As I say when starting off every post/reply on here, I am not transitioning yet and am not out to anyone but my friends.

Anyway, I've been looking into top and bottom surgery for a few years. To be completely honest, I research top more than bottom just because priorities, and I'm not sure if I even want bottom yet. It's a lot to think about all at once, you know?

However, I definitely don't know extreme details of how the surgeries are done like most guys here seem to. I'm not asking you how they are done, because I could look that up easily. It's just that I get really uncomfortable looking into every single detail of the surgeries, especially bottom. I know I'll have to deal with hearing about it one day, and I'll be as casual about it then as every guy is, but right now I just... yikes. I get physically very uncomfortable hearing about top/bottom surgeries details, but not most other medical procedures unrelated to trans things.

Did anyone else feel this way before getting the surgeries yourselves/physically planning on them, or feeling that way now? Just curious.

Yeah I do.

Which makes no sense. I've dissected stuff, I was a biology student, I'm not squeamish in the slightest over blood.

But looking at the surgery down there and let's just say I find myself in an unconscious defensive posture. And I'm weirded out by the thought of being unconscious and helpless.

On the plus side you don't really need to know all the details of everything they do, or even to see it. All you need to know is the general stuff and to take care of yourself afterward. I could sit and watch videos of them doing the surgeries I want but it won't help me in the slightest to see it being done.

I also get the squeamish defensive position when reading about bottom surgery stuff. I take this as a sign of not being ready for it. I generally know what meta and phallio is. I know generally know what donor areas are good for and the like but I don't need to know every nitty gritty detail until I KNOW I'm getting the surgery.

Don't sweat it until you actually have a doctors appointment and the money saved up.

Quote from: Kylo on February 13, 2017, 05:42:35 PM
Yeah I do.

Which makes no sense. I've dissected stuff, I was a biology student, I'm not squeamish in the slightest over blood.

But looking at the surgery down there and let's just say I find myself in an unconscious defensive posture. And I'm weirded out by the thought of being unconscious and helpless.

On the plus side you don't really need to know all the details of everything they do, or even to see it. All you need to know is the general stuff and to take care of yourself afterward. I could sit and watch videos of them doing the surgeries I want but it won't help me in the slightest to see it being done.

Yeah, the idea of being unconscious during any surgery makes me slightly uncomfortable, let alone having my lower body exposed and touched. Just typing this is making me feel... bleh.

But that last part - that is true. I suppose I get caught up in hearing all these guys know the nitty gritty details and I feel severely uneducated.

Quote from: kings joker on February 13, 2017, 06:25:20 PM
I also get the squeamish defensive position when reading about bottom surgery stuff. I take this as a sign of not being ready for it. I generally know what meta and phallio is. I know generally know what donor areas are good for and the like but I don't need to know every nitty gritty detail until I KNOW I'm getting the surgery.

Don't sweat it until you actually have a doctors appointment and the money saved up.

I agree. It's just unfortunate that I need to know all the side effects and what they're doing just so I know what I'm getting into. I'll know when planning it, though. Just not now.

If it helps, during surgeries you know nothing, feel nothing, and the time flies. You might have what feels like a vivid dream of something unrelated that seems like it lasts 5 mins and then you'll be waking up in the recovery room.

I have a fear of helplessness, which includes things like surgery, but I've undergone it before and I know the fear is in the mind and you won't have to face it when the time comes because you'll be out like a light.

I found that consistent exposure will desensitize you to it. When I started researching what procedures I wanted, I looked at pictures from all stages - pre-op, on the operating table, immediately post-op, months post-op, etc. I listened to talks from surgeons, or the experiences of other guys.

Now I can look at gory surgery photos all day and with no medical background, can give you a simplified version of what exactly is going on in each shot. Which I think is important, especially for bottom surgery. It's a complicated set of procedures and most guys will need to link up with a urologist to handle any issues that arise. Much easier to do if you can explain exactly what went on down there.

What bothers me more is thinking about it in the context of myself. Like if I'm looking at those photos and thinking "Hey, my bits are going to look like that in 35 days". I get this weird droppy feeling in my stomach for a few seconds. I'm kind of glad that I won't be awake and won't have to see anything but the before and after.

My hysto was the first surgery I had where I was totally naked (top surgery I kept my shorts on). It was very disconcerting, being someone who never lets anyone see them naked. Especially as I'm sitting on the operating table before getting put under and just seeing a steady stream of doctors and nurses coming in. Like, how many people do they really need to take a uterus out? They use a robot for pete's sake, shouldn't that reduce the number of people that need to see this show? I'm sure at least 20 people saw my goodies that day.

