First off, had my first gender therapist appointment scheduled for last Friday but she had to postpone. It was horrendous! I was such an emotional wreck. Waiting so long for the day then learning twelve hours before that it would have to wait two more weeks. Ugh!!

Anyway, I shaved my legs and it felt AMAZING!!! It freaked my wife out a little but I sat there in my robe with my legs curled up under me and they were sooooo smooth. Then I started thinking.... I know, trouble right? But what is so inherently feminine about shaved legs?

I've read that women never shaved until the early 1900's when dress lengths started their slow climb up the leg. Women who don't shave their legs still feel like women. Why is conforming to this societal norm so important? What else will I do just because society dictates it as gender specific?

I feel like such a hypocrite because I've stressed to both my daughters that social dictates as to body image and gender stereotypes shouldn't mean squat to their self worth and yet here I am green with envy at a women who just rocks a tube dress with that 3:2:3 figure.

What do I want to achieve for my own well being??? I don't know really. I guess I just want to feel pretty. Breasts would feel totally natural and help with making the clothes feel right. For some reason female clothes on this male body just doesn't feel right. Maybe it's just internalized transphobia from my childhood lessons that everyone outside of the norm were sick freaks. I don't know.

Anyway, that's what's rolling through this head right now. I feel I need to share more to help those who are just reading along. Everyone hear has been so nice and helpful to me. Those of you who haven't found your voice yet, you're not alone.

Rescheduled my first appointment with the gender therapist on the third. Emotional rollercoaster starts again lol. Wheeeeeeeeee


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So I've had similar hypocritical thoughts.  This is what I've concluded, cis women don't need to justify their gender, we do.  Look around, baggy sweatshirts, sneakers, frumpy pants, hair pulled back out, no makeup, no jewelry.  People see them as they are but the dozen little things, no facial hair shadow, bone structure of their face, their stance... basically the micro little things that we (MTF) didn't do for years say "woman"

We need to show the big things so the little ones are overlooked, we hope.

Just my opinion.

For me, transition kind of settled those thoughts, but I started out the same way you're describing. I think it's because I spent my whole life pre-transition trying to fit male stereotypes to fit in and ended up falling in the same hole when I started the transition, just on the feminine side.

I started off faking everything again to fit in and after about 6 months, I stopped caring what other people thought. Now I pretty much only shave my legs if someone's going to see them, the only time I don't wear jeans and t-shirts is on date night, and that's also pretty much the only time I bother with makeup too. You'll find what makes you feel most comfortable as you progress through the process.

Something often forgotten is that CIS women often start playing with their gender presentation pre teen by playing dress up. This can continue into their teens where they are always attempting to duplicate the latest fashions. Once in their 20s they have pretty well decided how they wish to present and go with what they are comfortable with.

We sometimes attempt to duplicate this and I admit to buying a few things that I never walked out the door with. Fortunately for me that didn't happen very much but it's a part of self discovery. I still shave my legs though less in the winter than in the summer. I think I would hear from my mom if I walked in the office in short pants and hairy legs.  In the winter, it just doesn't feel right having really hairy legs but do what makes you feel comfortable.

Shaved legs do feel nice, until the stubble starts appearing a couple days later, then you have to deal with sharp "leg beard" hair. Yes, I called it "leg beard" . Aside from the aesthetic appeal of shaved legs, there's also practical reasons to shave your legs; for example, it reduces the amount of time it takes road rash to heal. Though unless you ride a bicycle a significant amount, road rash probably isn't going to be a big enough concern for you to use it as an excuse to shave your legs. As someone who isn't out, this is my practical excuse.

Also, the unshaved hair on a cis female leg is light years different from the unshaved hair on a trans woman's leg until she's been on HRT for a good few years. I used to shave my legs right through the winter. Now, after two and a half years of HRT, I revel in the fineness and sparseness of the hair growing on my legs in the winter.

But I shave them In the summer. Telling women they don't have to conform to society's norms quickly morphs to telling women that they MUST not conform. That form of feminism, that seems to hate any trait which is traditionally feminine, is as sexist as anything men practice.

Shave your legs, or do not. You're not any less a woman either way. Just follow your bliss, not someone else's.

Quote from: scoot62 on February 21, 2017, 04:36:17 PM
First off, had my first gender therapist appointment scheduled for last Friday but she had to postpone. It was horrendous! I was such an emotional wreck. Waiting so long for the day then learning twelve hours before that it would have to wait two more weeks. Ugh!!


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If I can remember (which I can), that would have sent into an total emotional wreck as well. The waiting is hell but that last 24 hrs has to be the longest in history...but moreover on to your point. I think as trans women we tend to be a harsher on ourselves than anyone else. I am so fed up with trying to work all this stuff out that I decided to just be me and if that means I wear track pants and T-shirts then it is in no way a reflection on my femineity any more than it is on my wifes', when she choose to wear that...and lets face it...doing housework in heels can be problematic as is moving the lawns. You are experiencing these sensations as new but after awhile it just becomes you and you wouldn't think of not having them shaved, you are a woman as susceptible to the pressures as all women are. I thank my wife for her guiding hand on a number of things I thought might be a good idea until she saved me with her lifelong experience.

Enjoy it for what it is, life is full of all sorts of joys unfortunately sometimes we just don't take the time to enjoy them...shaved legs with hose/stockings on feels great to me and I bet it does to many cis women too which is why they do it.

Liz

I'm just on an emotional roller coaster right now. So many questions and so few answers. I am so looking forward to my session. I know it'll all work out. I appreciate all your thoughts on the subject ladies. Thankyou.

Hugs,

Hope


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QuoteI feel like such a hypocrite because I've stressed to both my daughters that social dictates as to body image and gender stereotypes shouldn't mean squat to their self worth and yet here I am green with envy at a women who just rocks a tube dress with that 3:2:3 figure.

One's good advice and the other is your own personal desires. You can have both. Your kids will end up doing what they want, too.

Quote from: scoot62 on February 21, 2017, 04:36:17 PMBut what is so inherently feminine about shaved legs?

Society's standards of beauty seem arbitrary (and are too rigidly enforced, but that's another discussion), but they have a basis in biology.  We exaggerate natural differences between the sexes and the result is deemed beautiful.  Women (on average) have less body hair than men and so hairless legs are deemed beautiful.  Same for high heels: women's legs (on average) are slimmer than men's so heels, which make your legs look longer and therefore slimmer, are deemed beautiful.