I had a hard time in grade school because I was mute and cried all the time  which made me the  favorite of the bullies all through grade school until I got fed up and fought back . I can only imagine what would of happened if I transitioned in first or second grade..

In my grade school, no, I could not have dealt with it. I was pretty well left alone until 11, then the bullies hunted me down for 5 years straight. The summer between 10th and 11th grade I developed my first 'male' alter and grew 4 inches, and that ended my 5 years as a prey animal. I was selling drugs to the same guys that had hunted me since 6th grade from then on. My 'alpha male' years had just begun..

Things are different today. I could have done it in a progressive and accepting school, for sure.

Back in those days, No.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves

Back in my day I regret not being transitioning in high school. I would have been bullied either way. The boys hated me anyway.

Quote from: Deborah on January 17, 2017, 04:40:15 PM
Back in those days, No.

Exactly, back then I did everything I could to not get beat up and for the most part, I did.  I was one of the smart kids, kinda nerdy, which didn't help my popularity and I did theatre and vocal music.  I could have been a prime target for many of the bullies, and would have had I came out.  It was a different world going to school in the 80's.

But I survived it, in fact I actually had a great experience and still am friends with many people from back then.

But coming out back then...not a chance.  The world has come so far, because of work that I am happy to say I was part of

I believe i could have but in that day and age, it would have been incredibly hard.

I remember in about the sixth grade there was a very tough (and tall and muscular) girl that bullied the bullies. She would not let anything like that go, she literally beat the crap out of several guys, which as you can imagine has a tendency to shorten one's bullying career or at least the reputation. I remember one guy in particular shocked, crying and cussing at the top of his lungs because she had humiliated his little evil self so badly.

Because of sexism, she also got far less in the way of punishment as a guy would. I'd have become very good friends with her.

I don't know. Only if I did it from a very young age, but if I did it post-13, it was pointless, I already hit puberty. I wouldn't have a chance.

In 6th grade, there was this 5'7 (or 5'8 ) girl who was a bodybuilder, and a karate person. She would beat up all the guys in school, it was scary, she was a fearsome being. Her name was Big Pattie. She even had a unibrow. She was cruel to all the girls, and she would slam all there books to the ground. Her father was the football coach, so I guess he wanted Pattie to follow his footsteps. The mother was also fearsome, with curly red hair, and a mean personality to the teachers who told her daughter was a bully. Big Pattie didn't put up with much! She had one blue bow in her hair that was offset by her image.

She did not like this nickname at all and was very self-conscious. She once stated how it hurts when others speak nasty things about her behind her back.  Because she was very big and mean looking, Pattie only became a bully to live up to the reputation given to her.

In the 1960s?  Heck, I even had a 'designated bully' who beat me every Friday afternoon.  Yeah, a scheduled event, as he'd remind me every day, and a couple times on Friday.  A modern transition would probably have resulted in my death at the hands of "high-spirited children." 

Back then kids were kept back grades when they didn't pass requirements. My bully was 16 in the 8th grade, and large for his age.  Probably twice my weight. His dad was a big wheel in the parish, and he could do no wrong.

Transition?  Never happen.  Standard treatment was electroconvulsive and aversion therapy.  I dodged that and just got testosterone shots and counseling from a priest.  Benjamin was just coming up with his protocols when I was in high school. 

(Gosh.  I wonder why I need therapy? )


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Quote from: Michelle_P on January 17, 2017, 07:50:35 PM
In the 1960s?  Heck, I even had a 'designated bully' who beat me every Friday afternoon.  Yeah, a scheduled event, as he'd remind me every day, and a couple times on Friday.  A modern transition would probably have resulted in my death at the hands of "high-spirited children." 

Back then kids were kept back grades when they didn't pass requirements. My bully was 16 in the 8th grade, and large for his age.  Probably twice my weight. His dad was a big wheel in the parish, and he could do no wrong.

Transition?  Never happen.  Standard treatment was electroconvulsive and aversion therapy.  I dodged that and just got testosterone shots and counseling from a priest.  Benjamin was just coming up with his protocols when I was in high school. 

(Gosh.  I wonder why I need therapy? )

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Well said and way too familiar, right down to the "parish" and routine bullying.  Heck we kids didn't really even know what  "homos" were back in the 50s but the term sissy sure roiled the boys around me.  In my era, as Michelle notes, I would more likely have been committed or killed.  Not even an imaginable possibility for me.

I like to think people have had a better chance at survival or even support in the grade schools of this current century.

What happened to Tessa James and I is really what drives my activism.  I never want any child, in any school district, to go through what we went through in school and growing up.  When I hear of some venal person working to re-establish the conditions for bullying trans kids, it makes me angry, to the point that I would very much like to see their careers destroyed.


