Hello everyone. I'll start by saying that I am a 21-year-old guy who's been on T (testim gel) for 2 years and 5 months. Normal/average dose since the beginning. Checked my T levels and they are in the normal male range. No problems with my estrogen levels, got it checked too.

Everyone would therefore assume that after almost 2 and a half years I'd look completely different than I did pre-T, right? Wrong. Sure, I pass as male. As a 15-year-old male. I already passed most of the time as a 15-year-old boy pre-T, so this was hardly a change.

So what are the actual changes? My voice got deeper and is in the male range now. And I have more body hair and a BIT of facial hair (13-year-old facial hair mind you). Oh and periods stopped of course. And... that's pretty much it.

What changes everyone expects including myself have NOT happened?
- Beard or significant facial hair (I have a 14-year-old friend with more facial hair than me)
- More muscles / easier to put on muscle (went to the gym for a whole year - no results)
- More squared/angled face and prominent jawline (face is as round as ever, or even rounder now)
- Fat redistribution (what's that even? My female-shaped, extremely curvy and feminine body looks exactly the same as pre-T).
- Clit enlargement (same as pre-t)
- No Adam's apple

Basically I look the same as I did pre-T. So much that I had to explicitly tell my grandmother (and other relatives) at the 2 years mark that I had began HRT because she had not noticed anything (except for male voice). She still misgenders me often because I don't look like a MAN. I look the same as always. People who have not seen me since pre-T immediately recognize me, and very few of them notice that I've transitioned. And obviously after 2.5 years I'm not expecting any more changes in the future. This is who I am now. A guy who permanently looks like a 15-year-old boy and fools no one when naked.

I'm posting this to vent mostly, but also to warn young trans guys that are so excited to get on T: please don't think T is magic. Yes many people have awesome, noticeable changes within the first 6 months. Others like me are not so lucky however. T doesn't work for everyone so please don't be a fool like me who ended up so let down. Lower your expectations, just in case.

EDIT: Forgot to add no adam's apple either.

Welcome to the site.

I bet some of the guys will be along with some answers to your comments.

I hope you find what you are looking for here.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

Hi Ev18, welcome to Susan's. Everyone responds to hormones differently. Some of the changes are dependent on how far into puberty you were and how much had left to go. So bone changes may not occur. Facial hair can take years to get to the full amount your going to get. This is true both for trans and Cis males. Also depending on the delivery method and the like some people are more responsive or less than others. Anyways the guys will be able to help you more. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

I've been on testogel sunce starting T and don't see all the changes I've seen other trans guys who've been on HRT the same time as me. Still no facial hair, only slightly more masculine face,not a lot of body hair. Got my T levels checked out and though they are in the male range and my doctor didn't want to up my dose and says everyone responds to T differently; they still seem a tad low to me.

Like you I had to come to the conclusion that T isn't a magical cure all and you may still have mental health issues on T. Do't believe social media. Which is what I tell guys on this forum. I just have to keep remembering that male puberty takes 5 yrs to mature; at least I feel hugely better mentally on T and at least I pass; although as below my age. So overall I'm content/sorta happy and have to understand T is a compromise.

Joanna50 Yeah I was already a member but so long ago that I've lost both my password and my email. This is gonna be my new account now, you can delete the other one if you want.

Mariah thanks for the kind words. Yeah that's what the docs and everyone says, "everyone responds to it differently". I'm just one of the few extremely unlucky cases.

Elis Good to find someone else here in a similar situation! Thanks for your input. I agree. It's just so unfair. Huge let down. I doubt I'll look any differently than I do now 2 years from now. I've given up hope.

Quote from: EV18 on January 17, 2017, 02:30:54 PM

Elis Good to find someone else here in a similar situation! Thanks for your input. I agree. It's just so unfair. Huge let down. I doubt I'll look any differently than I do now 2 years from now. I've given up hope.

I know how easy it is to want to give up but please don't. 3 years is a huge amount of time. A lot of cis men don't start looking mature until well into their twenties. You could also be having some water retention which causes your face to look rounder. Plus a lot of cis men find it hard to gain muscle because they just naturally have a very slim body which is extremely difficult to add bulk too.

Testosterone clearly worked for you in some ways, so your title is a little untruthful.

Like Elis said, it can take up to 5 years to see the full breadth of changes on T. People should absolutely go into HRT understanding that it may take that long to see the changes they're hoping for, and that some things they just might not be genetically predisposed to.

My body DIY T when I entered puberty until I was 30 and I never could grow an intense beard or muscles. As for the face, you can be the judge. I had the low voice and adams apple but I think I got those from my mother's father. CIS don't develop all the physical features of the "ideal" man and not all men end up attractive. When you start any hormone therapy it will depend on the genes you were give and nothing else.

Can't say I expect it to work miracles. At best I'll end up looking like Marty McFly or something. I'll take that over nothing though.

The mental improvements of taking T have been enough to make me stick with it, even if not much else turns out right.

