I have got to a stage in my life where I am finally at peace with who I am. Not that I'm where I want to be ideally but, thats ok... isn't it?

To say I am lucky is an understatement. My wife has been so amazingly supportive, she helps me find clothes, choose hair and even some more subtle femme pointers. The "problem" i face at the moment is that i am ready to really begin a serious transition but, the people and the world around me are not. Especially my work life, where being trans would simply not be appropriate.

I have decided that its getting closer to a time where i will need to let my family know about this part of my life, although i dont think they will be initially supportive. What i would be happy with is acceptance that this is my life outside of my 9-5 and that they understood that I am not going to let it impact my work. That it is a social transition but, one i can manage and control. Oh, did i mention, i work with my family...

Now, before anyone jumps on the easy answer bandwagon, saying things like live for yourself, let other learn to cope etc. etc. That is exactly what i am planning to do. This time however, living for myself means that i dont want to risk my working life, as the cosequences would not be conducive to my current happy state.

So i guess what im asking is (and i think i know the answer) do people think this can work, or am i mad to think i can cope?

Would be keen to hear your thoughts or your own stories.


Sammie
xx

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Hi Sammie,


  Do I think you can come out to your family, deal with their acceptance or their not accepting it, and start your transition, and perform your work in your male persona as if nothing has happened?  Is that about it?

  Well in inho I think you probably could with the aid and support of your wonderful wife and depending on how well your family are able to separate the two personas between work and other times. A lot of your ability to keep the two separate depends on them as they are family and work associates. That could throw a monkey wrench into the works.
   But as far as you being able to do it? Yes I think you probably could, at least for a time until Sammie either physically becomes too obvious or she become to insistent at getting top billing in your life as she likely will down the road.
   Of course this is only my opinion and it sure wouldn't be the first time I was wrong nor my last. When all is said and done only you can answer your own question.

  I will now stfu and let you figure it out.

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

Funny thing is Jeanette that I have just had a similar conversation, with my mum about another family members problems.

She seems to think that she can give her opinion as instruction, which simply isn't true. I totally agree with you, People need to find their own answers/ solutions.  All anyone else can do is help them to ask themselves the right questions.

I suppose that's why I came on here really. To make sure I was asking myself the right questions.

You do raise a few good points for me to consider too. Could I really cope with it?

I think this really depends on the level of support I had. Maybe I'm worried that I would end up squashing Sammie instead of embracing my life.  I'm not convinced in the slightest that my family (wife excluded) would be accepting, let alone supportive. This in turn prompts fear of being forced to take retrograde steps. All this heartache and effort to just end up losing the comfort I have gained.

Tough one...


Sammie
xx

(Via Tapatalk)

Interesting to read your story as I have a similar situation that I lived for about 15 years until about 6 months ago.

One of my business ventures happens to involve my wife who is a share holder and handles the office front end. She on the other hand is not supportive and basically has put up with me for a long time. I have always had to play the male roll to run the company, deal with clients etc. Oh and by the way this is a hardscape construction company with well rugged typical chauvinistic guys. Now I like you made the same decision to play the male role to satisfy my interests in business. It becomes very difficult unless your more Two Spirited than Trans. I tried but my head space has always been to be full time. I lasted 15 years like I said until I blew apart, I could not handle it anymore living that false self. I now have come out completely to all the hardcore construction guys etc. Some issues but nothing major, The majority of our clients have no problem but we have lost a few. All in all Im glad I can be myself and move forward. Again this is just me. You maybe able to cope and handle things very well and I hope you can.

Just something to consider young lady.

Huggs Niki

Thanks Niki. I think you've hit the nail on the head. I don't really know if/ how long I could cope with it for.

Maybe I'm just trying to find solutions to an otherwise unsolvable situation. Clutching at straws as it were.

I don't think there is a quick fix to this.  I'm also leaning back towards keeping things between me and my wife for now.
Let's be honest, it's a huge step and we aren't even sure where it will lead next.

Perhaps I am just worried that time has let me down so far and now that I have a glimmer of opportunity I am tempted to run with by any means.  This isn't the best time to upset things further, let's just see how things go for the time being maybe...

Y'know, or maybe not.

Either way I think you have helped me realise that haste is not necessarily wise in this case.

Thank you


Sammie
xx

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