Etiquette, and finding transgender friends

Artesia · January 21, 2017, 07:16:12 PM

Well, I'm to far away to drive to the groups that I am aware of for meeting other transgender people. I was at my therapy appointment yesterday, and on my way out, I walked past a lady who had a 5 o'clock shadow and her speech was off, like it went between feminine and masculine sounds. I wanted to stop and speak with her about it, but didn't want to "clock her" either. I know there are a couple Transgender people in my community, and I would like to meet them, I just don't know what/how to go about it without insulting them.

Some times, for me anyway, speaking with someone in person, with experience, is helpful.

Devlyn · January 21, 2017, 07:23:27 PM

Just be friends with the lady with the five o'clock shadow. IF she's transgender, and IF she decides to share that with you, then you'll know that you've really earned someone's trust.

Of course we are always free to reveal our status to someone else. However, saying "I'm trans, too" to someone who you merely suspect of being transgender isn't the way to do it!

Hugs, Devlyn

Rachel · January 21, 2017, 07:35:17 PM

Perhaps your therapist knows a person that is willing to talk to you or another therapist that can assist with finding a supporting person.

FTMax · January 21, 2017, 09:35:49 PM

See if any of the professionals you work with for your transition are willing to connect you to anyone. My doctor and the mental health team at the clinic I go to all have my contact information to share with local guys that they feel would benefit from talking to me.

I would personally not be comfortable talking to someone who approached me at random. But I'm also not a very nice person

Artesia · January 22, 2017, 05:50:29 AM

Sadly, the only group my therapist knows of is the one that is to far away. I can't afford to make the 1.5 hour drive to the far side of Indianapolis every month, in addition to both mine and my wife's medical appointments. I would love to start a group closer, or join an existing one, but don't know how to go about meeting the local TG population, and I am aware of at least 3 others.

patrick1967 · January 22, 2017, 06:26:06 AM

Do you have a local PFLAG group that meets closer to you. We have a very strong Trans presence at our chapter, frequently we have the largest discussion group in a given month, it might be a good way to connect. The alternative might be to let your therapist know you are looking to network and write an introduction letter that could be given to other patients by her if they wish to connect

Elis · January 22, 2017, 06:48:00 AM

You could also sign up for Meet Up; which allows its members to cteate their own social groups. Some people also use tumblr or facebook to create groups; you could see if there's a trans group already on fb for your area.

Artesia · January 22, 2017, 06:59:24 AM

Quote from: patrick1967 on January 22, 2017, 06:26:06 AM
Do you have a local PFLAG group that meets closer to you. We have a very strong Trans presence at our chapter, frequently we have the largest discussion group in a given month, it might be a good way to connect. The alternative might be to let your therapist know you are looking to network and write an introduction letter that could be given to other patients by her if they wish to connect

The 2 nearest PFLAG groups are 1.5-2 hours away. I like the letter idea. I live in a hole when it comes to, well almost everything I want to do. I need a new job, and to move out of here.

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Etiquette, and finding transgender friends