I admit when it comes to things transgender I am a newbie. So it was with trepidation that I went to the Ingersoll Gender Center for their weekly group meetings. I know one crossdresser personally and that is pretty much the extent of it. It was nothing like I expected. No flaming drag queens, just common everyday folk that happen to have the same conundrum that I now have. How to be accepted in an unaccepting world. I found them very knowledgeable, honest, happy for the most part, I apologize for the above generalization but that is what society has taught me over the years, and the reason I always considered myself unworthy. Then as Miles said in Risky Business, Sometimes you just have to say "what the fudge".   

I am glad I went although it is an hour away, I will be returning next week. There is something about being around like minded people that makes it ok. I was totally at ease in spite of what I expected. I may even assume the femme me to attend. Baby steps. When you've been an introvert all your life, you tend not to move too fast. Consider my mind changed. Now I look forward to being an advocate.

One of the holes I fell into is believing the lies of bigoted people. They made me so fearful to be myself. And to think of doing it in public was just beyond comprehension. For all intents and purposes, I was a pervert. Today I am feeling much, much better about myself thanks to these wonderful people. Like my Susan's family, what a loving caring group of people. I'm not a bad person. I was born into my sexual situation, although I did crossdress, a lot, it was always an escape from day to day stresses. My prayers to be a woman were not being answered, and I got angrier, more depressed, more hateful of my Vienna Sausage. I was to the point of losing my family because I could not act right. I had already lost my first love because of this so, many years ago. We are doing better now. I am more engaged, supporting, empathizing of the others around me. I think before speaking now, instead of searching for the put down, sarcasm. I am beginning to appreciate what women go through and they really are better than men at getting things done.

Good for you, Dawn! It's our life and I've come to find that if we don't claim it for what it is, no one else will step up to the plate for us. At some point, I realized I was a transphobe. When I finally dropped that pretense, accepted myself and decided others opinions of me were none of my business, I started to be happy and grow into the real me. Anyone that can't deal with it is welcome to find a place out of my presence. As a matter of fact, thanks for identifying yourself as someone who has no interest in my happiness. Makes life easier and richer for me.

Good luck on your path and have fun! Acceptance, personal and public is an awesomely empowering thing.

So good to hear about your personal growth experience.  It is a big step to attend a group event.  We can hope that all of us recognize the value of life long learning. 

I too have to challenge my internalized transphobic ideas and fears in order to move forward.  Dawn, we need every single person willing to be out and an advocate for education and equity.  So good to hear of your enlightenment, we do this together.

I am not too far away down here near Astoria.  Please come visit when you go to the beach!

One of the nicest things about group is that nobody gives a damn about how we present ourselves.  Drab or drag, we just show up and chat.  I'm about as 'flaming' as my group gets, just because I have this old-fashioned thing about looking nice in public.  (No more 'granny goes to the mall'  t-shirt, jeans, and cardigan look for me.  I save that for housework days.)

If you do decide to dress as yourself, well, it's a great place to start, just because nobody gives a damn.  If you ask you might get some tips, but it is no big deal.  The important thing is to be comfortable, listen to the stories, and interact with others. 

Group is where I learned how others deal with life while transgender.  Individual therapy is where I got my lug nuts tightened, and worked on transition minutae, who do I see to get this or that evaluated/processed/approved, within my HMO plan.

Dawn, I am glad you were able to make it to Ingersol.  It is a very supportive environment, at least I found it to be so back in 2002.  I know it is a bit of a drive, but it can be worth the time. 

All the best to you
-Sarah