It gets easier though? After that I went to 3 different bottom surgery consultations, dropped my drawers for all of them, and never once felt like it was a big deal.

Yeah same. I know I should be looking up top surgeons but I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm ok watching other people have surgeries but when I think about myself having top surgery it scares me. Not helped by me reading an article yesterday about accidental awareness; a woman who woke up during her surgery.

I know a terrific surgeon I can go too; so I may just go to him without researching in depth the procedure or other surgeons.

Quote from: Kylo on February 13, 2017, 07:52:14 PM
If it helps, during surgeries you know nothing, feel nothing, and the time flies. You might have what feels like a vivid dream of something unrelated that seems like it lasts 5 mins and then you'll be waking up in the recovery room.

I have a fear of helplessness, which includes things like surgery, but I've undergone it before and I know the fear is in the mind and you won't have to face it when the time comes because you'll be out like a light.

Hmmm, that's all true. I understand your fear. I think another thing that really freaks me out is how it'll feel after surgery, and how gross everything will be. Especially bottom surgery.

Quote from: Elis on February 14, 2017, 07:39:28 AM
Yeah same. I know I should be looking up top surgeons but I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm ok watching other people have surgeries but when I think about myself having top surgery it scares me. Not helped by me reading an article yesterday about accidental awareness; a woman who woke up during her surgery.

I know a terrific surgeon I can go too; so I may just go to him without researching in depth the procedure or other surgeons.

Oh, god. That article sounds terrifying and I haven't even read it. But I can relate to not being able to handle imagining getting it yourself, but with others, it's fine. That's a huge part of my problem. I'm glad I see others feeling the same, because usually it seems like everyone getting surgery is immune to being freaked out like us commoners. Not saying they don't ever get nervous, just that they seem a lot more chill because they've done tremendous research and all.

Quote from: FTMax on February 13, 2017, 08:18:38 PM
I found that consistent exposure will desensitize you to it. When I started researching what procedures I wanted, I looked at pictures from all stages - pre-op, on the operating table, immediately post-op, months post-op, etc. I listened to talks from surgeons, or the experiences of other guys.

Now I can look at gory surgery photos all day and with no medical background, can give you a simplified version of what exactly is going on in each shot. Which I think is important, especially for bottom surgery. It's a complicated set of procedures and most guys will need to link up with a urologist to handle any issues that arise. Much easier to do if you can explain exactly what went on down there.

What bothers me more is thinking about it in the context of myself. Like if I'm looking at those photos and thinking "Hey, my bits are going to look like that in 35 days". I get this weird droppy feeling in my stomach for a few seconds. I'm kind of glad that I won't be awake and won't have to see anything but the before and after.

My hysto was the first surgery I had where I was totally naked (top surgery I kept my shorts on). It was very disconcerting, being someone who never lets anyone see them naked. Especially as I'm sitting on the operating table before getting put under and just seeing a steady stream of doctors and nurses coming in. Like, how many people do they really need to take a uterus out? They use a robot for pete's sake, shouldn't that reduce the number of people that need to see this show? I'm sure at least 20 people saw my goodies that day.

It gets easier though? After that I went to 3 different bottom surgery consultations, dropped my drawers for all of them, and never once felt like it was a big deal.

Yeah, I figured that exposure would desensitize you. I just have problems exposing myself so much. Partially because it's gross, partially because I get overwhelmed. The latter happens because I'm not even transitioning slightly yet, so thinking about every aspect of surgeries is overwhelming.

I definitely feel more uncomfortable thinking that I'm the one getting the surgery. That's what makes my body do the weird thing too. I'm glad it's gotten better for you though, and that you can heal quickly after your next surgery.

Quote from: lc100 on February 16, 2017, 04:42:23 PM
Hmmm, that's all true. I understand your fear. I think another thing that really freaks me out is how it'll feel after surgery, and how gross everything will be. Especially bottom surgery.

Still not sure how I feel about lower surgery. Top though, it's not going to feel like anything if they give you painkillers and order you to wear compression bandages for 2 weeks (hopefully anyway). I find the chest looks weird on others in photos right after... I mean it's offputting... but then look at how they look a year or so on and eventually it all looks normal in the majority of pics. Any surgery looks ugly at first whether it's your appendix out or your chest reshaped I suppose.