My family has been handling things alright some people just give fake acceptance but i'll take what i can get with my family. Although this morning i was given something with real true acceptance to it it meant a lot to me and i was very happy. Accept a side of me started getting nervous and feeling uneasy i couldn't believe they did what they did and meant it but at the same time my brain went "I'm scared" i don't know where this is coming from i'm on HRT
I'm happier on hrt but here i am feeling nervous with family who truly accept me but also happy?
And when it comes to strangers I NEVER have problems with it and i don't even feel nervous i just feel completely happy beyond what family could even do.
Mind you i never got along with some family and i still don't but they are not completely horrible so maybe i'm being stupid? i don't know why i feel this with family and was wondering if anyone could help me clear up what may be creating this problem still.

Whether you always get along with family or not, you have a bigger emotional investment in them than a stranger. There is more at stake if they don't accept you. Of course, it will take longer for it to get comfortable for you. It is totally normal, what you are experiencing. The good news is that it will get easier and easier.
Monica

Quote from: HappyMoni on January 08, 2017, 02:22:17 PM
Whether you always get along with family or not, you have a bigger emotional investment in them than a stranger. There is more at stake if they don't accept you. Of course, it will take longer for it to get comfortable for you. It is totally normal, what you are experiencing. The good news is that it will get easier and easier.
Monica

Not exactly what i'm trying to explain, although that's my fault for writing this out when i was still exhausted.
One thing a person should understand about me is i have no emotional connection to my family that was destroyed when i was a young teenager it's never been the same.

So saying it's because i have a stronger emotional investment in them would be invalid
But i completely understand how people would come to that conclusion because it normally would be the cause.
I don't feel investment towards family in fact iv'e always been very distant. I'm also leaving soon enough and won't be having contact with them after a couple of months after leaving.

I'm the kind of person when it comes to family people would look down upon because i don't have that stereotypical family "Values" or family beliefs but that is own choice and i'm fine with that choice and i'm happy.

I just am wanting to understand why my feelings aren't that connection
but i'm still feeling this strange awkwardness when they actually do accept me mixed with happiness. 
Or maybe i'm unsure what you're trying to say either way i'm confused with my brains reaction to this seemingly contentious problem/feeling.

I know exactly how you feel.  My brother the other day asked if he should start calling me Denise.  That set me back a little.

For me when my family starts calling me Denise, the old Dan will be 100% gone.  For me that's a little scary since that's all I've known for 1/2 century.  For some people here on Susan's they wish their family would recognize them for who they are.  For me, it's reassuring but still kinda strange to lose that tie.

Maybe because you're aware of all the past with them and their potential judgements no stranger is going to have at that level. If you know they have not been completely serious or accepting till now, doubt and suspicion is natural when they start doing it.