On tuesday I will talk to my shrink about this. That I need a transgender specialized therapist. I am already nervous. But this will be done.

I've had a psychosis in 2010. What risk is there that she will think I am delusional? I've been ok for 4 years.

I think that will depend on your personal history and your relationship with your therapist. At the end of the day, just be prepared to go into your session being honest with them and with yourself. Don't be afraid to talk about your own worries and fears. For me, the fear that I might not be trans/ the fear that I wouldn't be believed, really helped to assure me that I am transgender. I know this is WAY easier said than done, but don't worry so much. You won't be able to have a good grasp of the situation until you're in it. Just take the weekend and try to preoccupy yourself with something you like to do. Believe me, before you know it you'll be anxiously awaiting the next session.

One of the jobs of a gender therapist is to distinguish between gender dysphoria and other conditions.  So don't be surprised if the therapist asks questions probing that in connection with your earlier history.  It's their job. 

Having (or having had) other conditions doesn't prevent you from transitioning.  They just want to be sure that any other conditions are or have been treated adequately, and that your judgement at present is not clouded.

Just relax, be yourself and be honest, and all will work out well.

Hopefully you have an honest open relationship with your therapist. One question to find out is has this therapist worked with any trans person before? They don't need to be a specialized gender therapist if they just have experience, an open mind, and some training in the field. My therapist is not a specialist but she has worked with a few trans people before. She is actually semi retired but when I told her I was dealing with transgender issues and I needed help she made me an appointment. After the first session she asked if I wanted to see her weekly. We had a very open first session and after the first few minutes I dove right in to opening up. She is actually near 70 but keeps current on therapist training. I look forward to every session with her and let's face it I need that outlet.

Thank you! I will see what happens on tuesday.

I was afraid she would think I'm delusional. Can it help to bring pictures from my childhood/teens to show her that I look like a guy even with long hair? I was not allowed to cut my hair because my parents told me I'd look like a boy.

I never had makeup or girl's cloths.

We all tell different stories but there is a common theme that runs through all of them. Your story contains the theme of ->-bleeped-<- and any good therapist should see it as well. If it makes you more comfortable, feel free to bring your old pictures with you but I don't think they will be needed as it's important how you feel and not how you appear. By the end of your appointment, I suspect your fears should be replaced with joy.

Thank you Dena.

I have told a friend and she said she is not surprised at all. I told her some years ago.

You are right. It's how I feel that counts. I have almost always dressed as I feel.

When my sister was married I was dressed up like a woman. Had my hair done and wore a dress. My grandmother walked by 3 times (!!!) and then she asked one of the girls where I was.  Hahaha. I did it for my sister. She had a perfect wedding.