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Mini-break before RLE

Started by Megan., January 08, 2017, 04:31:36 AM

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Megan.

For those that started RLE in the workplace, did you take a few days holiday between leaving work as your old self and returning?
I'm currently planning to finish on a Friday as old-me and go back on Monday as real-me, is this practical?
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Cindy

Quote from: meganjames2 on January 08, 2017, 04:31:36 AM
For those that started RLE in the workplace, did you take a few days holiday between leaving work as your old self and returning?
I'm currently planning to finish on a Friday as old-me and go back on Monday as real-me, is this practical?

My story is on the site. I was revealed as Cindy on Friday, I arrived as her (me) at work on the Monday.
People were lovely.

I had no doubts. I had no fear. I was being me. I was proud.

I was accepted with love.

As I accept everyone.

Cindy
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Megan.

Tnx Cindy, I'm really not too concerned, my team and management already know and have all been great. Aside getting a final haircut and maybe ears pierced, I'm kinda ready to go any time 😊.
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KarynMcD

I just eased into it. Slowly changing my appearance over a number of months. When I was ready to wear dresses, I officially came out to my director and then a little while later I sent out an email to everyone I deal with.
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Michelle_P

Quote from: meganjames2 on January 08, 2017, 04:31:36 AM
For those that started RLE in the workplace, did you take a few days holiday between leaving work as your old self and returning?
I'm currently planning to finish on a Friday as old-me and go back on Monday as real-me, is this practical?

I'm retired, and so playing transition on the EASY setting, but I am president of a 70 member organization, a volunteer instructor, and a lecturer on tech stuff.

When I started the transition, I let everyone know, directly, through e-mail, and via social media depending on how close I was with them.  I skipped the next general meeting and let my VP read my short 'coming out' announcement, providing her with a stack of one-page handouts.  I did this to avoid derailing the business meeting into an 'all about me' session.

They first met Michelle a few weeks later at a social event, and my next business meeting is on Tuesday.  For the instructor program, I just showed up as another volunteer instructor and signed up to teach a class.  Nobody batted an eye.  For the lecturer gig, I just provided them my C.V. and photo, one of the avatar pics I used here. Again, no issues.  I'm at the top of the next place's Speakers web page.  Cant get any more out than this! 

http://www.mdarc.org/activities/club-meetings/speakers

I'd bet in any reasonable workplace with HR support, that the weekend switch will go just fine.  Just show up, be yourself, and do the job as usual.   

Megan, you've shown some amazing strength here in the past.  You're going to do great.  You'll be fine.

Go get 'em, kid!  ;)



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Megan.

Wow Michelle, that's great 😊.
Everyone at work has been great so far, and we do have some great legal protection in the UK, which is very comforting. I do wonder if I've got too much confidence, is that possible? Could I be heading for a fall haha.
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Michelle_P

Quote from: meganjames2 on January 08, 2017, 04:30:35 PM
Wow Michelle, that's great [emoji4].
Everyone at work has been great so far, and we do have some great legal protection in the UK, which is very comforting. I do wonder if I've got too much confidence, is that possible? Could I be heading for a fall haha.

In all seriousness, if you do get whacked with a setback, a rude person in the workplace, offensive prank, or some such, just get to a quiet place for a little while and think about how far you've come, how much your life has changed since you started your journey.  You've already accomplished so much.

In life, it's always two steps forward, one back.  The point is to keep moving forward toward the goal even after a setback.

Pull your determination together and push through the setbacks.  You're doing incredibly well.

But, I bet there won't be any problems on that Monday or any of the following Mondays. ;) You've got this, girl!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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kaitylynn

I originally came out to a couple of people in my office (my boss included), stopped cutting my hair and started HRT.  After my chest developed to a point that it did not make sense to try hiding, I changed my name and gender via court order and I am now me at work...no break.  It was strange the first meeting we had when everyone not in the know was trying to figure out who Kat was.  They figured it out pretty quick and it has been smooth ever since.

I am sort of fortunate that I wear issued uniforms for work, but do show up to our meetings in my tight jeans and fitted V neck shirts.  In the end, you deserve respect for being a sentient being, at the least.
Katherine Lynn M.

You've got a light that always guides you.
You speak of hope and change as something good.
Live your truth and know you're not alone.

The restart - 20-Oct-2015
Legal name and gender change affirmed - 27-Sep-2016
Breast Augmentation (Dr. Gupta) - 27-Aug-2018
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Inarasarah

I talked with everyone on my team at work before coming out, all the way up to the CFO of the company (let's just say it is a pretty big software company) and then I left work Friday as the old me, and started Monday as the new me.  Now I had been living as the new me outside of work for several months so that made it easier to just do it.

Now I was fortunate to work for a company with an outstanding record for diversity in the workplace and a strong LGBT presence and that was in 2003. :)
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Claire_Sydney

I spoke one-on-one to our HR department, my boss, and also to 6 people I trust at work at the beginning of transition. I told another 20 or so about six weeks before changing my name and presentation at work. These were the people that I wanted to hear the news directly from me.

I did take two weeks off work while they sorted everything out. I prepared a mailing list in advance of people that needed to be advised of my new name to avoid confusion. HR and I worked together to get the wording for the email just right over a few months before. It was sent by the CEO to everyone on the list which included internal and external business contacts. It was over a thousand people which was frightening as hell - but you can't change your name and expect people not to notice.

