I have been visiting this site for a while and find the topics interesting.  One that comes to mind in about "Monika" who had a penectomy and I've also read about M-F transgenders.  These are both areas that interest me and have given a lot of thought to over the years.  Much of my story has been mentioned in another thread, but I'll state it here again.

I was born in the '50s and grew up in the '60s.  Back then, things were strictly binary and people hid things about themselves that were not considered "normal".  Even being homosexual was illegal back then.  So, we had to keep things such as this hidden, perhaps revealing only to those closest to us, though even that could cause problems.  When I was a kid, I developed an interest in wearing lingerie and even "borrowed" things from my sister, but was terrified I'd be caught.  I eventually reached the point, after I moved out on my own, when I would start buying pantyhose for myself, but still scared people would know.  Shortly after I met a girlfriend, who would become my wife, I told her I liked to wear pantyhose.  She was a bit apprehensive at first, but then came to enjoy me wearing pantyhose or stockings.  After we split, for other reasons, I started with a cross dresser group and frequently went out fully dressed to fetish parties and other occasions.  My first desires to be other than a guy started after I read about a man who had M - F surgery.  I had never heard of such a thing before.  Since then, I have often thought about having a sex change.  I have also often thought about a penectomy, as Monika had, or castration.  However, as much as I might like those ideas, I don't think surgery would be appropriate for me, at least not yet.  On the other hand, I still maintain my love of wearing feminine things and wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish every day.  That is simply who I am.  I wish I had been able to come to this realization many years before I did, as I have missed so much.

Welcome.

If it feels right for you it is right. Not everyone does surgery, some do it at once, some wait and others don't do it at all.
It is all allright.

Welcome to Susan's Place. People have different desires when deciding surgery. Without knowing more about your reasons for a penectomy, I throw out another option. That would be a blind vagina. With that option, the exterior appearance is correct including a functional clitoris but you heal faster from it and there is no need to dilate. We have a member who has just undergone that surgery and you can read about it here. Feel free to continue your exploration and if you have any questions, just ask.

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I considered a penectomy or castration, in addition to SRS, as I'm not happy being male.  I want something different.  Should I go through with surgery, I'd have to make the appropriate decision.  With those options, I have 3 different degrees of change.

I don't know if you've read Monika's thread about a penectomy, but here it is:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,186475.20.html

I'll read that thread you provided.  Earlier I had read one about someone (CarrieLiz?) who used dialators etc..

BTW, I have been lurking here for quite a while, but only registered today.

I saw that thread a long time ago, well in the last two years anyway. Her decision was based on the fact she is asexual and had no desire for sex of any form. The blind vagina allows for external simulation and naturally the full surgery allows for penetration. Also cost are higher when the surgery is more complex so it comes down to what you can afford and what will you be the most content with. The truth be told, while have have the full surgery, I still haven't used any of it. I continue to dilate just incase but if I haven't found a use for in in 34 years, it's not to likely I will in the future.

While I certainly enjoy sex with women, I have also enjoyed it with men.  However, sex is generally not that important to me.  I guess it's not that important to you either.  Also, I thought Monika was into anal and so didn't need a vagina.  Am I correct in assuming, based on what you said, dilation will always be necessary?

I really haven't decided which way to go, so no surgery for the moment, but I do give those options a lot of thought.  I just wish I had been in a position to make this decision years ago.  The young kids who get the support, puberty blockers etc., are much better off than my generation.  I really like to see the way they get support from their parents in transitioning.  Perhaps, if it had been available back then, I might have gone for full SRS, after I decided in my late teens that I was interested in it.  Unlike many trans, I didn't have that feeling when I was younger.  I'm 63 years old and that's why I think just getting rid of the male bits might be enough, rather than attempting a full transition at my age.

I doubt that you are 30 years older than me. I was born in 1951 and my surgical date was 1982. My avatar is a photo of me that dates to about 1986. Dilation of some kind is needed for several years. I went for about 10 years without dilation and while it was a little tight at first, I am back where I should be. Dilation for me is once a week or sex could be substituted for dilation. When I transitioned, you couldn't receive HRT or surgery until you reached 18 years of age. The blockers weren't used in treatment so you were stuck with what ever T decided to do with you. For most of us that meant the transition didn't start until the mid to late 20s as you had to have the money to pay for everything.

When you feel transgender varies. We have some on the site who know very young, many who knew in their teens and a fair number who figured it out in adulthood. In my case, there were signs when I was very young but I reach 13 before I knew.

As for sex, I think demisexual may be the best description. I need to find somebody who is really determined to turn me on before I become interested. So far, I haven't bumped into anybody that determined.

I realized my error about your age and corrected my post earlier.  I was thinking you were 34 and missed that was when your "rebirth" was.  I was born in 1953.

Yes, I know about the age varying.  Some know it when they're young children.  Others much later.  However, I have noticed many that transition several years after they feel the need.  I'm in that category and it's why I haven't decided on what to do.  If I was in my late teens, I'd go for full SRS.  I live in Canada, where the surgery is covered, but you have to go to a psychiatrist for a period of time, live as a woman etc. before you qualify.

BTW, did you see the recent show on the National Geographic channel?  Even some pre-schoolers seem to know they're made wrong.

Quote from: JamesK on February 26, 2017, 01:26:10 PM
While I certainly enjoy sex with women, I have also enjoyed it with men.  However, sex is generally not that important to me.

  I'm 63 years old and that's why I think just getting rid of the male bits might be enough, rather than attempting a full transition at my age.

Hi James,

  I am Jeanette. I and 64 and started HRT last December.  I have given thought to what I feel I need to have done to fulfill my needs to be a woman at this age. I am not sure that I will need the full menu but I'll keep my options open. Things change.
  I told this to my oncologist when she asked and I told her the same thing. I also told her there were two things I'd have done tomorrow if I could. The first is an orchiectomy and the second would be a trachea shave. Two items I have never been happy with. Let them be gone and good riddance to them.
  More than that would be on a as needed basis. Electrolysis would be needed of course.

  Those are my personal priorities at this time.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

I recorded the National Geographic show but I haven't had time to watch it. I am aware that children can know as young as age 3 or 4 and there are a number of news articles on the site about children doing that. We also have members that knew at an early age but weren't able to get treatment until they were much older. You get a pretty good feeling for the membership when you work introductions and I started working them before I became a moderator because I was running out of work elsewhere.

Most of the time our conditioning to remain in our birth gender is pretty strong. We may have to fight it for months or years before we are ready to deal with it. Their are member who are unable to overcome the condition and they are stuck in the fight. Some are receiving no treatment other than therapy while others use HRT to suppress the dysphoria enough that they can continue in their birth role. People try most everything with varying degrees of success.

If you want somebody to pay for your treatment, therapy and RLE are normally a requirement. There are ways of getting surgery without it but you will have to pay for it. In my case, I had to do RLE and therapy in order to get my surgical letters and for the most part, I needed to pay for all of it. In Canada you have a good surgeon and I think he will preform what ever surgery you decide on.

Welcome James

Nowadays there are many options for a TG/TS. 

Born in 1950, SRS in 77.  No legal protections for MtF without SRS back then.  My work was OK, but until I had a commitment from the surgeons would not let me work as a woman.  And as some have said it was all on my own expense. 

Never kept up dilation, in fact in 77 wasn't any real dilation equipment.  An older friend would form a penile substitute out of Medical Silicone for herself and others.  She said that when she left hospital, they just inserted a wooden dowel covered in gauze for dilation.

Never had much male penetrative sex back then or recently, have not had any real satisfaction in that.

I have one slightly younger friend of 64 who has had an orchiectomy, so she wouldn't have to keep up any anti-T medications.  When it is done they can preserve the scrotal tissue in case later of full SRS.  She is going for FFS in a few weeks.  She has no plans yet on any SRS.

I was born in 1953.  This is something I've been thinking of for a long time, but never had the courage to do anything,  other than wearing female clothes.  I'm at the stage where I'm seriously thinking about doing something, but not sure what.  In addition to the surgeries I mentioned, there is also HRT to consider.  Perhaps I'll be able to talk to my doctor about that.  Hopefully, I'll get the right curves and be better able to fill out my bra.   

I mentioned curves because when I cross dressed, I noticed things didn't always fit as well as they should due to the lack of appropriate curves.

Someone else mentioned that it's now possible for a GP in Ontario to prescribe HRT.  So, I guess it's just a matter of building up enough courage.  It's all a lot to process, but what I've been reading here is encouraging.

HRT is a good place to start. It can reduce dysphoria and while it may not give you the perfect face and body, it tends to improve things. When you work up your courage just remember that doctors who prescribe HRT do it every day and it's routine for them. The will not judge you and you have nothing to fear from them.

Hi James 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

QuoteSo, I guess it's just a matter of building up enough courage.

I DID IT!!!

This morning, I had my regular scheduled physical.  When I booked the appointment, months ago, I had no thoughts about asking trans questions.  After the discussions here, I decided now was the time.

While my doctor has seen me in pantyhose & nail polish for years, she has never seen me in a bra, nor had I mentioned it.  I decided I'd wear my bra to the appointment and was feeling relieved about it, as I put on my bra this morning, knowing that I wouldn't be hiding it from her anymore.  During the exam, I had to remove my pants & socks, but not pantyhose and unbutton my shirt.  My pantyhose were pulled partly down to do the prostate check, as had happened many times before.  My bra would have been very obvious to her, as she used her stethoscope on my chest & back.  However, she just worked around my bra and didn't mention anything about it.  Near the end of the appointment, I asked if she could prescribe something to make my breasts grow.  She said she doesn't do that but could provide info on others who do.  We had a brief discussion and she said she'd put some info together, for my follow up visit (on another matter) in 2 weeks.

So, I've taken the first "official" step.  Now all I have to do is decide how far I want to take this.

It feels great to have taken that load off my mind.

  Way to Go James !!! Taking that step to ask is a real step to becoming more than "just a crossdresser" If you'll remember you said you were a lot like me in another post and I agree. I know where you are coming from. (as do many others here) I hope your next step results in starting HRT soon thereafter. Unless you've had the baseline tests done , you will likely need those before they will start you on HRT.  btw soon "James won't seem appropriate and I haven't seen you give a female name yet. Have you chosen one? Did I miss reference to it?
  I you need to compare notes or just take hit me up.

  Good Job!

   Hugs,
   Jeanette

I also hope to start HRT soon.  Back when I was into full cross dressing, I used the name "Anne".  Perhaps again.  Of course that all depends on how far I take this.

So, I'll get that info from my doctor on the 16th and I'll see where that leads me.  I have given a lot of thought over the years to the surgical options I mentioned earlier, they all appeal to me.  Or I may just choose to stay on hormones.

It just feels so great to have taken even this one step.

Incidentally, I felt really comfortable with my doctor seeing me in and working around my bra.  It just seemed so natural.

Let me know if you decide to change your name on the forum. It needs to be unique and you can check for that in the upper right hand corner of the screen with the members tab. It only takes a couple of minutes to get it set up.

Anne appears to be taken by someone who hasn't posted in almost 4 years.  However, AnneK appears to be free.  I guess that's a good choice.

Well Hi AnneK  Welcome again. AnneK sounds more appropriate for the person I'm getting to know here.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette