Hey guys so I'm currently a guy and Ive always wanted to be a girl and I've faced ridicule at every turn in my life , even from my own family. But just recently I've kinda realized that other people's opinions don't matter and don't make me who I am, I make me who I am! Anyways I don't really know where to start, I've always been a closet crossdresser and I've been caught a few times but im ready to really start treatment and do this because I hate not being happy with myself. I also recently realized how hard this all is. Does anybody know of any way of helping? Weather it's like clothes or advice ANYTHING helps a bunch!!! This is a big step going semi public and I hope you accept me.

Welcome!

Unfortunately I am the last person to ask about dressing. My mom buys me cloths. Haha
But there are good threads on these matters.

I believe the secret is not to over-do it. Keep it simple and normal. Both makup and cloths.

Step one is find a therapist.

However you have taken a few huge steps already.  Realizing you don't need to please others is very helpful.

- Dee

Thanks Dee I'm think of starting hrt and then once I start to see changes starting to buy new clothes, I do already see a therapist bit for other reasons and I know it a highly recommend to see one about this but I don't think I can afford another one anyway so I might just not get a theirpist

Jerad,

I think this issue is something you need to share with your current therapist.  Your therapist needs to have all the picture.  How can a therapist help the whole you if you let them see part of you.  You therapist may let you know that the gender identity aspect is more than they can handle.  In that case they should help you find someone else to take the baton.

Stephanie

I would say going without therapy is akin to walking a tightrope without a safety net. Depending on where you live there are local social groups that can direct you. Not only do they know the local Doc's but just the moral support is so necessary. In my own case it only took two sessions with Kristi before she wrote my authorization. I learned more in the therapy session at Ingersoll Gender Center in one visit than I imagined all my life. I'm going back tonight if the rain holds off. There are online therapists that work through Skype.

I'm on therapy for a completely understand related reason and I'm actually working towards stopping therapy, I only go 4 times a year

Hi and welcome to the site.

I too would highly suggest talking to your current therapist and cluing them in. Perhaps they can help find a gender therapist if that is not in their ball park. I believe their help in clearing clutter and helping to find your path so you can come to your own conclusions, is very important. That's me though.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to:

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Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

Thanks guys something I probably shoulda mentioned is my parents are 100% agsnt this, I have not told them anything about what I am (trans) but they have made it clear that they frown upon us.

It has been said in pretty much every post so far, but I am going to reiterate it.. Therapy! It is such a critical step, and should absolutely be your first big one. Owning a few clothes and dressing is all good of course, but this is a huge decision to make and needs the clarity that talking through your feelings on the matter with a professional will bring.

Going to therapy was a great help for me and made it very clear who I needed to be and how to get there. Regardless of how you chose to proceed -and I very much hope you chose to take our advice- I wish you all the best <3

Therapist, with your written permission, can talk to your parents.  Some people here have had group therapy with parents or spouse some with positive results.  That may be an option.

I agree with Denise a "gender therapist" who understands and has had training in this specific area can help you tremendously even with your parents. There are also books and movies out there. I would recommend watching "Gender Revolution with Katie Couric" if you get something out of it maybe your parents can as well. For me it was very enlightening. As far as books go I would also recommend "Transitions" by Mara Christine Drummond.
Between these and a gender therapist I hope you and your parents can gain a better understanding.

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Well the thing is with my parents is that's I'm moving out very soon and I don't really care for their acceptance of that's what your assuming😂. But I mean besides therapy, which I will look into, what other Tips can you give me, one question I have is about padding my hips of working out to achieve the shape I want, also I'm not on estrogen yet so would working out negate the effect of .... Widening my hips I guess?

Quote from: Jared3339 on February 16, 2017, 06:50:20 PM
Well the thing is with my parents is that's I'm moving out very soon and I don't really care for their acceptance of that's what your assuming😂. But I mean besides therapy, which I will look into, what other Tips can you give me, one question I have is about padding my hips of working out to achieve the shape I want, also I'm not on estrogen yet so would working out negate the effect of .... Widening my hips I guess?

Im assuming that you should less strength training and a lot of cardio. Those are usually the tips given on here.
You tube videos for makeup also doesn't hurt to watch a pro do your make up once so you have the first hand knowledge, they can also help you find the color tones that best fit your face.

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Step number two would be facial hair removal. It takes so long and depending on the method used, passing can be difficult while you are doing it. Most of the time your body isn't what will give you away. Your face, voice or mannerism are the most common areas of trouble.