Just over 10 year ago I had a Orchiectomy and went on with life, and left trans life in the past. I am now 63 living with my BF 5 years now, and not happy. I don't know what I want, but living with out a past make it hard to have friends they want to know more about me. I fill like I am living a lie 24/7. I want to go back to the LGBT life. My BF says no he will live.

       any input

Welcome to Susan's Place. There are ways to describe your past and remain gender neutral without lying and you can also direct the conversation away from places you don't want to go. There is nothing in the rules that says you have to conceal your past but do it only if you are comfortable.

There is one other possibility and that is like many of us CIS and otherwise, you are having the so called mid life crisis and are looking to your past for a solution. If so, a few visits to a therapist to re evaluate your life could be beneficial.

In my case, the death of my  roommate pretty well left me without  much of a goal in life. I took care of the estate and then discovered this site. Somewhere along the line they put a ball and chain on my leg, a keyboard in my hands and a badge over my avatar. Somewhere there is something for you but you will need to look for it.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

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think you for your comments have a good day

And that's why I still go to my LGBT group and centre every week (even if it is mostly a lesbian group), despite being supposedly "done" with transition. I'm not sure if I pass, so it is unclear if I am living a lie or I am in the open, but I need a place and people, apart from internet forums, where I can be myself and not having to hide anything.