Pronouns

clouds301199 · January 22, 2017, 11:29:41 AM

I'm struggling a little with pronouns. Whenever one of my friends use the wrong pronouns, I often feel annoying for correcting them? I know correcting them is the only way to get them to remember, but I feel annoying or something when I correct them, how did you correct them or get your friends to use the correct pronouns etc?

Denise · January 22, 2017, 01:11:33 PM

Be gentle and respectful. They will understand. If you are in a group, it helps when someone else corrects them.

HappyMoni · January 22, 2017, 01:27:21 PM

Clouds,
It is really annoying isn't it. I have made a joke about it when correcting someone. People don't mind humor but they are not thrilled with being corrected a lot. When someone uses the wrong pronouns, I just say something like "pronoun police" and laugh. (P.P. for short) I also spin around and look for the person they refer to as "him" and say, "Where is he?" Use your imagination but try to have fun with it, at least for a while. If someone calls me "Sir" and then call them opposite of their gender. Then it is like, "Oh yeah."
Monica

clouds301199 · January 22, 2017, 02:00:44 PM

Quote from: HappyMoni on January 22, 2017, 01:27:21 PM
Clouds,
It is really annoying isn't it. I have made a joke about it when correcting someone. People don't mind humor but they are not thrilled with being corrected a lot. When someone uses the wrong pronouns, I just say something like "pronoun police" and laugh. (P.P. for short) I also spin around and look for the person they refer to as "him" and say, "Where is he?" Use your imagination but try to have fun with it, at least for a while. If someone calls me "Sir" and then call them opposite of their gender. Then it is like, "Oh yeah."
Monica

thank you so much for this! really helpful

x

MissGendered · January 22, 2017, 02:53:49 PM

Yeah, that was annoying, sorry you are dealing with it...

Like Moni, I used humor when gentle reminders didn't work. In a group, especially, when somebody would refer to me as 'he', I would use the wrong pronoun on them, like if a male friend said something like 'he came over to my place before dinner', and I would turn to the person they were talking to and say 'yeah, but she was already eating'...

Sometimes showing someone how weird it feels to be referred to as the opposite gender causes a light to come on, and they 'get it'..

lc100 · January 23, 2017, 04:42:21 PM

Moni and MissGendered, that is really helpful! Thanks so much!

But yeah, being misgendered by people who know is really annoying, even if it's understandable. My situation is a bit abnormal though, so idk.

Michelle_P · January 24, 2017, 12:45:36 AM

I try to use humor or quietly note it without interrupting conversation. I carry these in my bag:

I'll take one out and pin it on when misgendered in conversation, without saying anything directly.

It seems to work...

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Pronouns

clouds301199

Denise

HappyMoni

clouds301199

MissGendered

lc100

Michelle_P