Have you had an problems with cis men? If so do they know you're trans?

No problems whatsoever, far as know, for that particular reason. 

Judged... yea, I suppose. Some are quite surprised by the power of testosterone at work, and what it can do to a body. I've had a few comments about how unfair it will be if I end up looking manlier than they do, which is in good humor, but it proves they're paying attention and 'gauging' my changes and "maleness level" or something lol. I haven't been judged a deviant or an abomination yet, or anything of that sort by anyone. I was always an anomaly, they see my behavior has never changed, so it's no real surprise to them I figure.

Out on the street? No. No-one cares.

I'm not at the point where I am clocked as male yet, for the most part, but not fully female either. Ask me in 6 months lol

Quote from: Kylo on February 14, 2017, 08:43:43 PM
No problems whatsoever, far as know, for that particular reason. 

Judged... yea, I suppose. Some are quite surprised by the power of testosterone at work, and what it can do to a body. I've had a few comments about how unfair it will be if I end up looking manlier than they do, which is in good humor, but it proves they're paying attention and 'gauging' my changes and "maleness level" or something lol. I haven't been judged a deviant or an abomination yet, or anything of that sort by anyone. I was always an anomaly, they see my behavior has never changed, so it's no real surprise to them I figure.

Out on the street? No. No-one cares.

If you don't mind, where do you live?

UK.

I keep myself to myself and my circle of friends so I'm not mixing with tons of people all the time. If I did I would expect more issues. The cis men I know who do not know haven't said anything. The cis men that do know that I know have barely mentioned it at all. For some odd reason, quite a few of my cis male friends are military or ex-military (and those are my closest friends so they do know). Not one of them has dwelled much on it. In fact, those guys have accepted me as one of them faster than the rest, something I did not expect. But then they know my personality and that I'm basically on their page, we've all been hanging for 12 years plus and I'm just a few inches shorter. 

I did expect judgement problems. But if there has been any, nobody has seen fit to lay them on me.

Quote from: Kylo on February 14, 2017, 09:30:56 PM
UK.

I keep myself to myself and my circle of friends so I'm not mixing with tons of people all the time. If I did I would expect more issues. The cis men I know who do not know haven't said anything. The cis men that do know that I know have barely mentioned it at all. For some odd reason, quite a few of my cis male friends are military or ex-military. Not one of them has dwelled much on it. In fact, those guys have accepted me as one of them faster than the rest, something I did not expect. But then they know my personality and that I'm basically on their page, we've all been hanging for 12 years plus and I'm just a few inches shorter. 

I did expect judgement problems. But if there has been any, nobody has seen fit to lay them on me.

I'm American and most of my friends are transgender, LGBT or very accepting cis straight people. Most of the people I currently associate with are members of my open minded Unitarian Universalist church congregation. That's one reason I would feel safe to transition. Our current political situation (Trump)makes it harder for me to transition.

Please define how it is harder to transition under the present administration?

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: KarlMars on February 14, 2017, 09:45:29 PM
I'm American and most of my friends are transgender, LGBT or very accepting cis straight people. Most of the people I currently associate with are members of my open minded Unitarian Universalist church congregation. That's one reason I would feel safe to transition. Our current political situation (Trump)makes it harder for me to transition.

If you're going to retain the same circle of friends I doubt their views will be affected by it. If you are talking about it affecting medical insurance and available care in the US, I'm not sure about that, but I know people are debating it on transboards atm and it's a valid concern if there's plans to withdraw access to treatment.

But if you think judgement is going to spike as a result... I don't think that's worth delaying for.

My coworkers know Im trans since I only started transitioning and hadnt had my male name yet (literally the only thing giving me away...besides my parents) .  I work at a corporate company that was all for equality in race, age, class, gender etc. so legally by company standards no one could discriminate me even  if they wanted to.

Ive never had an actual conversation about my transness, I think word or knowledge got around in the background that I was female because of seeing my legal name. One of my coworkers asked me which pronoun I go by. My other coworker stumbled sheepishly on using the pronoun sir, asking me if that was alright, and unsure of if he was offending me or not, and just confused about people like me, he told me he just sees me as a friend and doesnt think about if Im a guy or girl. One of my other coworkers who is probably religious always stumbles on saying sir but then awkwardly changes it to my name (gender neutral nickname) right afterwards because apparently she doesnt like calling me sir.

The only time when my transness came into play was when my parents harassed me at work, some of my coworkers were sympathetic to my plight, one of them asked me what I was, and I just said Im [my name], she nodded understandingly saying "You're just you".

Overall, the people, even particularly the males at my workplace, just treat me like a person who happens to be a guy. Even if a few of them might be confused, and that's fine by me. I couldnt ask for better treatment.


The guys who are customers who dont know me just use male related terms and pronouns to refer to me, using male mannerisms and such when communicating with me, Im pretty much just another guy.