QuoteI just have to keep remembering that male puberty takes 5 yrs to mature

This! For what it's worth, my first beard showed up when I was 20, by the time I was 35, it made that beard look like peach fuzz on a babies bottom.  So I went from a kind of lame bunch of hair on my face, to Grizzly Adams in 15 years. Not that I wanted any of it.....but the point is, it took forever to turn into a beard a lumberjack could be proud of. It's taken nearly 8000 dollars of Electro to kill "some" (not even half) of it. These people....the ones that post pic's after two months an hormones that look like  Nicki Minaj or Chris Hemsworth? Much of it is BS and the rest is wishful thinking. Do some people accomplish these things in very short order....yeah....one in a million and they post, post, post. They're as blown away as you are. The rest of us missed out on the gene pool lottery. Your gender is in your heart, not on your face or body. Plenty of masculine Women and Feminine Men. All born that way. You question to you....is....who are you? Once you own it, the rest will follow. You are the man you believe you are. One of my best friends is 5'1" and has as squeaky voice. He makes 200,000+ a Year, has a beautiful wife and two great kids. I respect him with all my heart. What you see in the mirror WILL change over the coming years, not the coming weeks....the coming YEARS.  Decide who you are and go live your life appropriately, the rest will follow.

We are our own worst critic.

Is it a gel versus injections thing? In general when I hear someone say I'm unhappy with the changes its inevitably a gel user.

Quote from: CMD042414 on January 19, 2017, 12:40:11 PM
Is it a gel versus injections thing? In general when I hear someone say I'm unhappy with the changes its inevitably a gel user.

I don't like this misinformation that gel works less well than injections. It doesn't help trans men who already have low self esteem. My doctor who has specialised in trans care said himself it's a myth.

Quote from: Elis on January 19, 2017, 05:12:08 PM

Quote from: CMD042414 on January 19, 2017, 12:40:11 PM
Is it a gel versus injections thing? In general when I hear someone say I'm unhappy with the changes its inevitably a gel user.

I don't like this misinformation that gel works less well than injections. It doesn't help trans men who already have low self esteem. My doctor who has specialised in trans care said himself it's a myth.

Yes, the gel vs. injections thing is 100% a myth.

Quote from: Elis on January 19, 2017, 05:12:08 PM
I don't like this misinformation that gel works less well than injections. It doesn't help trans men who already have low self esteem. My doctor who has specialised in trans care said himself it's a myth.

Once upon a time blood levels weren't checked and some people had difficulty absorbing hormones through their skin. Today a blood test will quickly verify levels and if the levels are where they are supposed to be, there is no difference between the two. Gell may have the advantage of a more consistent delivery as it avoids the half life issue of injections.

Noted

I chose gel, because I figured injections (though cheaper) would mean a drop in levels before the next shot, and lack of control over the dosage. I'd have figured that would be advantageous. What are the reasons some of you prefer shots? Convenience?

Quote from: Kylo on January 19, 2017, 10:23:33 PM
I chose gel, because I figured injections (though cheaper) would mean a drop in levels before the next shot, and lack of control over the dosage. I'd have figured that would be advantageous. What are the reasons some of you prefer shots? Convenience?

I like that I only have to worry about it once a week. Less than 5 minutes for a shot then I am good to go till next time. Levels don't really drop if you are doing a shot every week as opposed to every 2 weeks like some people do. I feel very in control of my dosage. I see it go in my body and not on a shirt or my hands.

I was originally going to try gel because I was afraid of the mood fluctuations on injections. My wife's brother had testicular cancer and has to inject testosterone as he doesn't produce enough since he had one testicle removed. His moods were all over the place and my wife was afraid I'd be the same.

That being said, we did decide to do shots for many reasons (my fear of transference - we have 3 kids plus my wife, convenience, etc). I didn't struggle on a twice monthly schedule but we switched to weekly due to my continued pelvic pain (just to say we tried everything, but that was a long standing problem).

Once on a weekly schedule, I honestly don't feel any highs and lows. My moods are stable, and I am very happy I decided to go with injections. I don't think I could realistically stick to a daily application. That sounds terrible but for some reason that seems like more work than the allergy pills I take every day lol.

However, I don't think most people see any difference in masculinization (on gel vs injection).  Unless you are someone that has poor absorption but that would be tracked/discovered via routine blood work.

Quote from: Kylo on January 19, 2017, 10:23:33 PM
I chose gel, because I figured injections (though cheaper) would mean a drop in levels before the next shot, and lack of control over the dosage. I'd have figured that would be advantageous. What are the reasons some of you prefer shots? Convenience?

Absolutely convenience. With gel, it's a daily application. I had to shower first, then let it air dry for about 5 minutes. I couldn't work out or get wet within 2 hours of application. I couldn't come into skin to skin contact with anyone female, young, old, animals, etc. I couldn't share towels or t-shirts with that same group.

With shots, there is no worry about transference, plus it's a once a week thing that I can just do and forget about it.

Plus it's loads cheaper. A large vial of T lasts me around 5 months and is around $30. I bought my needles in bulk for $20 and have about 2 years worth. 5 months of gel here is currently $575.

My levels have been exactly the same on gel versus shots. I've never had the mood swings that some people mention experiencing near the end of their shot cycle either.