Hi Schala to me at the time I was compared to a bitch by that man, it felt it more like a compliment at the time instead tacking it as an ignorant remark. I can so remember the hot summer days during the early part of living full time.
There were times I would drive down the highway wearing a low cut neck line, knee length sun dress. All the windows rolled down, my hair fluttering in the wind and the music on the car radio blaring. I would be just a boogieing down the highway and sometimes even making an attempt to sing along with whatever song was on the car radio. I would get right into rock then, Actually I still love rock music. Well here I am snapping my fingers and rocking back and forth to the beat of the music behind the steering wheel.
I would see these truck drivers pulling up beside me, I would stick my chest out and pretended I was oblivious to them and they would give me a blast on the air horn, I would glance over to them and most times they would be wearing this big ass silly smile on their face and then waved as they went by. I just felt so free, like the lady in Harper Vally PTA. she was my inspiration. I love making people smile or and laugh. There is an art to putting a smiles on peoples faces, it truly is an art. An art that I have adopted through the years, and it came in quite handy. For that mater I kind of always had that gift and of course I love to oblige, there is no hesitation. I can put on this act pretty well anywhere where there are people. I guess that's pretty good for an old bat who thinks shes in her teens still. this town ain't seen the likes of me yet. "hee, hee, hee." Nice to be back to normal.
Me I can't figure this out, some of the ladies that have fully transitioned all the way through to post opp they feel like they don't belong here anymore.
that they have outgrown this place. saying that it's always the same old prattling and the conversations are kind of depressing. They just can't wait to go out and explore the world with their new plumbing. Well I came back after being away for 7 years and I am so grateful to be back among you girls. The stories of your struggles and successes, our strengths and weakness, and not letting your failures take you down, but picking yourselves off the floor and simply resume forging ahead. Your many questions have all been a learning experience to me. I think it is wonderful to see you folks on Susan's again.
Some of the members here are young enough to be my grand kids, but good kids, really. I love every last one of them like they were truly my grandchildren/children. You all have a much different more mature way of looking at things and how to deal with them. Your personalities and attitudes are also different then most other kids you see out there for certain. I love you all, much, and to tell the truth I sometimes I felt a bit of envy for some of you.
This board is good for me. As for the last seven years I had to utilise pure instinct along with using trial and error, having no outside help to show me how, I just taught myself what clothes I should wear, my mannerisms, how to do make up and all that there neat stuff. To tell the truth after being away from here for a couple of months I had all but forgotten about this place as well. I done a lot of fantasizing from all the way back to when I was a little kid, I could imagine myself being a girl in my mind even way before I learned anything about being what Trans folks meant. Being here helps me to learn about your strengths and weaknesses. So I learned things from you all as well. Susan's is not unlike not to unlike a classroom. Some have even said that we need to have balls the size of the Empire State Building to pull this off. Well that might be so but those little buggers in your slacks, bluejeans, skirt, dress, or britches, a flower sack what ever. Those nuances will be gone after the big snip no longer will they be hanging about makin a nuisance of themselves.
We should all qualify the badge of bravery and honor and a glass of milk with hero cookies for all as well,( Just makin fun.) Well in real life, you are all very brave ladies indeed. I really don't think an ordinary guy with huge balls the size of the Empire State Building could go through what we had to go through just even in order to survive. I found that this journey is the best thing I could have done with my life. Maybe I was charmed or something because I never experienced much of the things a lot of the girls experienced on their journey. I am proud and honored to be lady with the bag of humor. "hee, hee, hee."
Cindy