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Unfortunately,  I was the bully in school. I was raised by an angry ignorant man who's answer to everything was a beating. Consequently, between my gender issues which I did not understand at the time, and the beatings at home, I was rather volatile in school. I certainly never picked on any gay or transgendered people to my knowledge. But I was the classic smart aleck kid always in a fight or looking for one. Quite chagrined by it now, but it was what it was and I unfortunately own it.
    Although no excuse for my or anyone else's behavior,  I suspect many "bullies" in schools were victims of abuse at home. These things don't exist in vacuums and like mamy other things, are systemic and generational. I'm proud to say I dropped my thug routine before I reached the age of majority, but not without much introspection and soul searching.

If there is anything I can't stomach in this world it is being reminded of school days and the various bullies

I didn't have any idea that transitioning was even possible at that age, but I sure caught hell for my "Girlish behavior"

Sometimes I was able to defend myself, but most often I would take evasive action which at times included either hiding and/or running like Forest Gump

Guys would often harass me in the locker room, grabbing and pinching at my nipples and snapping towels and such

One day a couple of guys tried to rape me in the shower, luckily the coaches were paying attention because I'd been reported for not taking my showers and had been told to do so or I'd be in some trouble

My step father started teaching me the marshal arts he'd learned in Vietnam plus I studied on my own

I also noticed that there were various brick and/or block walls allover the school and throughout town and that I could use them to my advantage whenever a bully came round to bother me

One day I decided I'd had enough of being bullied and nearly choked a guy out, I actually went full on Darth Vader on him and grabbed him by the throat, smacked his head against the wall and started slowly squeezing my thumb and mid finger together as I watched his eyes bug out while he began to turn colours

I felt a bit awkward about it, particularly because I noticed the coaches were watching from their office window and seemed impressed with how relaxed I was while standing up for myself

I of course let him go once he agreed not to bother me any more

Anyway, not to many bullies bothered me after that

If I was a girl back then, I wouldn't have had no bullies. And if someone tried to bully me with the confidence I have as girl, they'd be laid out :@

In a 1980's small midwestern town? Not a chance. I would have had zero friends to associate with. Even hanging with a group of rougheons in middle school and getting the "friendly" shoulder punch several times a day (why, just because they did that to each other) was better than letting ANYONE know what I was thinking inside. They were rough, most were not the top end students, but they were real with each other and had no negative intentions towards me. I'd give them the shoulder punch back but mine didn't seem to even phase them any. My shoulder on the other hand was often bruised. Plus being around them meant almost no one else would try to bully me except that one guy who picked on everyone.

No, definitely not. There were a lot of bullies at my schools. They never bothered me simply because I learned to be invisible. Before then, I was easy prey. I didn't want to go back to that visibility, much less a higher visibility. Why do you think it took me so long to come out?

Quote from: ChristineRachel on January 18, 2017, 05:47:36 AM
If I was a girl back then, I wouldn't have had no bullies. And if someone tried to bully me with the confidence I have as girl, they'd be laid out :@

Same. Lol I didnt take any crap from anyone as a kid. I find the bullies for me were at home and at work as a 'grown up.' If I'd have been 'allowed' to transition as a child I wouldnt have any of the problems I'm faced with now.

My experience was a tad different. I was fortunate to have a brother, older sisters and friends who know no one dared not say a thing or look their way or my way. All looked after me. I remember in fourth grade I told all my friends I was wearing a training bra but it wasn't, it was an elastic thing cause I got hurt playing. I said it because my older sister got one. No one bothered me that I can remember, except for the 7th grade when this boy approached me for sex.  Now that was different because I knew what sex was more or less and I was somewhat curious but more afraid than anything. Nowadays he would have been considered a molester. In 6th or 7th grade was when I became aware of another transgender girl on the other street from where I lived. She and I went on to become best friends.

No way! I watched a mob of kids go full lord of the flies on a kid for saying he wanted to be bat girl or cat woman. I learned right away not to be different.
I mean I got picked on enough as it was because I had long lashes and red cheeks and was slightly effeminate. To admit more would have been death [emoji88]

Quote from: StevieC9 on January 18, 2017, 06:50:35 PM
No way! I watched a mob of kids go full lord of the flies on a kid for saying he wanted to be bat girl or cat woman. I learned right away not to be different.
I mean I got picked on enough as it was because I had long lashes and red cheeks and was slightly effeminate. To admit more would have been death [emoji88]

I hear you there

I had the long lashes, rosy cheeks and was rather effeminate as well, after all I was basically raised by my mom and two elder sisters until my mom got remarried

But yeah, I got picked on at home, bullied at school, even going to church was a freakin' nightmare

always wondered what happens to bullies when they finally grow up