...would also like to add, if youre in a public business or professional open area where it'd be rude, most people arent going to be offensive to you off the bat for fear of being judged as an a-hole publicly, if you ever get harsh treatment in public it will probably be from harsh stares or avoidance or people gossipping behind your back, which is awful in itself but since the social situation demands they cant act on it thats as bad as it will get.

I think harsher treatment relies on more closed off, fixed groups of people you could find yourself interacting with, people in specific places where they can openly voice their dismay or ask risky questions to make you uncomfortable.

As stated above, the main indicators of these sorts of treatments are location, time, and place. A doctor's office or educated university  in a good side of town is less likely to leave you open to harrassment than a club or a cheap supermarket on a bad side of town.

If you keep good company and avoid bad situations, you'll often be safe. I know this isnt always the case where you cant leave home or town, and especially for preT guys, but that's just how it seems to work.

No problems whatsoever from guys that know I'm trans and guys that don't. I don't get treated any differently than any other dude. Obviously you can never know what people really think about you and don't say, but going completely off of how I am treated, I think everyone's fine with it or at least understands that it's truly not a big deal.

I'm going out for bottom surgery for 3 weeks next month. All of my employees are male and 75% of them know exactly what surgery I'm going out for. Still no different treatment, just lots of well wishing and hopes that I'll feel well enough to come back by week 4. I would imagine they'd treat me exactly the same if I was a cis guy having some other procedure done.

I don't think I'm read as anything but male by strangers, and never get hassled about anything. I may be on the short side for a dude, but nobody ever comments on it. I went bowling over the weekend and the guy grabbing shoes didn't bat an eye when I asked for a size 7.

I have found in all areas of life that the nicer, friendlier, more skilled, etc. you are, the more people are willing to look past other things. It won't have any affect if they're jerks in general, but why would the opinion of a jerk matter to you in the first place?

While I know I'm a little privileged in that I'm effectively done with my transition as all of these proposed changes to insurance coverage are taking place, I will say that there are many, many people in the world who transitioned before the ACA and trans inclusive coverage was a thing. There are also many, many more resources out there now. If I were pre-everything currently, I would maybe feel a little anxious just due to how much negative talk there is out there. But I would still proceed forward. If people found a way to do this in the 70s, 80s, 90s, etc. there is no reason in this day and age why I would not be able to find a path forward.

I've never had a problem with this. My friends usually forget that I /AM/ trans. I've had doctors and legal officials confuse me for a pre transition MTF individual more often than a transitioned FTM individual when I have to tell them about my situation. But nobody goes out of their way to judge me for it. They see how happy I am and move on.

I get a lot of shocked responses when I end up telling people "Hey I'm not a cis male". I've got a pretty full looking beard so I'm never mistaken for a woman. The only "female" sign I have is my short little goblin height of 5'4" but I blame that on my Spinal Fusion surgery.

Unless I trust the person, I'm not gonna go out of my way to tell them I'm trans. Girlfriend? She would need to know. Close friends and Family? Yes. Doctors and legal officials? Yes. Acquaintances, co-workers, new friends: Unnecessary. I tell the people who I deem necessary to tell.

No problems at all. From those that know I'm trans or from those that do. I've gotten congrats even. Inquiries and fascination at times. But never any problems.

Short answer:
If you aren't a jerk to people they will usually treat you fine.

Long Answer:
Males socialize and interact very differently than females do. I'm from the Southern US. All my childhood friends are what most people would consider rednecks. I'm also a veteran and all my army friends are super conservative too. I don't think I know anybody that didn't vote for Trump. (except lgbt friends of course) None of my friends were suprised when I transitioned and they have all been fine with it. I get some weird drunk questions, but they are my friends and I don't really mind because we talk about that stuff anyways. I work in a traditionally male job, and nobody at work knows I'm trans.

It honestly has a lot to do with how much you want to embrace the binary though. if you are a manly man its going to be easier for you because you probably have socialized with a lot of guys anyways. Guys seem way more upfront about their feelings about people, they tend not to gossip. If they don't like you it's usually because you did something that made them mad and they get over stuff pretty easily.

I have noticed that when around UU and mostly lgbt communities there's a lot of talk about gender and stuff. Most people don't talk like that, and most of the straight guys you interact with won't want to know. If you pass then you're a guy to them, if you aren't passing yet you might have to remind them more often. I found that any time I was misgendered by my friends they weren't trying to be jerks, they just weren't paying attention/being lazy. I don't out myself as trans to strangers, and my friends don't either because they know some people out there would judge all of us, but they are few and far between.



Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk

I've yet to have a problem with cis men. If anything, they assume I'm a 16 year old dude until I tell them how old I am. Nobody knows, and the ones who do haven't had an issue with it and treat me like a close long lost brother.

I haven't "transitioned" yet but in general I've never had a problem with cis men. I have always had cis men friends who have treated me like a guy because I act like one. My only problems with people's gender assumptions have come since I became a parent... when apparently everyone immediately stopped seeing me as anything more than a "mom". This has been more of a problem with how cis women see me than cis men.

Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk