I guess after we finished all of our trans related stuff, life just awaits us.
We've spent so much energy and motivation on accomplishing our trans related goals and then suddenly... 
we are done, everything is done so what now ... spending this energy (that was consumed by transstuff before)
on something new, hobbies, achievement, relationsships or whatever....
Now life starts and we somehow have to find our part in the world 

Post op life for me is pretty normal. I'm not a girly-girl ie. Dresses, heels, makeup. I try to fit in, not stand out. I'm a jeans kind of gal...no flash, no bling...just being me.
I do t talk about sex postop...that's private in my opinion...but hey, that's me.
I belong to a great church that knew me before transition.
Met a great guy who is with the police and have been married a couple years.
Funniest thing, just over a year ago, I took up hunting and fishing. Never did it before, but after backpacking, spending a lot of time soloing, I wanted more. Now I'm infatuated with it. Something about competing in a mans world and being great at it is very empowering.
Biggest change for me is my distance from the trans world. I have no trans friends...not sure why. I only just rejoined this site a couple days ago as I was getting reminders of posts in my spam folder. I'm glad I rejoined, I like to read how everyone is dealing with life struggles and successes.

At some point soon, I doubt I'll be online much as My hubby and I are selling our house this summer and moving way up north and going off grid. Neither of us thrives in the city, nor do we want to be here.

I found roller derby, another thing I wish I had done earlier in life, but it became my life for almost 8 years.  As I approach 50, I am looking at what is next.  I cannot play derby forever, and each day new kids who have better knees and more stamina keep coming up.  I have often thought about building something (that is not my house, which I have been doing for the last 5 years) or getting back into art.  It has been so long and I am constantly drawn back to it. 

Nina, I can relate to not being the "girly-girl", since it is extremely rare to see me in anything but workout wear or jeans and a t-shirt.  This is just me and just how I live my life.  I popped back into the community to reconnect before I have a few surgeries this year, and then I will probably fade away again, probably staying on the grid, since that is where I work

But I do wonder what is next.  What is the next thing I can do, or be, or create?  The best thing about all of this is that life keeps going on while our community keeps growing.  We may pop back in from time to time to say hello or catch up with old friends which is something that makes us special.  We have each other, we have this community and even though we may not be here all the time, there is always someone out there carrying the torch to help our new brothers and sisters.  And every once in a while, the voices from us old birds can be heard echoing through the halls. 

Life moves on, but we never truly leave as long as we still care for one another. I for one am very happy there is a community like this I can still be part of, when I need it <3

-S

The life part? Well, for starters, I am not post op yet. However I have been different since I can remember and my adolescence was very troublesome, because my parents didn't want to accept me and school is just terrible for children who act and look like girls but 'should be' boys. So I found myself with a very rough start in life and when I was 17 I joined this site mostly for help and figuring out things. (This account was deleted though)-

At 18 I started job hunting as a girl (without my name changed) because my parents had threatened to kick me out. I was shy of 2 months on HRT and was passing everywhere, thanks to my natural mannerisms, a baby face, feminine voice and light frame. Which was why living as "boy" was so hard. People would "clock" me more than they do now,  couldn't even tell what I was (old ladies were nicer thougg, called me little miss). So, yeah, I definitely needed a lot of support and guidance in the beginning. With luck and understanding bosses, I was able to work as a girl, finance my name change, paid for HRT, medical expenses and save. My family finally supports me so it got easier but doesn't deny that I did most of it by myself...

As for why I am less on here...life just goes. I no longer need the same kind of guidance I needed 2 years ago and now I have a more active social life, am studying to be a nurse, am focussing on my hobbies and waiting for thevreferral letter which will allow me to undergo SRS. I get treated as a girl everywhere, I read, I dance and want to do volunteering again or even choir classes. But nobody is interested in other people's mudanes life, I agree, lol. So that's why I no longer post as much. Being treated as a girl is different but not that different from before because I already was different (see what I did there lol eheh), you get told you are pretty, get talked down to in jobs and people assume you are dumb. My life is now about not letting those stereotypes get to the best of me and help people in ways I can. I am not out and proud as many on here, but that is my choice and there's other ways I can help people than being out.

