Basically I came out to close friends as trans and now I'm feeling really dysphoric and I'm scared to come out to my mum because I'm afraid she will just tell me it's a phase or ask me if I'm sure and I'm not 100% sure so I don't know what to do and it's really depressing


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Find a good gender therapist to talk to. They will help you understand what you're feeling and if you're trans or not.

I think cis people tend to need a lot of educating when it comes to trans people. Knowledge about us is sort of the same as the knowledge about gay people back in the 80s. It's best to send an email as that way you can get your thoughts in order. Starting  with how you felt in the past about your gender; how you feel now about it and what are your plans for the future. Also including helpful articles about what trans is and how it's not a phase and is a genuine medical condition (not a mental one). It's likely you'll have to keep standing up for yourself and keep demanding to have your true gender respected.

As for a therapist (if you feel you need or want one to medically transition) find one that follows WPATH standards. The job of a therapist isn't to diagnose you (which is as impossible as diagnosing a person as cis) but to find out if you have had frequent periods of GD, if you seem mature enough to transition if that's what you want and if you have any serious mental conditions which could hinder you from thinking clearly. They should let you guide the conversation instead of interrogating you.

I came out to my dad recently and despite being out as gay for the last few years and him being very sweet and open and understanding in general, the amount of transphobic stuff that came out of his mouth was astonishing. He just doesn't know what it's like. He doesn't understand that its not a chemical imbalance that can be cured. He doesn't understand that medical transitioning is not something that can just sit on the shelf until the family is ready. He doesn't understand that feminine names are dysphoric and that my old pronouns are dysphoric. He just doesn't understand what that feels like despite my explaining it to him. Mind you none of this was malicious. Just plan and simple ignorance.
Cis people will never know what it feels like, the best we can do is try to educate them on why its not ok to do or say certain things. The best we can hope for is that they will standup for us when we are disrespected and love us despite it all.

My dad continues to want to understand and tries to ask questions but its a painfully slow process. I also don't think he's gone out and done any of the work on his own. I think he has just relied on me for education.

I know this probably isn't very hopeful but it's just been my experience with him. My other family members have been very chill about it and just ask simple questions and don't dive too much into it.

Quote from: kings joker on January 30, 2017, 05:01:26 PM
I came out to my dad recently and despite being out as gay for the last few years and him being very sweet and open and understanding in general, the amount of transphobic stuff that came out of his mouth was astonishing. He just doesn't know what it's like. He doesn't understand that its not a chemical imbalance that can be cured. He doesn't understand that medical transitioning is not something that can just sit on the shelf until the family is ready. He doesn't understand that feminine names are dysphoric and that my old pronouns are dysphoric. He just doesn't understand what that feels like despite my explaining it to him. Mind you none of this was malicious. Just plan and simple ignorance.
Cis people will never know what it feels like, the best we can do is try to educate them on why its not ok to do or say certain things. The best we can hope for is that they will standup for us when we are disrespected and love us despite it all.

My dad continues to want to understand and tries to ask questions but its a painfully slow process. I also don't think he's gone out and done any of the work on his own. I think he has just relied on me for education.

I know this probably isn't very hopeful but it's just been my experience with him. My other family members have been very chill about it and just ask simple questions and don't dive too much into it.

Print him out some resources to read. Then if he is still acting like he is now you know he is intentionally not trying.

Any good suggestions?