Wow, What a pathetic way to title a post! But we're in a world where there are a LOT of us who can only live our authentic selves in the relative safety of the cyber world. I am mumble mumble years old (Hey, a lady doesn't tell her age!) but let's just say that I can BARELY remember the Apollo moon landings. I am (probably) Trans and if we lived in a world that accepted us and it wouldn't cost family, jobs, lifestyle, etc....I'd transition in a heartbeat. I would absolutely LOVE to BE a woman! But sadly that's not the world we live in. Therefore, I need to have SOME sort of outlet in which I can be "me". any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Allison

Considr going to a transgender support group. You can find one in almost any city!

Hi Allison

I'm also old enough to remember the moon landings.  I know I'm trans and wish I'd been able to have SRS years ago.  I look, with envy, at how even pre-schoolers are getting the support they need to transition.  At the moment, I'm just exploring my options, to see where they take me.

  Hi Allison

   If you "barely remember" the landing on the moon I am older than you. I remember it well. I was finishing high school at the time.  Being trans does jeopardize a lot of the life we made for ourselves. I lost some of the things you talk about in part due to my transness though I didn't know it was that. I though I was "just a crossdresser" Well back in December it hit me full in the face than I am a trans-woman. I cannot change that but the realization of it is both affirming and disrupting. I started HRT and see it as right for me. But on the other hand it jeopardizes my confidence, my relationships with friends and family. I love my daughter and 5 grandchildren I don't want to lose them again. I will have to face that prospect soon. It scares me. Scares me enough to the point I am having thought of stopping HRT rather than standing up and confronting the issue.
  I cannot tell you how to confront your problems there is risk in whatever paths we choose. You must make your own decisions. But rest assured you do have friends here in Susan's Place. We'll listen, hold your hand. relate how we dealt with our own trials and  we'll offer suggestions. But you must make your own choices and live with the results.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

Hi Allison,
No, it is not pathetic at all. I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been there.......it's safe to say we have all been there!
I remember the moon landings well. I'm now 58 and I love that I am a lady. After a lifetime of crossdressing I came to the terrorising realisation that I am a transgendered woman about 4 years ago. Self acceptance has proved very rewarding and like you, if it was not for lifestyle, work, family etc. I would transition in a heartbeat. However life is not always like that.
Being transgender is not easy but can be fulfilling and rewarding also.
Jeanette has said it all below. We all take a different path. You must make your own decisions but we will listen and share our own experience.
You will find many friends here.
Ciara.
xx.

If you are "barely" old enough to remember the Moon landings, then you are a young whipper-snapper!    I ain't no lady, so I'll tell you that I am 62 and remember them well.  And I am just starting my transition.  Hey, better late than never!

You are among friends here.  And I second the recommendation to find a support group in yor area.  The companionship of people in real life is not to be underestimated.  And a support group will know if what resources are available in your area.

I realize that your situation is likely different from mine, so I am not going to suggest that what works for me will work for you.  But, whatever you decide, you are beautiful, and you have friends.

I remember the moon landing very well. I was in Hawaii at the time taking care of my sisters kids while she had her fourth baby. I had just graduated high school. Her husband worked at the communication station in Wahiawa and monitored the flight. The streets of Honolulu were filled with cheering people as the trailer the astronauts were quarantined was transported to Hickam Field. For a brief moment the country was united. I too have been seeking friends as I gave up on the ones I had while I held my secret life.  There are transgender resources available in almost every large city in the country. In Seattle/Tacoma we are blessed with several. Plus the state has enacted laws to protect trans people.

I remember the moon landings, Kennedy's assassination, project mercury and even the Eisenhower administration. We live in a world were you can be what ever you want to be. All you need to do is ask and we will help you get there. Yes I transitioned many years ago but if I could do it then, I am sure you can do it today. As Churchill said years ago, all we have to fear is fear it's self.

I barely remember seeing the moon walk, I am 54.

I am very lucky where I work and am not treated negatively. I am welcomed and accepted.

I am losing my wife and my daughter will not be seen with me in public.

I have found relief from dysphoria and am keeping a promise I made to myself when I was very young. I think I added 26 years to my life.

I remember the moon landing too.  I was nine and living in Taiwan that summer.  We had no TV so we walked into town and with a crowd of local Chinese watched it through a store window.

I don't remember Kennedy's assassination but I do remember the funeral as it preempted all the cartoons on the three TV channels that existed then.


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote

Allison,

Let me extend a really belated welcome to the site. Sorry this is so late coming.

I am 52 and only accepted who I am 2 years ago. I too felt I love my wife too much to change anything. When I first came on here I felt like you described in another post(little league player advising a pro player). Many of us have started where you are.

I didn't think I would ever get to where I am but started HRT about a year ago. My wife is still with me as are my kids. I am not out at work or to some family yet. However, while it is not a dream cruise it has not been as bad as I expected.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna