In the course of being hired by a new company, I had to fill out background investigation paperwork. I brought it to the company's security officer today, and she indicated one more item I had to fill out... information about my spouse and date of marriage, etc. I wrote the answers about my wife and handed it back. Then she said I still needed to add more: "It asks for his date and place of birth."

His. As far as she could tell, it went without saying I'd been married to a man, since I was obviously a woman (and presumed heterosexual). My gender was not called into question. I used to despair I'd ever reach this. It's still such a great relief to be reminded that it's working!

Posted on: January 25, 2008, 07:44:04 PM

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It just got even better.

I went to talk with a new therapist. This was a domestic abuse counselor, I didn't mention anything about trans. She talked with me for an hour, and asked me a series of questions for the initial assessment. One question she asked me: "Have you ever been hospitalized, apart from childbirth?"

She took it for granted that I could have given birth. Wow I'm good.

I found out it was going well when I tried to use my bank.  They wouldn't let me cash a check because "he" had to be there.  I had to pull out my id and start a very vauge description of what was going on.  It flatterd me more then embarassing me.  Makes you feel good.

Quote from: jessi73 on January 29, 2008, 07:54:05 AM
I found out it was going well when I tried to use my bank.  They wouldn't let me cash a check because "he" had to be there.  I had to pull out my id and start a very vauge description of what was going on.  It flatterd me more then embarassing me.  Makes you feel good.

I had to pretend to be my own husband at a video store once. That's when I figured it was time to change the name on the account.

Dennis

I ordered a package to my new name, though its not legally changed. When I went to claim it I, of course, had no ID to that name (only my legal one). So I tell them I'm here for x package for y name. They bring it up and ask for the mail card thingy. I give it. Then they ask for ID. I show them my ID, and they argue for 5 minutes how it's not my ID (because of name mismatch) and how they can't give me the package.

I had to say that 'changing name legally is hard to do' and they eventually caught on, excused themselves and gave me the package though they said I should order them to my legal name until its changed.

They thought the ID wasn't mine although the pic looks more or less like me.

I remember 1 occasion many years ago myself and some other girls went on a visit to the UK, we went to the races on Ladies Day all dressed up in beautiful outfits and hats lol, I made a big effort to really look my best, I remember wearing the most gorgeous lemon hat with matching dress, jacket and shoes, when I was in the runner up in 10, it made me feel on top of the world, because I was seen as a beautiful dressed lady, only 1 other person that day knew I was trans, nobody else knew, well I didn't win, but I'v often wondered to this day, if I won, and if the judges and the other ladies found out about my past would I have been disqualifed, I think the embarrassment would have caused me a lot of pain, OMG living in stealth, in resent times its become a big issue for me, sorry for going off thread.
Anyway Ladies Day, that day, I really enjoyed the moment, men treating me, just like a real woman.
p

omg,  just yesterday I had to take one of my boys to the doctors. The nurse asked for insurance card.. I handed her mine which still had my bio name on it.  She looks at it for a minute, starts filling out the paperwork, looks up at me and said "and you are?"  I just gave her my new name.  She looked up again and said "and you're his mother, right?"  Wow, I must look better than I thought! You go Jessi!

I was talking with a woman I met tonight, and she said to me, "...when you were a girl."
A girl. Wow...

I'm still savoring the pleasant shock of surprise, because this level of success is new to me, and I used to think I'd never reach it. I suppose someday I will take this for granted, but for now, baby, I'm going to savor it.

Awesome! thanx for sharing that story. It's good to hear good news and people being excited, etc. Totally awesomness!

--natalie


PS And yes, do savor the moment! Keep that moment in mind, and all of the other moments after that. There are many more to come for sure.

Posted on: January 31, 2008, 01:56:22 AM

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As for ID, I got questions about my ID before HRT and before going full-time (I went androgynous for a long while). I actually got kicked out of bars. And then, I started HRT and it became more frequent. I ended up saving every penny to get my name legally changed three months into HRT. I was pretty excited, and I haven't had problems until recently.

(And of course, my ID boy id had me with a goatee, since I took it when I was going through a "try to be a guy" stage, and since I looked andro, a goatee seemed to be the easiest way to present myself like a macho guy. Well, I might of looked macho, but my voice being higher threw people off and my effeminate nature also threw people off, so most people just pegged me for being gay). I remember the reaction of once meeting someone I talked to on the 'net in person for the first time, and she said, "Wow, I never would have thought you'd sound so... different? Your picture, goatee, and all that don't match who you are at all. It's weird." So yeah, that statement stuck with me for a long while after that; I was pretty easy to read with the goatee mask on. LOL )

Now, since my ID pic is from the first week of Dec 2006, I look different now after taking HRT since mid aug. 2006. So yeah, during the summer a few times while getting smokes (bad, I know), I had arguments with people who thought my ID was fake. I've had the odd time in recent months where clubs have thought I had fake ID. I usuallly just go to the same store and same clubs where I know people and staff, so people don't ask for my ID.

I showed a friend my ID recently and she was like, "Wow, you've changed; that sorta of looks like you but not, kind of like a sister." And of course, my b-day (dec. 1, 1978... yeah, I got new ID for my bd) doesn't help, cause I don't look like I'm nearing 30. (that's freaky that this year I'll be 30, that feels weird). Most people don't peg me at that age. So yeah, when I show that ID and the picture looks like a "sister" and I look like I'm in my early-to-mid 20s, I get a lot of questions and people think I'm running around with my sisters ID!

So, yeah, I have to change my ID again. I'm kind of wanting to hold out for a bit until SRS to change the gender. I don't want to spend the money for new ID just to change it later in the year.


--natalie

Quote from: Hypatia on January 31, 2008, 01:20:44 AM
I was talking with a woman I met tonight, and she said to me, "...when you were a girl."
A girl. Wow...

I'm still savoring the pleasant shock of surprise, because this level of success is new to me, and I used to think I'd never reach it. I suppose someday I will take this for granted, but for now, baby, I'm going to savor it.

Hi, Lady!

Congratulations on flying through the confidence and fear barrier!  I told ya you were good.

Pauline, thank you for sharing what you did with me.  And you came in at second place on Ladies' Day?  Good show!

Jessie, Dennis, Natalie, Schala, all of you have reason to walk tall and proud and look everyone in the eye as you pass them on the street.

Best to all,

Wing Walker

I know it's going well because of the fact that everyone misses me and calls me a her and a she. I L O V E love it!

The one instance that I really REALLY loved was whe I went to go and get my school ID changed and I had to talk with a teacher that I used to know. What happened was that she could not really put a finger on who exactly I was but she knew she knew me from somewhere so se asked me if I had a brother, and I said "Why yes... yes I do", and then she said you two look a lot alike and I said "I get that all the time, we're twins". I thought one it was hilarious and two it was really nice considering I could pass as my own sister.

Anyway that is how I know it's going well.

For me it was the first time a guy sent a drink over to me at a bar. Pretty flattering.