Some consultants came in and delivered diversity training for about 120 people that I work directly with whilst I was away. This was an opportunity for everyone to ask questions in a safe place with no judgement about what it means to be trans and why people transition their gender. It was intentionally conducted in small groups. I can see why it made sense to be away during this time while people were figuring it all out, probably revisiting every interaction they ever had with me, asking dumb questions about what it means to be a man or a woman, and probably gossiping a bit. There was no sense in my being there for that.

Work kindly offered to pay me whilst I was away from the office on break. I decided to take unpaid leave as they had already invested so much more money and effort than I felt I deserved to make my transition easy going.

The first day back was terrifying. There is no sugar coating it. I had been living female outside of work for several months, and couldn't conceal breast growth any longer. Still... turning up to work for the first time in female clothes and my wig was scary as hell.

But everyone has been awesome. I received hundreds and hundreds of emails and messages of support, and cards and gifts. I feel like the people (if there are any) who are angry or confused by my transition are hiding in the corner keeping their xenophobia to themselves. All the things I was scared of never really eventuated - which has been the story of my whole transition really. It was great.

We missed a few people out by accident. Our security teams and the staff at the cafes are contractors, and didn't get any notification. It was a bit of a shock for them. Our HR department changed all the payroll records, phone directories, my voicemail, email, security passes, etc while I was away. They also briefed our reception on how to handle calls asking for me by my old name.

Four months on, and I'm completely adjusted to my new identity in the workplace. I barely even think about it. I'm back to complaining about bad coffee and researching vacation destinations when I should be working. [emoji4]

Problems sometimes arise with old documentation and people who have joined the workplace since I transitioned, but I always just refer to it as my old name, and let others think whatever they will about me.

I'm pretty happy with how things turned out. I don't ever want to leave my employer.

All the best for your workplace transition! When does it all happen?

Hugs!

Claire


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Ms Grace

I worked in a small progressive community organisation, the staff were mostly women anyway! The boss and a couple of close colleagues already knew well in advance. When I was ready to make the jump I told my boss and organised a low key outing with my other colleagues. They took it pretty well! lol

It's fast coming up to the third anniversary actually.

I did take two days off just to deal with personal stuff, telling my parent (way more terrifying), etc. The following Monday I arrived at work as Grace and they had cake to welcome me. It was wonderful, simply wonderful. There were some misgenderings and dead naming along the way but that was to be expected... some of them had worked with me for 14 years.

Overall I felt very respected and accepted. Although I no longer work there I still see many of those women socially for regular dinners and catch ups.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Megan.

Claire, it sounds like it went really well for you. My employer is a multi-national with good LGBT policies, and they've been great so far.
As for when, April is the plan, but it will depend on my two young children, they don't yet know, and if they struggle with things I'll back off until it feels right.
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soon2b

Exactly what I did. My thought process was this would give administration 3 wks, to inform the rest of the employees and maybe point out some policies, making it easier for them and myself. Believe me when I say given my history the last person any would ever think would transition was me. I knew they would need time to wrap their heads around this..bit of a hard butt, tough guy type that ran to problems not away. (Literally) We wear vests for protection at work and the clothing is easy since it is more tactical in nature, so hiding the changes, other than my hair was easy.
On the 8th of Sept.I told my immediate coworkers, left a few hrs later for 3 weeks of elk hunting. 1 week prior I told HR of my plans and asked them to send my preferred name notice out thru email on 9 sept. Well HR did not do that because our very big boss stopped them. I work for the Federal gov. for the agency that is extremely involved in lgbt laws nationwide.
I was ticked off when I came back. I had a meeting with the directors and hr..it went horrible, I demanded a 2nd meeting by stating "before this gets ugly and I destroy careers  I want another meeting" During the meeting I told administration that I was shocked how many of my tough guy co workers were treating me with the utmost respect but administration was not, that is the nice version of what was said lol. After the meeting the email went out and my email address  was changed.  In the 2 1/2 weeks between all of this a lot of rumours went around and I had to answer a bunch of questions from others.
That all did not really matter much because since 4 Nov I am legally Sarabeth.
I am extremely lucky to have the coworkers that I have and am honestly in danger on a daily basis due to my transition and the perception of some of the people I encounter at work (not coworkers) but it would have been easier if things had gone the way the I asked them to go. So it is weird, a bunch of things went wrong but I am happy and very glad I told my immediate coworkers before going on leave.
My "timeline that I had in my head wasn't worth a dang. Came out at work, full time, name change and upcoming BA, BBL and body contour are all happening about 4 months, repectively, earlier than I "planned".

Good luck to you

Saabeth
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Megan.

Sarabeth, I'm glad you got there in the end, despite the bumps!
I've spoken with another person who went full-time with my employer last year, and I'm now planning to work from home the week before, so I can get IDs and HR system changes made before I go back in.
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soon2b

Quote from: meganjames2 on January 12, 2017, 05:48:30 AM
Sarabeth, I'm glad you got there in the end, despite the bumps!
I've spoken with another person who went full-time with my employer last year, and I'm now planning to work from home the week before, so I can get IDs and HR system changes made before I go back in.

Megan (love your name!)
That is great that you have that oppurtunity, it will really help....have fun!
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