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Is this normal?

Started by Manatee, January 12, 2017, 10:19:58 PM

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Manatee

As a child I didn't feel conflicted with my gender. I know that a majority of transgender individuals realize something is off at a really young age yet I never did. I was comfortable and rather happy being a girl and also I was interested in boys instead of girls. However around the age of 14 everything changed completely. I didn't really realize what it was initially. I highly preferred coming across as a male rather than a female but I couldn't really express it in real life. I also developed an attraction to women instead of men. I used to daydream about being a woman one day as a kid however now I can't imagine myself as anything other than a man. I cannot stand having a feminine body and parts; I cannot stand being referred to as "she," as my parents' "daughter" or my siblings' "sister;" I cannot even stand my own name. When I have to force myself to go through another day coming across as female it feels so wrong.
Could this really be gender dysphoria even though I didn't have it at a young age?
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Dena

People don't experience dysphoria the same. I figured it out at age 13 when testosterone started flowing in my system. We have members on the site who are facing it for the first time in their 60's. The number who know at age 3 or 4 are not the majority so you are in good company with the late discoverers
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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Kylo

Yeah.

Remember young kids aren't really geared to think about gender that much - they aren't fully developed, they don't have adult levels of sex hormone in their veins and they don't have secondary sexual characteristics when they look in the mirror. Young boys and girls are more similar than different in appearance really. A lot of trans people find puberty is the moment it really hits and dysphoria rears its head.

I knew marginally things were a bit off at 6-8 yrs old but it wasn't until puberty that the full blown horror set in.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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AlyssaJ

I'll weigh in with my personal experience.  From about 6-11 I had some mild desires to do "girlish" things and some curiosity about girl's clothing. At 11(ish) when the big T got flowing during puberty, I started experimenting with crossdressing but even then it wasn't so much a gender thing.  In my adult life while I knew that my crossdressing was more than just a fetish, I still classified it as such.  As I look back on it now, I was experiencing dysphoria but denied it, repressed it and in some cases didn't recognize it as such.  It wasn't until last year in my very late 30's that I finally recognized and admitted that I'm trans. 

As previously mentioned, from what I've learned there are a lot of people who don't realize the dysphoria until their middle-aged or even older. Not everyone has the "I'm a person of Gender A stuck in the body of Gender B" experience in their youth.  I've talked directly with many trans-women who didn't even think about their gender until they were well into adulthood.  So from that my conclusion is yes you're totally normal. :)
"I want to put myself out there, I want to make connections, I want to learn and if someone can get something out of my experience, I'm OK with that, too." - Laura Jane Grace

What's it like to transition at mid-life?  http://transitionat40.com/



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SpeakYourMind

Quote from: Manatee on January 12, 2017, 10:19:58 PM
As a child I didn't feel conflicted with my gender. I know that a majority of transgender individuals realize something is off at a really young age yet I never did. I was comfortable and rather happy being a girl and also I was interested in boys instead of girls. However around the age of 14 everything changed completely. I didn't really realize what it was initially. I highly preferred coming across as a male rather than a female but I couldn't really express it in real life. I also developed an attraction to women instead of men. I used to daydream about being a woman one day as a kid however now I can't imagine myself as anything other than a man. I cannot stand having a feminine body and parts; I cannot stand being referred to as "she," as my parents' "daughter" or my siblings' "sister;" I cannot even stand my own name. When I have to force myself to go through another day coming across as female it feels so wrong.
Could this really be gender dysphoria even though I didn't have it at a young age?

To be honest it's just something i completely know and always have even on a slight unconscious level
It's not about my genitals or personality even but then i'd debate and say maybe my personality plays a slight part?
Iv'e always been very straight forward and i have that let me do it attitude not sure how i'd describe it properly.
But everyone is different so the way i feel i'm male may not be the same for another person.


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Daria67

My limited experience has taught me that while I have many shared experiences with others my journey is unique to me. During my first disastrous attempt at transition many years ago I spent far too much time comparing myself to others and felt very inadequate. This time I am walking my own path.
"Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney

"I am not changing who I am. I am becoming who I am."
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KathyLauren

I really don't think that most trans people realize it at a young age.  Just from reading people's experiences here, I would say it is much more common to find out later.  Sometimes much later.

Your experience certainly sounds like it is probably gender dysphoria.  You owe it to yourself to see a gender therapist to explore the possibility.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Janes Groove

It goes back a long, long ways with me.  I have very clear and specific trans memories of when I was a pre-pubescent child.  It wasn't crippling or paralysing dysphoria, but is was always there.   Puberty cemented it and brought it into clearer focus.  Since then a day hasn't gone by that I haven't wanted to be a woman in one way or another.  But living in a super transphobic social support/kin group I learned to stuff it down and hard.  Denial was a way of life for me. Which I have paid dearly for.  I try not to beat myself up too much about it. The past is gone and it's really the present that matters. 
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lc100

While many trans people have had feelings of something being "off" in their childhood, it does not mean you're abnormal for not experiencing anything like that. I don't remember most of my childhood tbh, and only remember one time period before puberty in which I was having gender-related problems. Some people don't have any feelings on their gender/dysphoria until they're way older. Everyone's different. Doesn't mean anything.


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