A part of me is selfish and wants to make up for the lost childhood but I also like helping people, which is why I volunteeered and am now  studying nursing.  That is all fow now, sorry for the rambling lol

Post-Op Life.

Looking back on it all.  After my physical transition in 77.  Life just became the same as most people, boring.

My partner and a bought a house in the suburbs of WASH DC in 83, and we just blended into our work neighbors family like two woman growing old.  Left what little there was of a LGBT community behind.

I retired in 2011 and after she died in 2014, I decided to get back out to the LGBT community.

Looking back on this, I tell the ones going thru this to think about what it is they want to do or be after.

I was in IT maintenance and had to wear pants and simple tops for work.  I was a very girly type when not at work, but after a while that became too much of a chore.
I have decided to go back to being an older girly type, and am having some fun again.
Even hoping for some kind of love/sex life again.  Not easy being 66.

My perspective pre op was always that surgery was sort of a black hole. People in real life support groups got it, then just disappeared. I always said I wouldn't be one of them, but I understand why now.

I'm only a month post op, so maybe my thoughts will change, but right now what I'm finding is this feels a lot like the beginning of the transition instead of the end. I breezed through so many things on the mad quest to get the surgery that now I'm thinking oh crap. I have no experience in some very basic life experiences, like dating, basically being a virgin, interviewing for a job, going to a funeral or wedding, etc. And the only way to get that experience is to put my focus into life and interact with people that are already fully assimilated into society.

I still come back here once in a while like many others, but I don't spend all day here like I used to.

Quote from: Emileeeee on February 11, 2017, 12:00:55 PMMy perspective pre op was always that surgery was sort of a black hole. People in real life support groups got it, then just disappeared. I always said I wouldn't be one of them, but I understand why now.

I'm only a month post op, so maybe my thoughts will change, but right now what I'm finding is this feels a lot like the beginning of the transition instead of the end. I breezed through so many things on the mad quest to get the surgery that now I'm thinking oh crap. I have no experience in some very basic life experiences, like dating, basically being a virgin, interviewing for a job, going to a funeral or wedding, etc. And the only way to get that experience is to put my focus into life and interact with people that are already fully assimilated into society.

Yes.

There are other worlds than these.

I'm starting post-op life tomorrow (the recovery has been more surviving than living), But I will still deal with trans stuff.

- My transition was a speedrun to surgery, so I left a lot of things on the way. body LHR, facial electro, voice training... I plan to continue working on that. I have also been pretty secluded from society all this time, so I have to start all of that from scratch.

- I will keep assisting to my discussion / support group for LGBT women. I can help other transwomen with my experience, but overall I will mostly identify as a lesbian.

- I still have a lot of therapy to do. Transition was not exactly smooth for me and I have a lot emotional scars and trauma that I need to work on. My body is healing well, my mind is still quite broken

- Maybe I will try dating / sex once I feel emotionally better

- I will try to combine work with going to college. I want to study psychology and being able to help other trans folk would be nice. Not a lot of therapist with experience around here.

Quote from: Sophia Sage on February 11, 2017, 12:36:46 PM

Quote from: Emileeeee on February 11, 2017, 12:00:55 PMMy perspective pre op was always that surgery was sort of a black hole. People in real life support groups got it, then just disappeared. I always said I wouldn't be one of them, but I understand why now.

I'm only a month post op, so maybe my thoughts will change, but right now what I'm finding is this feels a lot like the beginning of the transition instead of the end. I breezed through so many things on the mad quest to get the surgery that now I'm thinking oh crap. I have no experience in some very basic life experiences, like dating, basically being a virgin, interviewing for a job, going to a funeral or wedding, etc. And the only way to get that experience is to put my focus into life and interact with people that are already fully assimilated into society.

Yes.

There are other worlds than these.

Go then. Ka is a wheel.

Quote from: Wynternight on March 17, 2017, 09:09:17 AM
Yes.

There are other worlds than these.


Go then. Ka is a wheel.

I hope that movie comes out soon. I don't have time to read that series all over again.