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Breaking up and continue to transition

Started by Mikka55, December 25, 2016, 04:48:06 PM

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Mikka55

I don't like bringing up my personal problems to a forum, but this is not about my relationship, it's about my transition.
Me and my GF were on a break for a few months now. Yesterday (Yes Christmas eve) I have finally decided to end the relationship.  For the most part she is very supportive even as a friend now.
Now that we are broken up, how can I be strong and continue my transition ?  I know she supports me, but its not the same as having a gf that support me.  I know 80% is my decision to transition and the rest 20% is thru support, so now that I am "alone" in this journey,  how can I do it alone? Yeah I do have friends who support me but most of them are busy everyday.  It will be hard, but how can I overcome it.


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SailorMars1994

Not to come across as condesending but you will have to be self reliant on your transition in many ways. Strength comes from within and yes having a good backing will help boost your self worth, but unless you find your true strength within your expecations will be harder. This coming from someone who actually had no self worth for years (not implying you dont have any). Good friends make a world of difference and hopefully you can see them on a normal basis, perhaps set a time and a date to meet up with one or a few at certian points on your monthly agenda.  To get a good network behind you , you may have to break out into your community. I see you live in Toronto Ontario which is awseome, perhaps contacting support groups and making new friends  going through similar things you are too will help your transition as it would provide extra support.  I am happy you and your ex can remain friends! sadly a lot of people here lose their signifigant others during their journey
AMAB Born: March 1994
Gender became on radar: 2007
Admitted to self : 2010
Came out: May 12 2014
Estrogen: October 16 2015
<3
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Rachel

Go to group and make friends. Volunteer at LGBT activities and make friends.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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JoanneB

I found the strength to continue on this journey through my TG Support group and the couple of angels there that helped me when I most needed it.

Just be sure not to equate a cheering squad with true support.
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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AshleyC

I'm in Toronto as well, and while I have yet to make the leap to seeking out a group to call my own quite yet, the city has a thriving LGBTQ community. I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding strength in numbers here!

Having a girlfriend to support you is wonderful, of course, but your real strength comes from inside. You had the strength to begin this journey, even knowing what the obstacles and realities are. I know you have what it takes to see it through!

Additionally, you always have us to cheer you on!
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Angela Drakken

I get it, I do.
I've often fretted my (very small) support network one day not being there. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea that as strong as we can be, everyone needs a hand sometime, or even just 5 minutes to vent at someone who isn't just being paid to hear it and may genuinely care. I have crippling anxiety about visiting the local support groups in Ontario, specifically PFLAG Durham, and simply not 'fitting in' there either..

Sometimes, you just can't get your feet wet without rain, you gotta find the river and dive in. Just keep your head above the water ;)

Strange as it sounds, we're all here for ya too.
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Amoré

All you need is a very small support group and a lot of persistence. I too had my wife ripped out of my life about a year ago it only drove me further to transition as she was not in my way anymore. I got support on susan's that helped me through some tuff times when I wanted to call it quits and end my life. I met some people on here that became good friends and we chatted days away on fb. You are your biggest support without yourself you can't do this so stay strong and persist.


Excuse me for living
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AnxietyDisord3r

Quote from: Mikka55 on December 25, 2016, 04:48:06 PM
I don't like bringing up my personal problems to a forum, but this is not about my relationship, it's about my transition.
Me and my GF were on a break for a few months now. Yesterday (Yes Christmas eve) I have finally decided to end the relationship.  For the most part she is very supportive even as a friend now.
Now that we are broken up, how can I be strong and continue my transition ?  I know she supports me, but its not the same as having a gf that support me.  I know 80% is my decision to transition and the rest 20% is thru support, so now that I am "alone" in this journey,  how can I do it alone? Yeah I do have friends who support me but most of them are busy everyday.  It will be hard, but how can I overcome it.

You are strong -- you can do this! You can love and value yourself.
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Mikka55

A BIG Thank You for everyone in this forum.  Yes its been a few days and I have peace with myself. 
I figured what ever I did in the past 6 years in my relationship before I started transitioning (The Male Me), had a major role why we separated.
Now that I started HRT my mind opened and I just couldn't lie to my GF anymore.  I was an A-Hole for the past 6 years, also why I hated to be a male. 
I transitioned to better myself, and I guess it has, I guess the old me is dead.  Its my journey and its what makes me happy and become a  better person.  It will be tough but i'm doing it for me.
Happy New Year Everyone


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Raell

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