to week in terms of your appearance.

2 months in and impatient as well, but I am taking the small changes as a positive. Some facial hair starting on the chin, muscle definition changing without any real workouts. Voice has hit a huge drop in the last few days, but sounds really rough I think because I am not used to the range yet. I still worry about the final outcome, I am 5'2" and chunky but then i know several cis guys not much taller than me. But I feel better, more confident and like I "fit" better in my skin n head

You remember those guys in middle school that practically had full beards? They were far and few between, sure, but they existed. At a time when most of the boys were chubby/awkward/pimply, some were already sort of muscular and tall. Some had huge feet and hands but, with the rest of their spindly frame, looked like bony little Great Dane puppies. Others didn't really seem to grow at all and stayed baby-faced well into high school, only really coming into themselves in their mid twenties.
Now, our circumstances are slightly different (for those of us that started well after our first puberty, anyway) in that our hands/feet won't substantially enlarge and we won't get any taller. All of the other stuff, though? It comes in waves just like it did for every other guy.

Personally, I got lucky as hell in the voice department; mine dropped almost immediately and, within four months, I sounded like an adult male. Currently, my voice is deeper than 90% of the guys I know. I couldn't be gendered female if I wanted to at this point.
Facial hair? Not so much yet. I've got a lot growing under my chin but it's still patchy as ****. My sideburns are sad. I have a mustache (which is ironically the only thing I didn't want) and I refuse to shave it because it's all I have.
I'm very muscular these days but I've also been busting my balls at the gym 4-5 days a week for a year. Overall, I've considered myself very lucky on most fronts... and yet, even still, I went through a similar phase to you where I looked at other trans guys and thought, 'wtf, when is it going to be -my- turn to see a man in the mirror?'. This happened the most around the 4-8 month mark. The initial elation of starting T had worn off around 4 months in and, almost immediately afterwards, I got deep into 'moon face' territory.
It's frustrating. It's impossible not to compare yourself to everyone else, too, at a time when it's most important that you don't. But cis males go through the exact same thing:

Tall guy: "Man, seriously? He can grow a beard? FML."
Short bearded guy: "Ugh, I wish I could be half his height. ***hole."

The truth is, everyone's wishing and wanting and hoping just as much as you are for that next 'magical' change. And when/if that change comes, our sights are often set elsewhere to something 'bigger and better'. It's just human nature.
You'll get there, man. The cure just happens to require a lot of patience.

I'd like to add that around 4 months, you're likely suffering from water retention from the T too. I know I had a really puffy, round face from T around that time, which went away after half a year to a year or so. A puffy face like that sure doesn't help with passing, but it does help to know it'll go away.

I've heard of some guys who didn't past 100% until beyond the 1 year mark. Obviously it's different for everyone, but 4 months is still very early so just give it some time and try not to worry about it too much. It's hard to be patient, but believe me, T really works miracles regardless of how long it may seem to take.

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