Like dont get me wrong i am beyond excited and i know i shouldnt have anything to worry about during the consult since i know the surgeon is super nice but i cant help but be afraid. other than having to focus and show a part of me i absolutely hate and that causes me distress its also a money issue. im really really hoping my insurance gets accepted or that they take insurance in general. They did say something about payment plans as well but i wont know more about this until i can talk with them in person during my consult. and there is the factor that im actually moving hopefully in February and i will start paying rent and money will need to go towards that.

Another thing with my insurance i have to worry about is that I'm on my parents and im not sure how me getting top surgery will go with them. i had a fight with my mom in the beginning of my transition where she threatened to take me off the insurance if i went to do this. she thought i was going too fast even though i hadn't said i wanted top surgery but was thinking about it in the future and when i thought about maybe going on T. (i was able to convince them and have been on T 7 months and its been almost a year since i came out to them)

Ive talked with my therapist and im working on trying to get us in a group to talk after the consult. After i get all the info and price quotes and payment plans. cause its either my insurance covers it, i figure out a payment plan if they dont and have a backup plan if i am kicked off their insurance if it is covered. I love my family and i want their support but since im almost 22 its time to make my own decisions on what i know is going to be good for my mental and emotional health and well being. But im so scared. i dont want to lose my family over this. but my chest is slowly killing me and i cant deal with it for another year or five like my mom wanted me to wait in the beginning. This group session is less of getting their approval and is more of this is what i need to do and if i could have your support even if you dont agree with what im doing, that would be awesome

im just kinda lost.

Stand your ground. Parents like yours will always want you to wait in the hopes you will change your mind. Do not back down and do not let them give you an excuse to put it off. Now is the best time, not a year or two from now.

If you have insurance, you should probably contact your insurance first to obtain a list of in-network providers who are doing top surgery.

I had my consult yesterday - I wasn't thrilled about taking off my shirt and binder either, but when all was said and done, it was over in a couple of (admittedly super uncomfortable) minutes.

I hope your consult went well.