Quote from: Maybebaby56 on January 26, 2017, 05:47:57 PMIn my opinion, reversing any of those procedures is hardly "practical". First of all, who could afford it? Secondly, bone cement and implants are not a reversal of the procedure. They are a surgical revision on top of a surgical revision, and you are going to be left with even more damaged nerves and muscles and skin that are never going to work or look the same again. I am still trying to recover from FFS. I can't feel parts of my forehead, neck and scalp, and I will have scars, however minor, that will be with me the rest of my life. I can't even imagine assaulting my face again, trying to make it look like it used to.
Well, when we put it like that, transition itself isn't very "practical" when you think about it!
Okay, a better word choice might be that facial surgery is
technically reversible, however impractical, in a way that SRS really isn't. By "technically" I mean it's possible from a technical perspective to more or less regain one's previous facial features, in more or less working order, such that male gendering is automatically and subconsciously conferred by the general public once again -- even without the beard shadow. But sex organs, once we have SRS, can't ever fully regain certain functionalities, particularly that of procreation.
To bring this back into the actual subject of where this fits in the context of RLE... Anjaq is right, it's certainly better to fully sure of what one wants before having surgery. I do think it's possible to know that without RLE in the first place. I certainly knew I wanted it and needed it before I even started HRT; facial surgery was always on my radar when it came to planning my transition. The "technical" aspects of potentially reversing facial surgery were never a consideration for me.
The only reason I brought that up was because of the question of whether it made sense to have it before or after starting RLE. Now, RLE is
ostensibly required to make sure we are willing and able to receive our desired gendering before SRS -- which is not only irreversible, but was extremely taboo (and really still is taboo, if not to the same extent), not to mention coming right up to that line of medical ethics. It was a ritual requirement, and if you couldn't hack it (bad pun) you wouldn't get your SRS.
But facial surgery isn't treated the same way by the medical establishment, despite its being just as profound (if not more so) than bottom surgery itself. We can get facial surgery
before going full time, and for very good reasons it's often wise to do so, though by no means is it always necessary -- many don't need it to get properly gendered, and really it's voice work and electrolysis that are just as if not more important in the short run (which isn't short at all, it's all a marathon in the end).
So what, really, is the point of RLE in this day and age? Besides a ritual requirement, I mean. Well, it can be treated as a ritual requirement, just passing the time after performing certain changes in documentation... or it can be treated as an opportunity to immerse one's self in a female life, which necessarily requires (I think) actually getting properly gendered consistently throughout that period.
Back in the day, the transitions I recall getting derailed (in the sense that the goals of consistently receiving female gendering and/or getting to SRS were thwarted) were typically transitions where someone jumped into RLE far too soon -- before getting enough electrolysis, voice work, and facial surgery -- and then failing to adapt to the mixed gendering received, leading to heightened dysphoria... and with that psychological distress the loss of one's job. Without that job, there's no money to finish electrolysis let alone get facial surgery, and being visibly in-between (not to mention continually dysphoric) makes it extremely difficult to find new work. This can turn into a vicious circle... and one that's "practically" irreversible.
And sure, it's a lot better today than it was a couple decades ago, but I think the point still stands -- in many cases, if not most, assuming facial surgery is in one's future, I think it's better to get it (and the electrolysis) before going full-time at work. If the workplace doesn't pan out, for one reason or another, at least one can present reasonably well enough to get a new job and hence secure the funding for bottom surgery, but at least now one is in the same boat as any other woman who's lost her job.
Surely this is a more "practical" approach?
There's no one right way to transition... but I do think there are plenty of "wrong" ways to go about it, too...
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 27, 2017, 01:04:23 AMI HAD to go full time. Waiting for FFS to get done first would have killed me. I was given a hard deadline to leave the house, and I wasn't about to move out, on my own, and still try to get by cross-dressing as male.
Meanwhile, I'm looking at another summer in turtlenecks because 'no trach shave for you.' Gah.
Okay, maybe "wrong" isn't the right word, either. Rather, some transitions are more "impractical"
than others, at least in terms of getting what we ultimately want.
And sometimes circumstances beyond our control force us onto the impractical path, and we just have to make do with what we got. At least you've been able to keep your head afloat, Michelle!
