So I finally tried to do -something-... painted my toenails a pleasant shade of my favorite color, purple.  And parts of the toes... and the inside of a sock... yeah, it's a mess for a first time, but could have been worse!

Anyhow, I think I'm not learning anything from this.  I expected some AHA! moment, either "omg this is stupid get it off me!" or "ahhh, this is so right".  But, no strong feelings really?  I do like how it looks, and would consider doing it again when this wears off, so...

I'm in denial, aren't I?

I just expected some sort of euphoria.  Thinking it looks "cool" and feeling zero stress could be read as "it feels natural so I'm making no big deal out of it".  I can't think of other interpretations right now.  Or else that's the interpretation I want.  Has anyone had a similar experience experimenting with anything?

Quote from: MaybeJessica on February 27, 2017, 11:15:34 AM
painted my toenails a pleasant shade of my favorite color, purple.  And parts of the toes... and the inside of a sock... yeah, it's a mess for a first time, but could have been worse!

  Hi Jessica,
   I'm not sure what you mean by "parts of the toes... and the inside of a sock."  It sounds a bit strange unless you are talking about being a little sloppy in application and not waiting long enough for the polish to dry before putting on your socks. If that is it then all you need is a little more practice and experience. Keep it up you'll get it.
   I have had my toes polished and my body shaved ever since I came out to my doctor in January. It is the longest I had ever done them. It was as if telling my doctor about me, his easy acceptance and getting on HRT was a permission of sorts to be feminine, at least in subtle ways. Like my woman is emerging. I am still very much in the closet but hey it's a beginning.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette
   

Quote from: MaybeJessica on February 27, 2017, 11:15:34 AM
So I finally tried to do -something-... painted my toenails a pleasant shade of my favorite color, purple.  And parts of the toes... and the inside of a sock... yeah, it's a mess for a first time, but could have been worse!

I would recommend toe spacers from any stores beauty department, beyond that practice! lol
(And yes, it's okay to suck at it, the first time lol Q tips and remover work wonders. Also, yeah, I would wait probably even 12-24 hours before putting socks on, even when it feels dry, depending on how thick you put it on, you can end up with 'waffle print' texture in the nails form the fabric pressing into it. lol)

Quote from: MaybeJessica on February 27, 2017, 11:15:34 AM
Anyhow, I think I'm not learning anything from this.  I expected some AHA! moment, either "omg this is stupid get it off me!" or "ahhh, this is so right".  But, no strong feelings really?  I do like how it looks, and would consider doing it again when this wears off, so...

I'm in denial, aren't I?

I just expected some sort of euphoria.  Thinking it looks "cool" and feeling zero stress could be read as "it feels natural so I'm making no big deal out of it".  I can't think of other interpretations right now.  Or else that's the interpretation I want.  Has anyone had a similar experience experimenting with anything?

Mmm maybe maybe not, honestly. Euphoria would be a weird way to describe it for me. (Toes are literally the one thing I can currently get away with at work, so I leave them done under my work boots.) 'Feeling natural and not making a big deal out of it' to me sounds like while it may not be this total awakening of emotions for you, but more or less, like you said, it's normal, it's natural, and maybe the screaming voices of wrongness will be quieter doing the little things like this.

Quote from: MaybeJessica on February 27, 2017, 11:15:34 AM
So I finally tried to do -something-... painted my toenails a pleasant shade of my favorite color, purple.  And parts of the toes... and the inside of a sock... yeah, it's a mess for a first time, but could have been worse!

Anyhow, I think I'm not learning anything from this.  I expected some AHA! moment, either "omg this is stupid get it off me!" or "ahhh, this is so right".  But, no strong feelings really?  I do like how it looks, and would consider doing it again when this wears off, so...

I'm in denial, aren't I?

I just expected some sort of euphoria.  Thinking it looks "cool" and feeling zero stress could be read as "it feels natural so I'm making no big deal out of it".  I can't think of other interpretations right now.  Or else that's the interpretation I want.  Has anyone had a similar experience experimenting with anything?

I've found keeping my legs shaved and occasionally painting my fingernails helps settle dysphoria sometimes, yes.

Quote from: JeanetteLW on February 27, 2017, 11:30:03 AM
  Hi Jessica,
   I'm not sure what you mean by "parts of the toes... and the inside of a sock."  It sounds a bit strange unless you are talking about being a little sloppy in application and not waiting long enough for the polish to dry before putting on your socks. If that is it then all you need is a little more practice and experience. Keep it up you'll get it.

Hehe, yes, I was a little sloppy, and put on socks too soon, so one stuck a little to a toe later.  I'm not really worried at all, it went better than I thought, overall.  Practice makes... less messes! 

Ah, the ancient art of nail polish

I started painting my nails when I was about 7 or 8 and 56 years later and I'm still painting them. Can't leave the house without a good mani.
The secret to a good polish is to always use a base coat, unless you want staining. Then finish with a top coat for lasting wear.
You'll get the hang of it pretty quick. The hardest is painting your dominant hand. The trick is to hold the brush steady and move your hand on a flat surface, not the brush.

shy

I don't really get euphoric either when I do little things, but they still feel good to do, I think the euphoria comes from shedding the burdens society has placed on us rather than the act itself, we haven't really done that yet. Every small step I take makes me feel better though.

And thanks for the tip Shy, I'll be using it!

first thing I did after coming out was paint my toes, cant be seen in work boots, dressing up and make up is wayyyy the best as soon as I put my wig on!!

Na, never done them myself. I highly recommend getting them done at a salon. Some places have packages that will pamper you like you've never been pampered before. As far as how I feel it's just that I have been getting them done for so long. Years before I started to transition, that it just does not feel right when they are not done. And I go into the salon in guy mode. And get a French gel mani and pedi. Nobody has ever said a thing and have not ever really noticed weird looks or anything. So worth it. Have to have it. So no euphoria, no feeling other than i just have to have nice looking hands and nails. And no better than a French gel manicure. I used to get what they call and American gel mani. It's just a French but with matte top coat. With matte top coat I used, not even the manicurist could tell I had gel on my nails. I did my research on the colors and matte top coat that would make them look so natural nobody even knew. The just looked super clean and I kept the just past the end of the finger. Sorry. Rambling lol

There can be any number of things we try out on our journey that may make little difference at that time.  I tried transition before in the 80s and 90s and failed.  Obviously I got no euphoria from those experiences.  One aspect of being transgender is the persistence of our gender identity.  I initially got a charge out of crossdressing but couple that with continuing shame and it is a +/- situation.

I suggest its not the act or clothing item we try out but the feeling we have of real self acceptance, and that was the start of the euphoria that i experienced my first 8 months of transition.

Another step on the way is still a valid part of the learning curve for any of us.  Not all girls like makeup or polished nails.

When I first started with nail polish before I was out at work I used the clear polish. After coming out I used nude or very pail polish. Today I have on pink polish that is very noticeable. I am out at work so no one blinked an eye. That felt cool. This was the first time I wore a bold color

I use OPI with a base coat, 2 or 3 coats of color and a top coat. I often let a day go by before applying a second color coat. Putting layer over layer can cause it to wrinkle.

There is a learning curve. Talk to other woman and they will help you out.

I never had euphoria about nail polish, when I was young or now. 

I've always found happiness in accomplishment.  I did feel euphoria the first time I painted my toenails, but -- a little context.  I had come out to my wife a few months before, and was crossdressing almost full time around the house, but had not started therapy or hormones yet.  I was also wearing two piece bikinis for swimming in my pool. (I have a pretty good privacy fence.)

I had ordered some cheap nail polish online, and on that particular summer day, I noticed one of my nail polish colors almost exactly matched the colors in the bikini I was going to wear for swimming that day.  So I did my toenails, a totally amateur teen girl nail job, and I just loved how I looked in the bikini and the matching nail polish.

So that was my little bit of happiness on that summer day a year and a half ago.

To this day, I still love coordinating my nail polish with what I am wearing.  And during times when I am fully out in public (most of the time now) if the weather is nice, I wear open toe shoes to show off my nails.

I'm FtM so can't relate to everything here (and I haven't read all the comments so my point may have been said) but I can really relate to expecting/wanting something to make you feel euphoric and wondering what it means when it doesn't. I get this with binding, wearing male clothes, and even the right pronouns and names. I guess all I can say it that even though I haven't at any one point felt euphoric, over time I am gradually feeling more comfortable. Which I guess sounds like what might be going on for you. No sudden realisation moment but gradually realising it's right.

Also, good luck with the nail polish, from my time spent presenting as female I know that applying it can be a total nightmare but worth it in the end I expect