I frequently fantasize about how I would like to look ( I gues a lot of us do  ) and I also think about how I want to look; and I came to the conclusion that in this life I have I want to keep my penis, not because its easier, but because I actually LIKE it. Odd isnt it? If I would have the choice to be born as a female I would have done that but the thought of having a neo-vagina ( I dont know what it really is called like) really freaks me out and I want none of it..I feel it couldnt be part of me since I wasnt born with it; it doesnt make me whole; I dont want such changes to my body

I do however enjoy those thought about having curves, smooth skin, a femme face and everything. It gets me all warm and fuzzy inside and make me get this huge smile when I am in a good mood

But what terrifies me even more is this image of so called "->-bleeped-<-s". I got to know this term by visiting and surfing the wikipedia site and well, the rest is history, even saw some pictures etc They seem to, and I feel horrible saying this, resemble my wishes somewhat, atleast is a visual way

But that porn tag is really throwing me up....I get the feeling that my being is some sort of porn-idealogy

That has really making me very sad and I cant shed the feeling I am a worthless TG now since I encountered this

Veetje,

Your comfort and feeling that you are complete shouldn't be a matter that you feel badly about. It doesn't seem to be my particular avenue, but we are different people and how can I find fault with that? Some will, I'm sure.

But living one's life cannot usually be a matter of putting one's decisions and desires and comforts to a 'unanimous vote of the populace.'

Go the direction that feels right to you. And Mother go with you and keep you safe and knowing that your way is comfortable for you.

Besides, at any point anyone can change direction. We do that allatime, no?

Nichole

I'm mad cause I might prefer this direction until technology improves.