Quote from: Sephirah on January 04, 2017, 06:13:55 PM
I'm thinking that eating jalapeño enhanced pork rinds is a VERY bad idea for someone who does not do well with spicy foods.

Owwwwww. My tongue feels like it's been crushed in a vice.

Just remember, as tasty and alluring as the hot and spicy may be, what goes in one end will eventually want to exit out the other    Have you a fire extinguisher handy?

Quote from: V M on January 04, 2017, 07:30:05 PM
Just remember, as tasty and alluring as the hot and spicy may be, what goes in one end will eventually want to exit out the other    Have you a fire extinguisher handy?

Oh dear, I don't even want to think about that. >_< Still, jet propulsion has its advantages

I really don't know how some people do it.

Quote from: Sephirah on January 04, 2017, 07:32:19 PM
I really don't know how some people do it.

They have no sense of pain. On the other hand, if you make the mistake of eating something like that, a dairy product like milk held in you mouth will put the fire out. When you live near the Mexican border and you are a wimp, that's survival training.

Honestly, I'm addicted to capsicum. I have been since shortly after I started HRT.

This rum is mighty tasty, and my lips feel numb.  A lot of people throughout my life have said alcohol has ruined their lives, but for me, it has saved my life.  If I did not experience these moments of intoxication, I don't think I would be alive right now as they are but a brief period in time where I am free from the mundane. 

It is in these moments, that I feel free. 

I'm glad I have never formed an addiction, that I can stop and go for days without drinking.  I don't know what I would do, if I could not drink ever again, this has been my escape for so long. 

Beyond that, I am looking forward to my treadmill coming to me soon.  I want to lose a bunch of weight, I'm going to cut back on protein and carbs, and do my best to cause muscle atrophy.  I don't know if I will ever look as good as many of you girls, but I can always hope.  I may never have that body I desire, but at the very least I will not have as much of a body that disgusts me now. 

Earlier today, I packed away our Christmas tree, and I left a note along with it.  It read "Did you make it?"  I hope, by next December I have taken the steps toward making it.  I hope I am not some 200-something pound person, filled with muscles, and self doubt,  stuck in the same place I have been all of my life. 

Yeah, just a bunch of different things.  I'm a weird girl, what else can I say? 

I'm glad my wife subscribed today to Susan's. It will hopefully give her an insight into the diversity that we all are. Hopefully it will also give our relationship a real chance to move forward.


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First snow of the season!

I'm thinking thank god I started cooking spaghetti bolognese


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This year is already looking very bleak. 

My throat is killing me [emoji22]


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I'm just wishing that I were not alive.  I mean the universe is so huge, surely there's nothing I could do to effect it greatly.  Wouldn't things be ok without me?  I don't even really want to transition anymore; I am just so exhausted and find it hard to even try for anything anymore.  I'm about a quarter way through life, but it feels like it's taking so long!


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Quote from: Amanda_Combs on January 19, 2017, 03:45:40 PM
I'm just wishing that I were not alive.  I mean the universe is so huge, surely there's nothing I could do to effect it greatly.  Wouldn't things be ok without me?  I don't even really want to transition anymore; I am just so exhausted and find it hard to even try for anything anymore.  I'm about a quarter way through life, but it feels like it's taking so long!


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*extra big hug*

I know those feelings well, sweetie. They're ones I battle with on a monthly, if not daily basis.

One thing I have learned, though, is to think small. Maybe we can't change the world, but we can change our world. And maybe the worlds of people around us, with a kind word or deed. You'd be surprised how often that has a ripple effect, like a stone in a pond.

Where there's life, there's hope, hon. It sounds trite but it's true. For what it's worth, I wish you were alive. Every one of us has so much to offer in this world, and so much inside that's so beautiful. It's hard to see it, god I know that, but it's true. Keep going, okay? I hope, and believe that these feelings are only temporary.

Take some time to recharge your batteries. Spoil yourself and do something you enjoy, maybe.

Quote from: Sephirah on January 19, 2017, 04:44:56 PM
*extra big hug*

I know those feelings well, sweetie. They're ones I battle with on a monthly, if not daily basis.

One thing I have learned, though, is to think small. Maybe we can't change the world, but we can change our world. And maybe the worlds of people around us, with a kind word or deed. You'd be surprised how often that has a ripple effect, like a stone in a pond.

Where there's life, there's hope, hon. It sounds trite but it's true. For what it's worth, I wish you were alive. Every one of us has so much to offer in this world, and so much inside that's so beautiful. It's hard to see it, god I know that, but it's true. Keep going, okay? I hope, and believe that these feelings are only temporary.

Take some time to recharge your batteries. Spoil yourself and do something you enjoy, maybe.

Thank you SO much, sweetie!  I'm still not sure that I feel any better, but I certainly feel better about feeling terrible.  You said exactly what I needed to hear; it helped a lot!   

My birth name, Dion, has always been pretty rare, but my reclaimed childhood nickname, Dee, is very common. I find myself turning my head when someone speaks or wondering when I posted something which some other Dee posted. I suppose I would have adapted to it long ago if I had been a Mike, or a John, or a Jack before transition.

I also find that Dee is often misheard on the phone. I get Steve, fairly frequently. My voice as part of the whole package gets by but, by itself, attenuated by the phone, it just passes less often than I would like.

At Fenway Health for my first doctor visit since  2008. I'm so nervous I think I'm going to throw up (needle phobia).  Going to ask about the informed consent HRT program.

Hugs, Devlyn

Good luck Devlyn,  think happy thoughts.  X

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Thanks! I  made it through the blood draw okay. Doctor is going to call me in a few days with my starting dosages! 

Hugs, Devlyn

So happy for you! It's a long hard road with many steps to take. Just take comfort in the old saying; "the Devlyn is in the details"!

Congrats Dev. 

Hugs

Quote from: Dee Marshall on January 23, 2017, 01:13:04 PM
So happy for you! It's a long hard road with many steps to take. Just take comfort in the old saying; "the Devlyn is in the details"!

DING DING DING! We have the best post of the day!

Quote from: V M on January 23, 2017, 06:33:10 PM
Congrats Dev. 

Hugs

Thanks, hon! 

Hugs, Devlyn