Feel free to move this thread if there is a better place for it. After some internal debate, I couldn't rationalize it belinging in sexuality. But it is about the orgasm. The toe curling, female orgasms many trans women mention from time to time.

Most of us know full well how to orgasm as a male, but then things get thrown off, HRT and whatnot... and then, after some months/years, something new begins to surface. Something elusive and enticing, you can tell it is out there but you have to idea how to achieve it. You know?

So, veterans, any tips? Any clues how to flip that switch from male to female in the pleasure department? I am beginning to see why women can get so frustrated by trying to achieve orgasm... but I can also tell that it is like, ready to surface the moment I figure it out.

Again, if this is the wrong place, feel free to move. I am just looking for facts and info, nothing more. Keep things within the rules.

Like any woman, it's a two step process. First you need fore play and then the final act. Foreplay can be cuddling, rubbing anything other than the crotch area, viewing porn, talking sexy or imagination. When you do it correctly, you will feel a warm glow all over your body. That in it's self is pretty pleasurable and it can last a long time. It is possible to imagine your partner doing these acts and reach this point by yourself. You are now ready for the finals act and the crotch area is permitted.

If your partner doesn't spend the proper amount of time preparing you, don't expect much to happen. If your partner does this consistently, they are more interested in their pleasure than yours.

Well, that is inspiring because it sounds like what any other woman would experience.

That tingle is dead on. That was the first big change I noticed where I went, "Holy cow, my wiring may have entirely changed. There may be more to all this now."

Thank you for your reply.

I work with women all day (8am-5pm, 5 days a week) and whilst only my boss knows I started hrt 2 months ago I still fit into that "it is safe to speak around me zone". Because of this I hear a lot and it really is about time, physical contact and building it up with each wave until it occurs. Indeed, having dated only older women and all very long-term I got schooled very well on what I was required to do if I wanted it to be a two way thing :3

In all cases it was about building it up and maintaining it whilst ensuring intimacy was central to it all.

Whereas "male me" could go into a corner and the matrixing on the wall that resembled a hot woman was enough. Alternatively, pretty much anything visual was enough lol.


I guess for us it is all flipped around the moment we started hrt and we are now requiring more than a visual image.

Wonderful post!

Having been on HRT a short time I notice that alone has changed how all of that works. I need only the visual imagery now and it's all over pretty quick, compared to how it was on female hormone levels. Perhaps more time on HRT just eventually rewires the brain in that area. But since you have been on HRT quite a while as is, maybe you need something more.

Like Dena said it's more of a 2 step thing, but from what I remember in the past, the right mental imagery and being free of anxiety at the time is extremely helpful. I know it was the lack of the right kinds of mental imagery that always made the while thing underwhelming (or impossible even) for me. I ended up finding some eventually that did actually work and it made the difference. I assumed it was a purely mechanical process but it really isn't, at least it wasn't for me back then. Either that or being with someone you are insanely in love with at the time which is the overriding mental imagery. Get it right and it's possible for them to repeat those 30 second ones several times easily in a few minutes if they felt like it. . . looks like my days of being able to do that have gone now with T lol. I hear it's entirely possible for transwomen to do this and to achieve multiple orgasms as well although to be honest I still don't know exactly how one controls this ability. I know it's possible, I just don't think it's something you can make happen any/every time. Guess it's down to each individual's body.

Granted I'm not female upstairs and I no longer have female blood in my veins as it were, but having female parts sure does seem to come with extra maintenance in that dept. Most of the close female friends I know have said similar things if talking about that topic, needing the right "picture" or frame of mind/scenario, the right kinds of attention to the right areas, and not too much too fast (or stuff can go numb or desensitized), and of stress (even a little) being a huge turn off. It's so unique to the individual it's hard to advise. But I would suggest there's got to be something you could think about (you may not even know what it is yet) that will definitely help out.

I would say you don't have to have shut down your male orgasm to experience it. There is a much different feeling to an orgasm if you follow the same pattern required for the female one, I think what it is, is the orgasm and ejaculation are two different things, orgasm triggers ejaculation, but not necessarily the other way around. If you think of it this way, an orgasm is not required for an egg to be fertilized, why would it be required to spray the fertilizer? You lose the ability to ejaculate after a while on HRT, essentially forcing you to learn how to cause orgasm.

This is a bit graphic, but I never made much noise with my normal method... I can't not with the other method >.>... I think I started singing one time. If you're pre HRT, it takes some level of willpower to not touch it before you're ready... But basically what was said here is spot on... You need to take your time, and build yourself up, any tiny emotional disturbance could ruin it.

I don't know if I can add or if it will help, I can tell you what happens for me though.

What it takes to get me there has completely changed. Visual stimulus is not only unneeded it is a distraction. It's in the head and touch. First part, the brain portion, is not being distracted and being in the "mood". I don't know if I can explain "mood" as I don't have to be aroused before hand for my boyfriend to get me "in the mood" very quickly. It just seems to be how he goes about it sometimes. Sometimes I don't have to think about anything, just enjoy and it happens. Most of the time I have to think about it when the foreplay is done and the sex is happening. It's kinda like a porno in my head but not. Same but different. It's not images, or not images alone, it's images and physical sensations. I won't say what I think about but I can't really be moving around, I need to focus.  Also, I have a tendency to get ah... overloaded maybe, or overestimated to the point where I can't think, can hardly breathe. It's a kinda orgasm and VERY pleasurable, but it's not the IT that can happen. So I have to keep some sense of what's happening and direct him if I can. Touch too long in one area an it fades, hop around too quickly and it fades. Jump to the end too quickly and the he goes over leaving me behind. Which is fine for me to be honest. He still wants to take care of me so he overloads me then holds me till I am done being a wreck. It sounds like work, huh? It's not, it happens or not and there is no stress in it.

The physical part is no where near what it used to be. My skin is very sensitive now. Brushing in varying intensity or tempo, pressure in certain areas is what it takes. For whatever reason my belly is incredibly sensitive. Just no touching the... well you know. I can do that and it only takes smallest touch there when everything is ready.

As for the big O, that has changed too. I can't keep my breath right and I can't keep completely quiet. Then the pressure starts building. Tingling starts in the back of my thighs and stomach and grows to a warmth. My neck gets warm at this point too, from my throat to my ears, not sure why. I have no idea what happens then, or how long it takes. Waves is the only way I can describe it. WOW, then not so hard with the nails or you will make him bleed aga.... OH MY GOD! Then, he smells sooooo goo... WAVE then, what's wrong with you? Don't bite through his earlobe! WAVE       Then it slowly goes away. I that point I hope that I don't have anything to do because coming down takes forever.

I have no idea if I am experiencing the same thing other women do. My friends that I have talked to say the same thing basically, "Yeah, I guess. I've never broke it down like that before but it's like that or very close." The conversation usually goes to what we do and do not like after that and I don't push for specifics about the orgasm. I don't think that I will ask any of them again. The last friend that I asked, went on to rate the men she had been with and made sure that I knew at the end that being with more than one guy is not worth it. That she was too busy making things work and being moved around to get anything out of it. There is a limit to how  much I want to know.

Hope you get to experience it soon.

I've wondered how this would work with my already limited and high-work "pleasure time", but that sounds hot and way better than what little feeling I get now.